would you try to save the relationship for your children

actually every situation is different, there is no right answer to this problem. if it helps the children to go, then go. if ther is some hope and love left on both sides, then of course stay.

i think thats right. its a very difficult issue, but if a marriage can be saved, then it is right to try and do it, but if it can't then its best to end it as painlessly as possible. the trouble is i think that the marriages that most need to end are the ones that have the messiest ending. which is a problem, but conflict between parents is very damaging for children. the real problem is that that conflict spills over into the divorce, and the children get used as weapons, and horrible stuff like that. i think people need a lot more help, through relationship counselling, when marriages get into difficulty.

A child needs both of the parents, but it depends a lot on the situation. When the two don't want to stay together anymore, but there is not so much tension, they can remain together just for the children's sake. But if they fight all the time and cannot bear each other then it is better for them to split and reach an agreement over children.

I agree with you. it's really wrong to stay in a relationship for the sake of the children. But there are couples who have done this, staying in the same house but the relationship is just like housemates. Love is out of the question already. There are ways to avoid fighting in front of the kids. I would like to share this with you. It's about a relationship that almost ended. This couple agreed to separate but because of their youngest child it did not push through. Though love is already gone they still live in the same house with their youngest child. The remedy is sleeping in different rooms. The wife plays a great role for this for not minding what the husband do. Whenever he goes home late at night as if nothing happened. No asking where or whatever, so no quarrel at all. I don't really know if this is really good.

I think that staying in an unhealthy relationship for the children only does more harm than good. The child should not have to go through hell simply because the parents want the child to have both parents. If the relationship is healthy and the parents stay together simply for the children then they too are unhappy in some sort of way. I would only stay in a relationship that makes everyone in the family happy, including the children.

In my opinion, yes it is very wrong, in a relationship in wish you do not want to be with the other person, you will be very miserable. Kids know more than what you may think, they will notice sooner or later and it may damage their mentality of a healthy relationship, which may cause problems problems for them in the future.

As a parent we always want the best for our children and we always would anything and everything for them. If the saving the relationship would do them more good,then i'll try to save the relationship. But if sticking with spouse would do more harm to them,then I'll definitely not gonna save the relationship.

When you enter in a relationship and started to have a family your life doesn't revolve only with you and your spouse. There are other lives which would definitely be affected and these are your kids' lives. Before you go into that you have to think that things might change in the process because you are two different people. And when you get married first of all you have a commitment. It is not just a simple paper that you sign and tear it off if things are not working out. Fighting is part of a relationship but you always have a choice to continue to fight or to discuss things. It happens when couple forgets to listen to each other anymore and started to push only the things that they wanted individually. In other words it is selfishness which is trying to ruin the family. But to be honest with you I had that kind of thoughts before too. Things had been rough and I had replayed on my mind several times about leaving my husband. And there was one incident that we were fighting and I threw the bag of my husband and my daughter saw it. She cried and shouted to us to stop fighting and she was 4 years old then. She never forgot that incident up to this time and she is 7 now. She would always remind me of how I threw the bag and how we fought before. From then on we have committed that if there would be any disagreement which would arise in the future we would never fight in front of the children. That commitment lessened the fighting even if we are not with them. We both have realized that these children cling on to us, look up on us, and we are their examples as we are their parents. How can we teach them how to love, care and respect if we can't even do it ourselves. When a couple breaks up it doesn't only affect 2 people here. It could ruin and break your children and the damage could have a long effect or permanent. And if you will ask me now if I'll stay in a relationship for the sake of my children? My answer is yes, I will stay and I will do my best to save it for the sake of them. Because they are my family, my life and they are the purpose why I exist in this world.

