There are plenty of fish in the sea...so stop trying to steal my fish!!
By courtknee525
@courtknee525 (3742)
United States
August 17, 2011 3:36pm CST
My boyfriend and I have happily been together for over a year now. Neither of us are ever going to leave each other and we just truly love each other. But it always seems like there's some other girl flirting with my boyfriend or just interested in him. I'm not the jealous type but sometimes it just gets annoying.
He's had his ex girlfriend tell him that she still loves him, in fact, this happened the day he asked me out. Then his friend dated this girl and my boyfriend happened to see her one day. She kept begging him to kiss her and he kept refusing, so she even went as far as asking for one on the cheek. My boyfriend was smart enough to realize she was probably going to try and go for his lips so he even refused that. So clearly, she's not a problem to our relationship because my boyfriend always tells me that it's just me, forever. He's had girls at his job at Outback flirt with him or make comments and his first day on the job a girl even left him her number.
In a way, it's kind of nice to know that other people find my boyfriend just as attractive as I do but it sometimes gets old when people actually try and get more than just a friendship out of him. Luckily, my boyfriend is a sweetheart and loyal to the core so I never have to worry about him doing anything to hurt me like that.
How do you feel when somebody tries to come between you and your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?
3 people like this
12 responses
@Amanda81587 (3042)
• United States
17 Aug 11
I know exactly where you are coming from. Just not that long ago there was a girl who was obsessed with my boyfriend she wen5 around spreading rumors about them. There are always girls trying to hang out with my boyfriend and they do not get the hint that he is taken and has three kids with me. What I find is rude is when they try to flirt with him when you are with him. It is like seriously do you want to get punched out?![](/Content/images/emotes/whistle.gif)
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@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
17 Aug 11
haha this is so true! Some girls get way too desperate and can't take a hint...or even a flat out rejection. My boyfriend would constantly tell them he has a girlfriend that he really loves and isn't going to do anything to mess up our relationship and they still bother him about breaking up with me. If someone tries to be flirty with him while I'm there I always make sure I wrap my arm around him or hold his hand or something to let them know that he's not available and they should back off with the flirting. I guess some people just like the thrill of having competition and the "chase" in getting a guy. What they don't know is that when it comes to my boyfriend, I will win everytime and they'll get nowhere with him![](/Content/images/emotes/lol.gif)
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1 person likes this
@Amanda81587 (3042)
• United States
18 Aug 11
That's awesome that you can trust your boyfriend. A lot of girls really can not say that about their man. I think there are girls like the chasers because with some men they can actually do it and get with them weather they have a girl or not. It's like they get off on trying to be a homewrecker![](/Content/images/emotes/lol.gif)
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@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
I definitely trust him one hundred percent...especially after his ex kept wanting to get back together and even tried getting him to kiss her while she was dating one of his friends. He wouldn't even let her kiss his cheek because he didn't want anything to happen that would ruin our relationship. So after that, I know I can trust him with everything. I definitely think you're right that some girls just enjoy being a homewrecker. It's probably some sort of ego booster for them, especially if they're able to get a guy away from their girlfriend. I almost feel sad for them that they have to do that but at the same time I don't because to me it's just rude of them
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@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
17 Aug 11
It doesn't bother me.
Silly b!tches can try, but I trust him and know him well enough to know that he's not going anywhere and if they overstep their boundaries he tells them that they need to step back because he's in a relationship.
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@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
18 Aug 11
Really though. He can flirt if he wants. It's human nature and it doesn't bother me.. and I wont think twice about swooping down in the middle of the action and wrapping my arms around him as a way of saying... "HAHAHA B!tche$!!"
=)
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Haha I do the same thing when someone tries anything with my boyfriend. It doesn't always stop a girl from doing anything and a lot of times I do it just to rub it in their faces that I have him and they don't
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Haha I love the way you said this. Trusting definitely helps. Even though I know he's not going anywhere, I still get annoyed when people constantly try and come between us. I think it's rude to do that to someone who's in a serious, committed relationship.
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@hairypits (294)
•
18 Aug 11
Hey courtknee, I'm going to offer my experience and what I learnt from it...hope it sheds a different angle on the situation.
To put you in the picture, I met my now husband when I was 18, we got married when I was 25 and are still together now and i'm 32. When we met, we were both already in, but at the end of dwindling relationships...I think we were trying to find the right timing/moment/reason to end each of the situations we were in. Anyway, we met, and were like soul mates - best friends with the most intense attraction to eachother. We broke off our other relationships and within 3 weeks I was staying at his 6 out of 7 nights per week.
