time out on children... face the wall
By se7enthbird
@se7enthbird (8307)
Philippines
August 14, 2011 9:02pm CST
we parents have different styles of teaching our children disipline and telling them to behave. in our case if our son did something that made me angry or made his mother angry we explain to him what is that, why is it wrong and things like that. he is just five. he tells us sorry and so far he does not do it again. if he has done something inappropriate behavior his mom will tell him to sit down maybe for five minutes or more. now that he is going to school the teacher is making them face the corner. and the teacher is telling us to teach that to him for he is the only one at school who does not know ho to face the corner or face the wall. although our child is not doing anything wrong at school he wants us to teach our son to face the wall. i need your help... my son is our only child and we have our own discipline at home. i dont agree with this face the wall thingy.
2 people like this
13 responses
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
15 Aug 11
Well if he's in the corner he can only be looking in one of two places....
Across the room at everyone else, or have his nose pointed into the corner.. which is also the wall. But considering that it not being done as a punishment and a way of keeping him from distracting other students, it is not at all appropriate; and you should first address the teacher and if that does not work, the principal, about the issue.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
my problem with this is the teacher wanted us to exercise this at home... were there is nothing he can destruct. he is very good at school, very compliant and the teacher has nothing to complain so far so we were a bit shock when he told us to exercise the face the wall thing. i started this discussion so i can see other parents opinion regarding this kind of punishment. thanks a lot for the response.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
yes some teacher forgets that boundaries. how can i punish my child when he listen to every word we say. of course he is sometimes naughty, of course all kids are like that but when he hears the voice of his mom getting mad he will be behaving already. there is a teacher-parent meeting soon and we will be opening this subject up. thanks again and have a great day ahead.
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
15 Aug 11
Yeah.. I have no problem punishing my child that way.
As far as the teacher goes, if you're not being abusive, how you choose to disipline your child at home is your concern and yours alone. I think that he/she is just trying to install consistency, but teachers have to understand their boundaries.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
15 Aug 11
I never did the wall thingy either and not sure what exactly it teaches them. I would say that you use your own disciplinary methods at home and maybe ask the teacher why this form of disciplinary is recommended at home.
I use to have one of my kids sit in the kitchen with me if I was cooking. Where there were no toys and or anything for the child to do. Facing the wall in my opinion makes they angry and not really understand the reasoning for it. After the punishment was over I always sat and spoke to my child the reasons for it.
Being five I am not sure that facing the wall they understand it is punishment and or think it is simply cruel.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
my wife uses the discipline too, he lets our son sit facing her. so if ever he needs to ask questions or wanted to talk with his mom then there they are. but my son is easy to talk with. yes i know that there are children that has different behavior at school but as of now my child is very good at school and the teacher just wanted us to exercise the face the wall. well me and wife is not going to do that for we dont understand what is the use. talking and explaining them what a child did wrong is better than telling then to face the wall. facing the wall will build them a lot of questions of why. thanks a lot for the response.
@dfollin (25381)
• United States
15 Aug 11
I used to put my kids in "timeout" in a chair,not facing a corner unless they started goofing off,like laughing with one of the other kids.But,only after I talked to them about what they did wrong and why it was wrong.
My boys are now adults and my daughter is a teenager.She is too old for "timeout".However I do babysit my granddaughter from time to time,who is 4 and her parents want me to use timeout as a punishment.
Which I thought was fine until the church that I am a member of had a parenting class that two of the speakers were the head pastor and his wife.They have 7 children!They said that they did not believe in time out,because most parents,teachers,babysitters,etc. do not tell them what they did wrong or why and they are sitting there wondering what and why.And then the act gets repeated.
They do believe in spanking....not beating,a proper style spanking.But do not use your hands,hands are for loving your child.But,use an appropiate tool,like a ruler for the younger kids.
