I miss driving

@rosdimy (3926)
Malaysia
September 16, 2011 6:07am CST
i miss driving. A stroke last May made me incapable of driving. The basic action of unlatching the handbrake is beyond me. Gone are the days of being independent in travelling from one place to another. I am unable to perform my duty as a father. Most of the time I am stuck at home. Has any of you been in a similar situation? Any suggestion on how to effectively overcome the problem?
2 people like this
10 responses
@gelayagui98 (1336)
• Australia
16 Sep 11
I am sorry to hear from you the stroke that caused you not fit to drive this time but don't lost hope because regular therapy can fit you drive again just strong determination and patient is what you need to overcome your problem. The most powerful of all...do not forget to seek for our Almighty God to guide you at all times so that you fulfill your dreams to drive again and to do your duties to your family. God bless you my friend....
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 11
I carry out my own exercises. I think it is better than not doing anything at all, and allowing wasting of the muscles. My wife has a licence but she does not want to drive. Five of our children can drive, but they are either working or studying somewhere else.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 11
Thanks. I may need regular and consistent therapy, something which I am not getting at the moment though it was promised to me. Maybe I am insignificant in their eyes. I think my determination is strong enough to overcome minor obstacles. Hopefully the day is around the corner.
1 person likes this
• Australia
17 Sep 11
Hi rosdimy, I salute you for your strong determination to overcome your situation, my friend start your therapy the sooner possible because the veins or the damage part is still easy to recover than make it later its more harder for your recovery. I want you to know i just finished my driving lesson a week ago and its really fun and exciting, I/we can go anywhere we want to go with my kids now. Its really depressing when you want to go somewhere and no drivers available so I really take the courage to learn proper driving and I did not tell it to my hubby I just informed him when I already finished my lesson. So my friend start your therapy now and I'm sure next month you can drive again. Good luck my friend and may God bless you more.....
• India
16 Sep 11
Wont be upset and sad these days will go off and again you will be. Just keep your confidence level and trust on god he will make everything ok as before trust him
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
16 Sep 11
Thanks. I was made to understand that the majority of stroke victims will eventually recover to almost what they were. I hope it is true, and pray to God that I do not have to wait long for it to happen. At times I feel helpless because there are things that I want to do but am unable to do so.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
17 Sep 11
Well, see there, rosdimy, you're already further along than you think. Keep praying and believing. Just don't pray for patience! God is good, and gives us what we ask for. The only way to give us patience is to give us trials to overcome. I will pray for you. What things would you like to be able to do? Picture them in your mind. Picture yourself doing them, too. You have to keep believing that this is a temporary situation and that you will be able to recover fully. Your faith and determination will get you through this.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 11
Creative visualisation. A powerful method of using the mind for self-improvement. It may work in this case.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Sep 11
So sorry that you have become invalid due to your recent stroke. My aunt also suffered stroke and she recovered well to be able to walk again. She went for regular foot massage. Hope yours is not too serious and could return to normalcy with regular exercise and medications.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
16 Sep 11
Thanks. I suffered a haemorrhagic stroke. There was a 3 cm x 1 cm blood clot in my right brain. I was able to walk three days after being warded. I cannot afford to have regular massage. I try to keep to an exercise routine but due to certain circumstances it is an uphill task.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
17 Sep 11
It is ridiculous what stuff like thatherapies cost, isn't it? Have you no one who could learn the necessary massage techniques? You could make a game out of it with the kids. They love to feel like they are helping. Have you researched it online? I bet you could find some ideas for using things around the house as equipment. What is it that you need messaged? If you have a small child, and you need message on your back, you could try sitting on the floor in front of a couch and letting him/her lightly "tap dance" around your back. If it is your feet, you might be able to use frozen bottles of water to roll under your feet. It may sound strange, but these things worked for me. If the purpose of massage is to improve cirulation, then these things may help you, too.