His ex however didn't give up. She continued to ring him, saying how much she missed him and this went on for a year. He HAD told me in the early days of us being together that he'd lent her parents around £4500 over the course of their relationship which he'd been promised he'd get back. He said he wanted to stay as amicable as poss to be in with a chance of getting it back...all the while it seemed she knew this would never happen and yet used it as an excuse to keep in touch. About 6 months into the relationship her car went knackered and he went to help find her a new one, but after about 12 months of the weekly phone calls I told him I'd had enough of her and she should let him get on with his life. He agreed and told me he'd started ignoring her calls.
6 months after this, I was doing the washing one day and whilst emptying clothes pockets, found a receipt for frankie and benny's in the next town from where i lived and it was dated the friday before - when he'd said he was having his biker mates round so i stayed at my mum and dads. I confronted him about the fact he'd lied, and he said he just couldn't get his head round bombing her off and losing any chance of getting his money back so when she'd asked him to meet up to discuss it he suggested going for a bit of dinner to discuss it and she presented him with half the owed money.
I said lies weren't the way forward, I didn't need to know what she said (she often told him she missed him etc) however he should tell me if she'd been in touch. The calls continued to come, and p*ss me right off - the subjects being that she'd fallen pregnant, she'd had a miscarriage, her cousins mate had been killed (my bloke had never even met him), and the last being that she was going on holiday...no wait for it...to the same holiday resort in Turkey, the same dates as we were going. We went on holiday and had a foul time having to see her every day. On the last day however I approached her in front of the mate she went with and asked her - nicely - why she felt the need to share the most intimate part of her life with a man she hadn't been with for two years. Did she not think it was plain wierd sharing details of her pregnancy with a man it had nothing to do with and did the man who got her pregnant know about it? Her friend sat there in shock obviously not knowing any of this and it was enough to put a halt to the stalking behaviour.
Anyway here we are 14 years on, married and happily together. What I learned is that as would seem from your original post, knowing all the details of the attention your bloke gets really grates on you, but knowing nothing could turn you into a wreck. Maybe he has a certain persona - as well as his looks that attracts this kind of attention. Tell him how you feel about it, not that you're jealous, just hearing about the unnecessary behaviour he seems to attract and try to find a happy balance xx
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Wow, what an awful ex-girlfriend your husband has. I understand he wanted to stay on good terms so he could get his money back but he should've been open when he went to see her. Luckily it seems that you and your husband have a good relationship and trust so it wasn't too big of a problem. As for your vacation...wow!! I'd be so annoyed if I went on vacation and my boyfriend's ex happened to be there. Actually, it sort of happened last year. We went to a few amusement parks a few hours a way one weekend because they do all sorts of awesome Halloween stuff. It turned out his ex was going the same night as us. So of course she kept texting him telling her to meet up but my boyfriend said no and that he was with me. She didn't care and said it wasn't a problem to meet up since she no longer had feelings, which I believe was a lie. My boyfriend knew that it was upsetting me so he ignored he texts and luckily we never met up.
I think I'd rather my boyfriend be open and honest like he's been about telling me the attention he sometimes gets from girls. Not knowing would drive me crazy and always keep me wondering, so in a way I'm glad he feels comfortable enough to tell me what happens.
Thank you so much for your response. It was really encouraging to hear that you and your husband met at 18 and are still together. My boyfriend and I met when we were 17 and we know we're going to be with each other forever. So it was definitely nice to hear that a relationship started at the age really can last, it definitely gives me hope for the future :)
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Hi courtknee, I've been there too. The ex of my boyfriend keeps caling him before and tried to get him back. But he loves me so much and ignored her, he even said bum words for her to stop being a stupid biacth! Everything is fine now the bicth isn't doing crazy things now after my boyfriend insulted her to back off, he even told here shameless! She deserves that..
Well, in your case you boyfriend is maybe too hot to handle. And I hope he can make her stop..Try to approach the girl to stop..
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
He has the situation under control and he's told her how much he loves his current girlfriend (me) and how he's not breaking up just to go back to his ex. I'm pretty sure he's said some insulting things to her because she stopped calling. I think she's finally getting the picture. But I definitely wouldn't mind personally talking to her and telling her to back off and that she already had her chance with him and she blew it.
@trezege (66)
• South Africa
18 Aug 11
Do you realy trust your boyfriend that much? Be careful you don't get hurt. When someone tries to come between me and my partner I don't waist any time and confront the person, I also make sure that my partner does not entertain the person trying to come between us, if she does then I will rather let her go because it will seem her heart has fallen for someone else.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
I trust my boyfriend completely. He's been cheated on by his first real love and almost cheated on by his second girlfriend. He knows how awful it feels to get cheated on and he's promised himself that he's never going to do that to someone. If people get a little too friendly with him, he lets them know he's in a serious relationship with someone he really loves and cares about.
@shellani (61)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
LOVE is in the air..
You are so inlove! While reading your post you made me smile.
