Would you want to know who the other woman is... or not?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
September 20, 2011 3:19am CST
If say, your husband or bf cheated on you, and you found out about it?
Would you rather want to know who the other woman was? Would you even bother try to look her up, and she how she looked like, what's her name, what kind of a person she is... would you even ask your partner for the details or you prefer not to know?
5 people like this
27 responses
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
no. i would not do that. for me, she may partly has mistake but the one who is more at fault is the man. if i will try to know who she is, i would have the need to talk to her, and maybe hurl words at her, and i think it is not necessary. 
i will not deny i will be angry at her but as i said, it is my partner who erred more.
trying to know who the other woman is will just aggravate the situation, and my emotional situation, if that would be me. it is not beneficial for everybody.
but then again, if this happens, where my man cheated on me, there is nothing left to talk about, especially reconciliation. i will leave and forget about them.
i will not deny i will be angry at her but as i said, it is my partner who erred more.
trying to know who the other woman is will just aggravate the situation, and my emotional situation, if that would be me. it is not beneficial for everybody.
but then again, if this happens, where my man cheated on me, there is nothing left to talk about, especially reconciliation. i will leave and forget about them.3 people like this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
I did not want to know who the other woman was too, but then i guess i was forced to know her as she was really veryy persistent in making my life miserable. haha i just got to her facebook page, and how she is according to my ex's friend...and then since i knew her it did help as you have mentioned too... it helped me feel more confident about myself and that i know she is nothing compared to me!!! =)
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
thank you for your response, wow you sure have a different point of view from the majority of our mylot friends. most would want to know who the woman is, and you don't hehe
but of course your stand is a bit different because as you have said, you would be firm as to not accepting him back.
@vwilliams55 (117)
• United States
17 Sep 12
I first I thought no but when I found out how many women he cheated with and saw what they looked like, it help. I found out I was no where near the type of women he light. I was small they were very large. I was light they were very dark. They had light beards or sideburns. I don't have none of that stuff. I felt so stupid. In a way its good to know. Wish I would have known in the beginning I was never his type. Also most was on welfare. To each his own. It does not matter though. Not good to take him back.
1 person likes this
@animegirl334 (3263)
• United States
15 Jan 13
I woud stay away from both of them, my partner and the other woman. I think it's one of the worst feelings to be betrayed like that and unlike a crime where the criminal could be put in jail, there is no way to mediate this wrong. It is very painful and while I might love my partner very much, I would stay away from both of them and try to move past the situation.
1 person likes this
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
Hi there Chiyosan!
I think I would prefer to know who the woman is because if she is someone that you know, then you will know that she should not be trusted. I think that knowing the girl will also let you know if the girl knows that your husband is married or if your husband has been fooling the girl too.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
hi nanayangel. thank you so much. i guess it is pretty hard for me to look at my ex then but it would be rather more difficult to look at the other woman because she knew me and i know nothing about her except that she was the one my boyfriend cheated on me with.
I am glad though that i do not know her personally. i would have really been heartbroken to be betrayed by two people i trust.
@vwilliams55 (117)
• United States
21 Sep 11
No I would not want to know anything about the woman. I would be too hurt. I had been cheated on in the past and I did not ask but found out practically everything about each woman and it hurt me worst.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
oh yes, vwilliam. it is too painful. =( i have had such an experience. i was really hurt and i had to endure everything that woman had to put me through and she even wanted to see me, meet up and talk and all. i just cannot contain and sometimes it still haunts me. that woman's voice.. the images of what they could have been doing behind my back.
@NatashaBird (640)
•
20 Sep 11
I'd probably ask if it was someone i knew. If it wasn't then i'd probably ignore her and focus on my (ex)boyfriend since it wouldn't seem as personal. If it was someone I knew however then i would definitely want to know who is was since I would take it as an act against me.