Proverbs 23:13 Do not withhold discipline from you child;if you punish him with the rod,he will not die. (NIV)
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
it made me smiled when you said goofing around. it reminded me of me and my brother when we were younger. our mother tied us under the stairs. she need to run an errand and he tied us under the stairs. maybe you will think cruelty... but no. me and my brother almost burned our house by lighting our beds with matches. har har har. so from that day on if she needs to run out for a quick errand she does that. i pity my mom now that i am an adult. me and my brother are two tazmanian monsters har har har.
i agree with that, spare the rod spoil the child. i do put out my belt but so far havent hit him yet. he knows that is painful so thank God he knows it. my wife give him a spank at the bottom and yes not with her hand. but so seldom that we no longer remember when was the last time. thanks a lot for the response.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Aug 11
hi se7enthbird nor me what the heck is the face the wall thing all about?. I had my son stand in the corner for five or ten minutes when he was little for doing something naughty. But face the wall is she trying to humiliate the children, thats not part of discipline at all. I would ask the teacher what facing the wall has to do with discipline,does she want the other children to make fun of him? thats old fashioned and cruel in my eyes. I would tell her your feelings on that really I would as he is your child and is not to be humiliated at all. thats not punishment thats cruelty.
1 person likes this
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
hi hatley. this is the reason why i started the discussion. i want to see what other parents opinion with this. every month there is a meeting with parents and my wife wanted to open this matter up, but of course we wanted to know other parents side. we want to know if we are just over protective or is this a natural thing. me and my wife does not believe in this kind of disipline. we only have one child and facing the wall will not teach him disipline for me he might feel that we are facing our back on him. thanks for your opinion hatley and thanks for the response as well.
1 person likes this
@ryudo05 (34)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
This type of punishment for kids is inappropriate. Moreso if the disciplinarian or the person imposing his form of punishment is not communicating with the child and telling him the purpose of the punishment.
Maybe in some way you have to talk to the teacher and tell her your opinion regarding the "timeout" thing. As parents we have utmost authority in disciplining our kids as long as it is not harmful or degrading in any manner.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
welcome to the wonderful world of mylot. we will soon be having a teacher-parent meeting that is the reason why i started this discussion i want to know if i am on the wrong line or i am at the right track. i guess there are some disipline that are so old fashion already that we need to upgrade. thanks a lot for the response.
@Shavkat (140118)
• Philippines
11 Aug 12
The behavior of children varies, facing the wall can be a punishment than letting them have the love stick. But, either of the two, it is not possible for children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder).
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
18 Aug 11
My disabled son is 4 years old. If he screams during a playgroup session he goes out into the corridor. He is told it is boring out there, it is wrong to scream and that it is exciting in the playrooms. At home I have a time out system which is 4 minutes for my son's age. He gets a warning first and if he goes to time out he says sorry at the end of it. Then we discuss why he shouldn't have done what he did. At school a child must follow the rules but at home things could be different. I think that you could ask your son to obey his teacher's wishes. Good luck.
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
18 Aug 11
with our 4year old son, i usually tell him that i will get my belt and he will immediately stop doing the wrong thing. i think he does not forget how i give him a spunk if he do wrong but most of the time, and he is just a naughty boy.
@lampar (7584)
• United States
15 Aug 11
You could have over-reacted, my friend! The teacher may be doing that within the school approved rule and method. So long as no physical harm inflicted on the student, it is not really a 'severe' form of punishment to have a disorderly student facing the wall until the end of class session. Unless your son is unfairly single out for this particular punishment come out from no where. Then i think you should have a talk with his school principle.
I rember when i am primary school student, misbahaving on my part will earn me several spaking on my little palm by ruler/stick from the teacher, or face the prospect of coming back to weekend retention class in school with no holiday. Facing the wall as punishment seem insignificant compare to the punishment i received during my year in school.
@sweet_pea (3322)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Thanks for having this discussion. It is very useful for a parent like me. I too have a 5 year old toddler who is really very active. I learned that he was timed out at school, where he was seated at the corner while the rest of the class proceed with their activity. Well that was the last time he was timed out and I hope it doesn't happen again.
I think you have a good disciplinary style. I don't think that the teacher should enforce her disciplinary style on you. If you are not comfortable with it,then don't. You know better your son than she does.
@dynzdolina (381)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
some parents are doing that, but I haven't tried that to my kids. i think it is still best to reprimand privately and explain subsequently the mistake they have committed.
@nadacathy (41)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
I don't have kids yet but I have a nephew living with me. I don't practice the punishment which is facing the wall. I make my nephew sit as a "Time out" then after a few minutes I explain to him why I gave him the time out so that he will be able to understand what he did wrong, in this manner the child will be able to realize that his action is not proper.
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
15 Aug 11
hi:)
I think what the teacher did to your son is wrong because the other student might make fun of him after, perhaps it's better if the teacher just tell your son that what he did is not good if ever there is, and then talk to your son in private or after class hour.