As for my opinion, because I experience trying to save my marriage for the sake of my son. It is really hard if you and your spouse is not going well. It is painful when you see some undesirable stuffs within your eyes. When you know your partner is not in love with you anymore and he has another party already. It is painful trying to be numb and deaf for the sake of your son. It is living like a hell. But like myself I was able to end that relationship because I need to love myself more. And I know my son will understand one day why I ended it. Maybe if by any means the relationship can't be save and the house is no longer a home I think it is time to move on and live separately.

It might be wrong for parents to stay together, but for most parents the interest of the child comes first. What if seperation will have a far more worse implication, for example the financial welbeing of the kids might be affected. Parents also need to dicide who will take the kids if the is a seperation and will the person manage to take care of the kids? So it's not that easy.

It might be wrong, but for many parents the interest of the child comes first. Even if couple are fighting they might stick together because if the seperate it can have much worse implication for the kids, e.g the financial welbeing of the kids might be affected. You also need to ask the question who will the children stay with if the is seperation, and will they be well off. It's difficult but sometimes you have to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of your kids.

It might be wrong, but for any parent they interest of the child comes first. Even though couple may be fighting, but they might stay together to protect the welbeing of the kids, in terms for example finance and other issues that will affect the kids if they is a seperation.I would personally sacrifice my happiness for the welbeing of my children, after most parents live for their children.

hi:) i would like to say that if the relationship is hurting them , eventually,the kids will be affected too,so if the kids can already understand the situation, better yet explain it to them, because it's useless to stay in an abusive relationship.

Yes. Worth trying to save your relationship for the kids. If it doesn't work then maybe both of you can compromise like staying friends or maybe treat each other civilly and in time your kids can adapt into their parents situation.

Well first of all, you don't have to fight all the time. Yes, if you are choosing to fight all the time, then yes being separate is better for children. But.... you don't HAVE TO fight all the time. You can choose to SHUT UP, and not fight. If you are a husband, and your wife does something that makes you mad.... SHUT UP, and go outside be quiet. If you are a wife, and your husband does something to make you mad... SHUT UP... and do something else. When your spouse raises his, or her, voice... SHUT UP. You are not a slave... you can make a mental choice to not have a fight. You can do something amazing, and choose to keep your mouth shut. If you choose to scream and yell in front your kids, you, AND ONLY YOU, are making that choice. Because the facts are, divorce is devastating to children. Divorce RUINS children. I can't count the number of messed up people I've met, and divorce parents is always in the background. And abusive step parents, and blended family disputes, torn between too homes. Divorce.... **RUINS**.... kids. So, no... I have an extremely high respect for the parents who for the sake of their kids, choose to keep the family intact even though they don't care for each other, or there some problem. And I have ZERO respect for the wife or husband, that because they are too selfish to live in peace with their spouse, cuts and runs like a pathetic pansy. They don't deserve respect. I hope they die lonely and miserable, like the pain they inflicted on their children.

You should try to save a relationship if it is what you and your partner both want. doing it for the children will only be a cover for your true feelings. Nobody should remain in a relationship if it is not beneficial to everyone. it will only cause bitterness and regret at some point.

I agree. But you can't really never tell unless you're caught up in a situation like this. If that might happen to my family, I'd try my best to save my relationship with my child's father as hard as I could. But if all else fail then we should move on. I came from a broken home and it really did affect seeing my dad and mom fight without understanding it as I grow up. Eventually I began to understand things in life and I can't blame them. We all just have to think that everything always happens for a reason. We have to ask God for all the problems that may come.

I would... in the first place we are married, trying again will not harm especially when we have kids. No matter how kids say it is okey or will be okey for them... in the secret part of their heart, kids will want their separated parents to make up again. No kid would want to have his family broken. If it was me, I will try again, especially if my husband also want to give it a try...

I think it would be better for the kids if parents just break up.You can't continue a relationship if you're not happy.Plus,if there's alot of fighting in the relationship that will be very traumatic for the kids.

no! don't fool anybody, all of you will suffer.. separate in a nice way, talk and discuss what are the reasons with the kids.. in the long run they will understand you.