Birdie -
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
16 Sep 12
oh wow this is really something i have been through.. the other woman was not someone i knew but then i guess it was really irrelevant, as the issue is the cheating act and not to whom (though it would have impact if the woman is someone you knew.)
i just remembered having talked with my ex other woman and she even asked me (do you know me?) the nerve. i just told her i do not need to know you, see you or even talk to you so stop wasting my time. you can both go to hell for all i care, we are not friends and so don't call me ever again. haha
@katrinapaz (2436)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
if ever myboyfriend will cheat on me then yes, i have to know who this girl is and what she did so that she can take my boyfriend away. i would stalk on her and ruin her life because she ruined mine too. i am making a revenge because they cheated on me and they lied to me and that is what hurts the most.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
17 Sep 12
he he i have known the other woman of my ex. i dare not want to see her anymore actually as i know i might not be able to control my feelings and actually lash out on her and make her borrow the face of a dog out of shame.. but then i know better and will just probably let her see me happy. :D
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
20 Sep 11
If my husband was cheating on me, I would definitely want to know who the other woman was. iwould not just stand by while she tried to steal my husband's attentions away from me. i would do everything i could to find out she was. I may not confront her but i would make my presence known.1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
thank you sender... not without a fight! i like that. we should not seat idly by and let the other woman steal away what is ours, where we put so much efforts, emotions, investments on.
that is the right attitude! no need to really confront her but to know who the enemy is would be a good thing to do.
@snowhybiscuis (1882)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
For me, I don't want to know about it. So that if I get to meet her in some situations, I would not have anything against her and she may end up to be a good friend. I mean, at least I can befriend her and I believe that usually, it's not entirely her fault. Before I had a bf who cheated on me. I'm not the type who would fight for my guy. Instead, I let go of him and bid him a happy life. Without negative thoughts on my end, I was able to move on without regrets in life.
Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@chiwasaki (4694)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
I don't have a husband yet but if that happens to me, then my answer is YES. I would like to know the name and how the other woman looks like. Basically everything regarding that woman. As much as possible, I want to understand why they cheated on me, though it is very painful.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
hi there chiwasaki, good to see your participation with the discussion.
i have been in the situation, and i guess to know all you could, to exhaust all information and to be able to link them together would help you understand how everything has happened, how it turned out to be.
i guess its more painful to NOT know, it is more hurtful to be with no idea what is going on and what went on...
thank you!
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
17 Sep 12
i would like to see her. i guess everyone feels this way. i mean if you are cheated on i guess you always are curious of how the person is. but sure i wouldnt ask my boyfriend how the girl looked like. im sure later on i would end up seeing him with her or something and find out. i wouldnt humiliate myself by asking him who she was or being after her as a detective. i would just leave him and wish not to see him ever again.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
23 Sep 12
i did not ask him how she is. i know he won't tell me, he will have reservations. the fact he hid and was able to lie to me about this... of course we know not one guy would admit to this... and so i got around and has used my resourcefulness and then that is how i got to know who the other woman was. i sure am relieved a bit that she nothing like me. no, oh. i know and well it sure does let me know somehow why he is coming back to me. haha oh well enough of that now, though because now... i know im sure about myself and there is nothing to be insecure about.
@mathgadiano (166)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
the best to do is try to know who's the other because if you don't there will be times the you where thinking about that person, that person might know you while your partner is cheating on you.
@FarahJane1011 (180)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
Aside from curiosity, i think it is best to know WHO. It's always better to know who is your competitor. We can use it, we can mirror ourselves to her then ask what make him to this, what is wrong or what is lacking why our husband or bf decided to have a relationship with other woman.
In that way, we can always find solutions, how to get back what is rightfully ours.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
thank you for your answer, though it is right to know who the competitor is, ithink i will not mirror someone just because my partner has took a liking to her. i think though that it is always good to choose to make ourselves better than the other woman, of course.
=) thank you...
