please help me,my bestfriend is a mistress!

What you're in now is a disaster waiting to happen and when it does you'll be caught in the middle. If you're not comfortable with what you're in then you can tell your friend and avoid them when they're together. The main reason why they want you around is for them to feel that what they're doing is right, somehow this lessens the guilt they feel every time they the think of their respective families. The kind of relationship they have is always being frowned upon by other people but with you around it makes them feel that it is somehow acceptable. I am not in the position to judge the relationship they're in but in most cases someone will eventually get hurt they may not realize that now or they choose to be blinded by the happiness they're feeling at the moment but as long as they don't break free from each of their relationship then someone is gonna get hurt in the process and I'm afraid its always the women whose always at the losing end.

I think you are doing the right thing. You must advice your friend about the consequences of their action and it will adversely effect on their kids. I think you must be in your stand and tell don't call me for to support your affair and you must understand that you are doing for the goodness of your friend. She will understand one day and wait for that moment. If it happens so please don't tease her it will further effects to her life. Good luck

It's up to you if you apply the common phrases for a friend "Wherever you will be happy, I'm here to support you" I know it's hard to decide if the person involve is the one whom you considered a part of your life which is your best friend. If it is against your conscience better don't support here and keep away yourself from the wrong doings she did. I think I knew her and several history already happened to her life. I am confused why she let his life ruin by making an appear to a married men. Why she is not coming to me which as of now I am single. If you want to receive a percentage share of his sin keep away from her wrong doings but still consider her as your best friend. Meaning, if she want you to be around while they are making an appear better to keep away your self. If ever they were caught you will not partake the mistakes.

I think she gets security she needed in you, that is why she always wants you around. She knows your presence in their affair limits simple mistakes she can make since 'I think' she don't trust the guy that much. On the other hand, she is making you as a cover up for their affair. She knows that no one will suspect this relationship if you are around. And if anything goes wrong, they will defend themselves using you as a witness. Its better you stand on your words and tell them you are not part of their game. In fact I suggest you tell them both.

hi churchill, i dont mean to sound negative but to call her a mistress doesnt really sound nice specially coming from the bestfriend... i have a friend who once did the same. i talked it out with her but i never insisted my opinions on her. i stayed with her as a friend but during her days of confusion, i distanced myself from her. i let her decide on her own but i was asking everyone around her how she was doing. when she decided finally to end the situation, i never said anything that would make her feel bad. she learned her lesson all along so i dont think i still need to add to all the hurt she's been through. there's no way you can actually make her stop. all she can ever think of at this time is herself and how she feels happy with how things are going for her.you can just talk things out with her and how all of it affects you. she might not listen to advices, but she will certainly appreciate you listening to her.

It confuses me. She is your best friend whatever she does or what she is doing. So maybe you should always remember this. But you think that thing is not a good thing. You can tell her but you can't help her choose. She have her own life and she is an adult now. So you can just give her some advice. You don't like being with them. You should tell her frankly. You should tell her what you feel. That's very important.

Dear Churchill, I appreciate your concern about your friend. Life is fully mystery and unpredicable. Therefore she should not use you as cover up. You better tell her point blank that you do not find any justification in her behaviour and request her to keep you out of this episode that she is enacting at present. This way you protect yourself so that your relationship with your best friend always maintained.

churchill1980, I hope that you will remember that God came for the sinners and not the perfects and as such, you should be compassionate for your friend where she is answerable for her actions. I hate to say that extra marital affairs are here to stay and we cannot stop them from happening. Also, the reasons for their appearance are just as many and unfathomable. Your best friend must have had a lot to handle with her marriage and its breakdown is certainly not one sided. I think for her, her separation indicates that it is already beyond recovery and as such, she is probably jumping onto this karmic relationship with reason(s) only known to her. Had she not considered her consequences? Is she unaware that she might even loose her entire share of matrimonial assets if her infidelity could be proven? I am sure, that she's fully aware or if she isn't, then as her best friend I believe you should have a person to person talk. It isn't really damnable to be in their company, and I am wondering if the Divine actually has a purpose for you. You could always bring out certain realistic topics for the both of them to consider e.g. what happens when the guy's wife discovers their affair? What's their future when he decides that he could not leave his wife for her? What about the children? Sometimes, people just like to live for the moment that they forgot that they are still on ground zero. Perhaps, you can be their wake up call and start thinking for themselves.

i see that you are stuck with this lie. it's hard to be a cover up. you knew everything and this makes you helpless. why don't you have a serious talk with your best friend? have you ever tried confronting her about you being annoyed because she made you somewhat like a cover up? confront her in the nicest way possible. i know you would because you are her best friend. maybe your friend needs your guidance too. try talking to her a lot about her situation. maybe she just need a little more reprimands from a friend. i know later on she would realize her mistake. just be there always for her maybe she was just looking for the love she didn't find from her husband.