@4mymak (1793)
• Malaysia
21 Sep 11
i am sorry to hear about your condition.. it may have its setbacks - but i guess we still need to be thankful that we are still alive.. u should not say that u unable to perform u duties as a father.. u shouldnot think of yourself any less than you were before - u are still there for the family - and to me, that is really important - i am sure your family esp. the children feels the same.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 11
I am grateful that i am still alive. There are certain family issues which which complicate the issue. Nevertheless I do hope that things will eventually sort themselves out.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
13 Feb 12
hello rosdimy I was checking on discussions that I have responded to and came across your's. I wanted to check in with you and see how far you have progressed. So, please give us all an update on what's been going on with you during the last 5 months.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
17 Sep 11
I am sorry that you have suffered a stroke. It has had to be a tough battle. I would not like to lose my abilities and freedoms as you have. What duties as a father are you unable to perform? You may not be able to do some of the physical activities you once did, but you still possess the greatest, most important element needed to make you a good father. You still love your child(ren). I have not had a stroke, but have been temporarily incapcitated several times due to surgeries, so I understand to at least some extent your anxiety over the situation.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 11
Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I do love my children, but love alone is not enough to my wife. I used to send my kids to, and pick them up from, school. I have missed many school functions.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
19 Sep 11
I am sorry that your wife is apparently less than understanding about things. I am sure that she is having a hard time adjusting to the added chores, and may be she is feeling overwhelmed by things, but she did marry you "in sickness and in health, for better and for worse." Your children realize and know in their hearts that you are missing school functions because you have no choice and not because you don't want to be there. Keep praying and maintaining your faith in God. He will get you through this tough and painful time.
• China
18 Sep 11
Stroke often happened in past few years in my village. The villager doubted it must be related to ground water quality due to recently environment polluting. The leaders and the villagers together collected money to build up a pure water processing factory which support pure water for all villagers. it seems work. In recent years, no stroke case happened again in my village. I don't know what to cause your stroke. Later,you should be more careful.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
18 Sep 11
As far as I know there are many causes which can lead to a stroke. Pure water seems to clear the body of toxins, which cause the body system to malfunction. Pushing the body to, or exceeding its limits also invites problems. I am keeping a fairly close watch over what I do.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 11
I am very sorry to hear that you are no longer able to drive a car. I hope therefore that you live close to a train station or a bus stop. If not I know a taxi all the time is way too expensive. I managed to pass my practical driving test last year so therefore I am now able to drive my car where I need to go. In the past I used to cycle on my bike, go by bus and on trains. So disabled people in my home country use past of their disability living allowance to go a car. It can be specially altered for him or her. For example having just leg controls and only one hand control. I saw a documentary about a dwarf lady and she got a special car that she is able to use. Maybe you could do something similar to be able to drive again. If not you will wait until you are better. Good luck.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
16 Sep 11
Thanks. It looks like I will have to wait until I get better. My disability is not considered to be permanent, so some officers said I am not eligible for any aid. Some said I should get temporary aid. I am trying to get something because I am not working.
• United States
16 Sep 11
Im sorry to hear about the stroke and i see they takea big affect on people like yourself and usually after they they cant perform things to there best and sometimes there body goes numb and little things like that as well. Its really sad and im sorry once again. Im not sure what you can do to overcome this but stay positive and enjoy the littler things in life that you are still alive and have kids to enjoy life with.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 11
Thanks. The medication that I am on have unwanted side effects. For example both Coversyl and Amlodipine affect the legs, influencing my posture,balance, and the way I walk. I have lost count the number of times I lost my balance and fell down. To a certain extent I am glad I am still alive.
• India
17 Sep 11
sorry to hear that first, but don't lose your confidence and be self motivated, my suggestion is go for a ride ask some one else to help you driving, may be you can sit near them or go to remote or less traffic area, you can try to drive. see if any provision can be made in the car to help you driving, that may help you, you can consult with a mechanic or some experts. All the best, everything will be fine, will pray god :)
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 11
Thanks for the suggestion. my main problem now is releasing the handbrake. Before this I could steer with only the left hand. I went to a masseur and now I have better control over the movements of my right arm.
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
16 Sep 11
driving is not very familiar to me I drove a car but then got pregnant and I do not have license. but I know from my husband when done within its offense and took the book had even finish the month. I know it is hard but not how. nice day!