Monsters In-Laws:Can you avoid them?

We get married with the man or the woman of our dreams and not with the in laws. I also have in laws who are high standard and I admit that they did not want me at first. But me and my husband love each other and decided to live with it no matter what. As a bride, I did my best to change how they think of me and change their fears that I am not a good bride. Now, everything is fine between us. In laws can't love us like their own children, but it does not matter. As long as I am not doing anything wrong, I am loving them as like my own parents and I don't ask them to love me back in the same degree. I love my husband and I am happy with him. I am also happy with my inlaws. I can say that it is just normal for some in laws to not want a bride or a groom at first. It is a normal reaction of a mother who feel that his son or daughter is being taken away and her place is taken by a stranger. I think it is just first impression, eventually it change over time when they get to know the bride or the groom.

Just always remind yourself that you're marrying your husband or wife not your in laws. Yes, you have to interact with them but at the end of the day it's the relationship between the couple that matters and not with the in laws. If you happen to have a monster in law then all you have to do is live as far away from them to avoid friction and that would solve the problem. You may not love them but it doesn't mean you can't be civil.

You are marrying their daughter or son, not entire family. Good parents always know to stay away from the business of their married children. And if a parent is always overriding decision of an adult person you intend to marry and the person says nothing and appears helpless, then you are dealing with a very dependent person and should be careful; unless that is what you are looking for.

Clearly, the undercurrents in such a situation are annoying. A monster in law may do these things because no one else in the family has given her limitations. So, she becomes an overbearing "oppressor." Maybe she does not even understand how indiscreet and controlling she is. To her it may just “affection." If that is the case, maybe a personal talk will clear the air. If she does realize what she is doing and does it on purpose even after she has been asked to break, then there is nothing that you are going to be able to do to change that.

It's hard to avoid in laws, especially mothers-in-law, unless they live far away from us. If they live really close to us, they'll most probably be over almost all of the time. Like my friend's mother-in-law, they get into arguments often and that's because they live together. It's also hard for her husband because he wouldn't want to side either of them. One of my friend's mother-in-law would often get into my friend's home whenever she wanted to, just because she had the keys to the house. One of my friends said, it's just better to try to be nice and probably they'll do the same.

I think that too many people have found their selves in this predicament. Dealing with in-laws can sometimes get a little sticky. Some can be controlling and will rudely butt into your personal business or pushing their own personal opinions onto you. You may even find yourself having to deal with in-laws that disrespect your spouse. No matter what the case, I am afraid that their is no getting away. When you get married, you have to respect your spouses family. Yes... even if they are hard to deal with!

yep monster in-laws sound the best name for them at times, even when they do mean well and only want to help. my ex mother in-law, was ok when i didn't see her that often. But if she came and helped clean my house she usually got under my feet with it and i would get a bit annoyed. I think it's more when they are consistally there not giving you any space and letting you live your life that we all get a annoyed at them. Sometimes it might be better to live a few hours away from them, like my new potential in-laws do. So we dont see them that often, but they are really nice people. Then i'm not sure what my partner thinks of my parents, but they are happy to help us, but dont come round to my place very much evern thou i live 8km away.

I do not think you can avoid them. I think they can makes life harder. I also believe that if healthy boundries are set upfront and inforced, it will make life go a lot smoother. Some mother in-laws just do not know what is ok and what isn't. I have heard stories of some MIL's just showing up and coming into the house without their son or DIL being home and snooping around and picking up after them because she feels that they are her kids still. Of the MIL's who feels like the DIL is her compitition. I think this is extreme though. I think that most MIL's just want to feel like they are loved and not loosing their children to the other person. I think life is easier when the MIL knows that this will not happen. I think when that doesn't happen is when the MIL's get crazy.