Hard Day

it is very true. We should never have to cope by ourselves, but when someone needs to talk the need to use the resources they have available. Usually it is people that they hardly know that will sit and listen, and sometimes that is all the is needed. I know I just need to express my feelings somewhere and have a good cry where no one is going to be judgemental. Unfortunately the people I know need to always have the last word. I like to be able to express my feelings and leave it at that, or talk about it and see different perspectives, being why I started a discussion here about it.

I am so sorry for your loss.... Yes i have not been around the people like that for awhile now. Spending more time doingg things that i use to but seemed to lose them along the way. Today my son and i went to the library something we use to do all the time now got it into a weekly routine. Sounds like my son wants to go every other day, so we spent all afternoon when we god home reading.

Hiya LJ, Oh I see they need to have the last word in it all. That is not going to do you much good at the moment when all you need is to let go and rest your nerves as well. Actually that is what happened to me in a way except although they wanted the last word in everything they wanted the last word in things that were nothing to do with my loss at the time. I would seek out the company of different People than them for a long while till things gradually get less painful for you as they are only going to jangle your state of nerves even more. Give you an example. I lost a premature Baby Girl she would be twenty two by now I think and the only thing they did was to put me right next to the Premature Babies Unit where they were crying all the time for four Days can you imagine? Ages later when I explained this to a Staff Nurse how I felt at that time she said Sue I don´t know how you coped as I lost a Baby Girl too and I would have gone bonkers ages ago. Why did´nt they take you out of there? I said well I tried explaining it to them and it was like talking to someone from a different Planet they looked at you goggle eyed. The things is you see none of those Nurses or Women had aver lost a Baby like that and could not possibly know what I was feeling inside the emotional pain was awful. I was so relieved to get out of the Hospital Doors and go Home and have a good cry and take it from there and I did. They would not let me cry while I was in there so the tension built and built up and overflowed but with no one around I was so much more at ease. This Staff Nurse said she suffered exactly the same feelings so I felt I was not on my own. I did not want anyone to say I was a brave Girl I just wanted to stop listening to the crying of the Babies. Its awful because you have not got your own Baby and you are seeing everyone else give birth healthy Babies. This was in Spain. Happily they have now woken up and realized that this kind of case needs better handling and this is recognized as a big problem and not something you can just sweep underneath the Carpet. In that sense I can know how you feel you see the same as that Staff Nurse understood me completely she said that she felt strange with the very Doctors and Nurses she had known for years as they changed their attitude towards her when it happened to her. Thank God when I got out of there and got back to normal which and be only with the People that were not going to judge or say see I told you so. I know that you cannot avoid them altogether but sometimes its better to be with others on neutral ground if you can be that is. I am way over that now but it took me a long long time to get over it completely. She was only twenty weeks when I lost her and their mentality towards premature Babies of that age well was lets say different quite unbelievable really considering this Day and age.xxx

thank-you for your kind words. Today has been a month exactly, and it is a good day. I am happy, feel free-spirited, made plans for the weekend. Being happy the way he wanted me to be!!!! Moving on, making the best of every day.

I always do, whenever I feel lost or misplaced I ask him for guidance.

That's the spirit my friend. Keep it up! Never forget to ask for God's help to help you go through the loss.

That is pretty much what I keep telling myself. He would want me happy... lets be happy... that is what he wanted. Each day that comes and he plays a role in my heart and mind seem to be getting less and less upsetting but more happy because I remember how happy we were, and that is the level of happiness that I need to maintain, and reach for more.

that made me laugh, but regardless it is true, it does not help to keep things in, just makes the situation worse.

Yep. So when you feel something that wants to go out, no matter how stinky it is, please let it out.

gotta say that this is probably one of the best responses ever to my posts. Made me laugh.

Thank-you for the wishes. Very true.

Thank-you viju0410, everything is easier said than done, but end all to be all it gets done. Thank-you for the prayers, and everyday is a new day, and a new adventure. Today is a good one, new progress, and strength, sometimes all it takes is just to get something out that is on the mind! :)

Keep your thoughts lively they will guide you through all the hazels. Yes, everyday is a new day and we have new goals to achieve..best wishes

stary1, its a matter that I know how it is to feel that way, and I feel a need to help people threw things I have already overcame, I like to help even if I do not know the person because sometimes a neutral party that knows nothing about the person or the persons life or who is involved, and just needs someone to listen to them is sometimes the best help to receive.

cowgirl03051979 I am sorry aout what you are going through. I seems we all have very hard challenges and it's just a mystery as to why we have to go through them. ljames...how vey thoughtful of you to offer your help during your own time of sorrow

I think it is good to be vocal about everything, it helps process and copeing with things that have happened.

yes, everything happens for a reason, and there is always good that comes from it, all a matter of perspective. I can say that after sharing it here I felt better, my social circle would have been completely different because of the circumstances.

you are correct sanjay91422,memories should not be completely sad, but happy because they do make us who we are today, and who we will become tomorrow, all of lifes lessons.