@eseulhan (199)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
Of course! I would want to know who the other woman is. Im very interested about knowing who she is, what she looks like, what's her character, what does she have that i dont, what does she have over me. Well,im not being a fierce gf here is just that i would be so hurt to be taken for granted just to go with some1 else. I really hate guys who cheat on me, thats why im choosing carefully whom i will love.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
21 Sep 11
it is rather hard to know from the first onset of the relationship if they will be cheating on us. but then, taking precautions is necessary too, still will never know... =(
but as you said it is of course necessary to know who the other woman is. so we are not left blindly.
@shanemae (1025)
• Philippines
20 Sep 11
hm.. i would want to know the other woman. well as the curious being i would want to know how she looks like, how she behaves and find out what could have been the things that my partner sees in her that is not with me. of course i would try to compare i have failed the relationship because he has look on other girls so i think that could be a knowing self stage for me and to be comparing myself with her. also for a change to a better me if i should do this or that the next time i will have another relationship so.. much more on the positive side. first i would try to find out what could have been wrong with me rather than putting up a fight.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Sep 11
even if i was in that situation, i will not let her see the other woman.
i guess my wife will not also like to know more about her and it could be enough for my wife that i returned to her for good.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hi neil, oh i hope you would not put your wife in this situation. as a woman and as someone who was cheated on, i could not even bear to say how hurtful it was and how shattering it is to discover your parner is cheating on you. she would definitely want to know, she would ask, and even try to see what's lost in her that was in this woman... and all those sort of things.
@churchill1980 (764)
• Philippines
22 Sep 11
while it is true that what you don't know won't hurt you, i still prefer to know who the woman is. like the lyrics of a song "broken vow" goes, i need to know the name and see the face of the very reason why my husband commit infidelity. personally for me, it would be easier to understand, accept and move on if i know the reason why i get hurt. of course i will also ask my partner some details about the woman, it is to make things clear. a lot of questions will come up if that will happen and i want those questions to be answered. it may sound useless to some, and will only add up the baggage, but it is the most soothing way to cure the pain. curiosity will always be there, how come my husband was attracted to the girl, what really happened, when was their relationship started, i need to know all of this. it will be a great help to solve the problem if it is still worth solving, or to move on and leave things on it's place, if i think i think that the mess is too huge to clean.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
that is quite an explanation chuchchill. :D i mean we can easily move past something when we know what it is that is weighing us down... slowing us down. we know what bothers us and so we know how to deal with the problem and that makes us easier to get ourselves out of it. :D most of the time though, if you are not yet married, it is really just best to walk away from it than to try and see if you can still trust your partner... it is not going to be easy. i doubt that...
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
oh nooo let us not compare ourselves with other women, because when we do we only demean ourselves. we are our own creation, and beauty and we are made for a purpose, unique in our own way. Your husband if this happens(God forbid) may have just taken the bite out of the temptation and so on...
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
6 May 12
I think it would be best not too. But since I am the person who never gives up on something I know I am rightful of having or knowing, so I would prefer to know 
. Even if it will hurt me, at least I know the decision my bf will make is right and that he never will regret his decision in the future. I love my bf so much so even if he has hurt me more, I will still love him and make sure he will be going into the right hands.
. Even if it will hurt me, at least I know the decision my bf will make is right and that he never will regret his decision in the future. I love my bf so much so even if he has hurt me more, I will still love him and make sure he will be going into the right hands.@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
15 Jan 13
hehe we always say that its best not to see and know the other woman, but that lack of information will kill our minds into thinking and will get our time and confuses us more. But like you said it will help you and you'd eventually want to know. :D
@fabsprecious (1565)
• United States
21 Sep 11
Knowing my curiousity and how obsessed I could get, I would probably want to know who the other person is. My mind wouldn't rest until I actually knew, especially if in my mind I believe it might be a friend or someone we personally knew. I also know that it would probably hurt more knowing, but I wouldn't be able to give it a rest until I knew.