You are lucky that you have that kind of boyfriend, aside from being a heart rob(the way you portray him), it seems he is a loyal and trusted partner.
He sounds like a trophy boyfriend, do you consider yourself fit for him (no offense), because maybe her ex thinks of this way (they are more compatible or she is insecure to you so he wants his guy back.) Well, I think it's too late for her.
On your side, I suggest you should not initiate to do something about her ex girlfriend and that's what I also do. I just talk to my boyfriend and not to those people around that ruins our relationship. It's a matter of loyalty and trust. :D
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
19 Aug 11
Awww, thank you so much :) He's definitely loyal and I know that he'll do anything for me. I honestly think we're perfect for each other. We have a lot of things in common yet we both have our differences. We both have dirty blonde hair and literally the exact same shade of blue eyes. As soon as I met him I felt an instant connection and knew that this was someone I could be really good friends with. Now, he's my best friend as well as boyfriend and I can tell him anything and not get embarrassed.
I'm not going to start anything with his ex, she seems to have given up and finally realized that he's not going back to her. Even if she does try something, my boyfriend always tells me if she texts him and then he pretty much ignores her.
Trust is everything in our relationship. My boyfriend has come a long way because in his first real relationship he was cheated on many times before he finally ended it. Then, in his next relationship he caught the girl about to cheat on him. Then came our relationship. I could tell that his heart was broken because of that and I was determined to make it better and let him know he can trust a girl again. It took some time but I was really patient with him and now he trusts me more than anything. This makes me feel so good to have his complete trust. Not once do I have to worry about him because I know he would never cause that much pain to me because it happened to him and he knows how much it hurts.
So if anyone tries anything with him, he tells me straight away. It's minor little things and I usually don't worry too much, I just get annoyed at the girls more than anything. But if anything got to be too much, my boyfriend would handle it as he's done before, by saying he's already in a relationship with someone he loves.
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
You are so lucky that your boyfriend is trustworthy and won't do anything to hurt your feelings. There are lots of women like that, perhaps because the number of girls in our population is way bigger than boys. They are trying to steal somebody else's man because they can't find one for themselves. Just don't mind them as long as your boyfriend is not doing anything wrong.
@Kojigirl (188)
•
18 Aug 11
Actually, these days if someone wanted the hubby there's a very good chance I'd let her have him. She'd bring him back soon enough, I'm sure. Within a day, if not just a few hours. But I can see where you're coming from. You've got the problem because you have caught a good one. Now, if you were a bum-magnet, that would be a different story. I don't have any advice, as such, but did want to offer congratulations that you've not only landed one of the good fish in the sea, but that he doesn't seem to be in any hurry to get out of your net.
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
18 Aug 11
hi:)
dealing with boy-friend stealer is never a pleasant one, but even somebody wants to fill your shoes and try to steal or tease your boy-friend still it takes two to cheat, two very willing people, so no one could steal your boy-friend if he wont allow it, and you're lucky because you have a faithful boy-friend that love you and don't give in easily into temptation.
@astroversion (210)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Maybe most girls consider your boyfriend as a huge catch. You have every right to defend your relationship from others who are trying to ruin it. Just trust your guy, don't push him too much he will adore and love you more for it.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
Lol then I feel extra lucky for having a guy that other people think is as great as I do. There are sooo many times when my boyfriend has shown how loyal he is and I'm able to trust him one hundred percent. He truly is one of a kind and I'm so thankful to have him in my life. He even tells me when a girl tries to flirt with him, even if it's a coworker. He'll always start off those conversations with "Babe, you're gonna have to come beat this girl up" as a joke. I don't ever get mad at him when girls try and flirt, but I'll get slightly annoyed at the girls but my boyfriend always thinks it's cute and he doesn't mind because it shows that I truly care about us
@goggles213 (735)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I hope no one would try to attempt that. They'd see who I really am and it won't be pleasant. I trust my wife and all but I never trust those who tries to come between us, I will protect our relationship to my last breathe and people should respect their boundaries.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
18 Aug 11
You seem to be a lot like my boyfriend. He's not over protective but if someone seems to mess with me he'll stick up for me and will make sure nobody ever tries anything with me. Like you said, it's about protecting the relationship if someone tries to do anything to mess up the relationship.
@HeartROB (434)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Yeah it is really annoying that someone is bugging with the someone you like. But sometime it is good to know or flattering it is that that someone you like is really that attractive and knowing the fact that he or she is really that in to you, that just feels so good. On the other hand, if that someone that you like is a PLAYER well that is a completely different story already. That will just get into my neves. Well i guesse in the end you just have to trust each other and continuously be inlove with each other. Stay open, but not that completely that will cause you harm, also guide your heart. Stay in love with each other my friend:))
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