Has love any fence?
By bhanusb
@bhanusb (5709)
India
September 23, 2011 11:55am CST
My one friend loved his father's cousin. They were then young. The girl was younger than my friend. They wrote many love letters to each other. So far I know they had no physical contact. But they could not get married. Because our society does not allow such relationship. Aunt and nephew can't be get married. Here it is a social crime.
Is it it permissible in your society? Did they made crime or sin by loving each other?
Has love any fence ?
2 people like this
11 responses
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Sep 11
there are laws here that you cant marry blood relative. some states even dont allow cousins to marry. and its considered incest which is a sin also. but in kentucky, i have 2 cousins that married and had kids and they seem to be ok. mostly grown up now.
@prasanta (1948)
• India
23 Sep 11
I support your statement. But at one point I differ, there is nothing called sin. Do you know among Parsis (Prussians), if suitable candidates are not found even real brother and sister can marry! But all these rules in different religions and societies have come up because of the reason that children may (not always it is a strong probability)get affected. So, marriage is not objectionable but child birth is the main reason behind objection.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
24 Sep 11
Hi buny,
to love is not at all a sin. It is said, "love is divine". Love is a natural process too. In animal world brothers and sisters are becoming loving partners. In the early stage humans also like animals. But but by the process of civilization to make order in the society or clan many prohibition had been adopted.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
23 Sep 11
True love between these two people would have been no problem. However what you are discussing is physical attraction and for very good reason this is forbidden between close family members. When the gene pool is that close many terrible things can happen to the children born of such relationship. Even if it doens't show in the next generation it may in the following generations.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
24 Sep 11
Hi pat,you truly said love between these two young people had no problem.Two young man and woman become blind when they fall in love. They do not consider any argument. But we can not deny the social, religious and even medical doctrine regarding forbidding many things. Because these are based on practical experience.
But I feel for the two lovers.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
24 Sep 11
Sorry I should have been more clear, true love between people, means you put the needs and wants of the other person way ahead of your own. Knowing how difficult this relationship would be would take the option off the books, not either of them would wish the pain, and hardship caused by such a relationship on the other. That being said, they would know they could never be more then loving friends and look elsewhere for a mate. This would be true love between them. Mating for life involves physical love but also contains personal goals of each party not the selflessness of true love.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
24 Sep 11
Hi bhanu, when society laid down rules against what is known as incest, it was with regard to health reasons.Marriages within very close blood relations is genetically not healthy and it has been proven in many cases like in the Royal family of Egypt where Cleopatra was married to her brother and how insanity and other health related problems were prevalent among most such families where close marriages were practiced..
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
24 Sep 11
Bhanu, when an individual is born he is already bound by traditions and customs and grows within their boundaries.Mentally, his instincts get restricted because he has been taught by his surroundings, what is right and what is wrong, whether it is right and one has to adhere to it is again debatable..Having said that , I feel that love too goes through the same routine,if not we would have seen many more incestuous relationships.Everyone wants to have safe relationships that work and get accepted by the society instead of standing out like a sore thumb.Love, no doubt may stand up to many things, but that is because those two have no idea what they have to face...
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
Having blood relationship is really now acceptable my church or legal laws.
Even scientifically, having blood relationship will caused abnormalities with their kids.
So, it doesn't mean that love "knows no boundaries" they will cross all the limitations.
They should not think about themselves alone, but for their future kids as well.
have a good day
@prasanta (1948)
• India
23 Sep 11
Obviously, 'love knows no boundary.' When a man or woman is in passion, it is for his or her personal satisfaction. So, in the referred case, the nephew and aunt were supposed to get married or live together(without marriage) -- but with a promise of not begetting child. That was enough. Social o religious taboos are quite scientific to control birth of abnormal children. But nowadays with advancement of science, there are different methods of birth control. So, I feel, individual has no problem in falling in love within close relations.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
23 Sep 11
Officially it is allowed. It's only not allowed to get married in the 1st bloodline. So mother with son, father with daughter and brother with sister.
This also includes: stepbrother with stepsister or adoption brother with adoption sister (or versus step or adoptive parent).So even if there is no biological bloodline at all.
Personally I don't see the problem. There is no bigger change of having handicaped children if you are a healthy family.
Love has no fence althoug it's possible that if you are raised by what is allowed or not (by law or family or society). Personally I would not care, in that case I would move or emigrate and start a new life somewhere else.
Ps you write it is a social crime this is not the same as an official crime by law!
So this means it is allowed just like it is in so many other cultures/countries.
@prasanta (1948)
• India
23 Sep 11
I support your views. In fact the old laws need to be modified -- wherever they exist. But I object in giving birth because in South India I have seen several abnormal children as a result of marriage between maternal uncle and niece. However, in Maharashtram, although the marriage between cousins in quite common, abnormality rate is quite less.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
24 Sep 11
In the early young stage of life love is a deep emotion and feelings. It does not consider any argument or barrier. It is said 'love is divine'. If so they did not commit any crime or sin. They were only innocent lover. Really I have deep sympathy
for my friend and his beloved.
@silpatenneti (72)
• India
24 Sep 11
I my opinion love has no fences,because its an individual opinion,who loves whom.but society has kept some fences,who should marry whom.may be i guess our elders does't differentiate love and marriage are separate things,they think of only marriage,but this generation knows whats the difference between love and marriage,so this genaration can't comprimse to marry a person who they don't love.but parents or elders insists for their status and society.so i think the fences are between generation gaps.
@prasanta (1948)
• India
23 Sep 11
I personally feel there is nothing wrong (or so called sin), as long as they do not beget a child. Then also that is not a sin, but scientifically speaking the child may be defective on common probability. There are several people in such relationship in all countries of the world.
Even incest is prevalent in world and tha's why the term came to existence. But I repeat as per science, every such thing is fine as long as there is no child birth is involved. Let the people happily enjoy their lives, but do not put another life (child) in trouble by bringing him/her to the world.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
24 Sep 11
Hi prasanta,
When a young man and woman fall in love they do not think of having a child. They simply love each other. But by practical reason once their dream breaks and they fall from heaven to earth. Yes I agree with you for scientific reason close relations should not get married for the sake of future generation.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
23 Sep 11
In my country relationships between aunt and nephew or uncle and niece are legal. Relationships between (grand)father and daughter or (grand)mother and son or sister and brother are not allowed, but we have no restrictions about cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews and nieces. Those relationships are acceptable according to the law, but many people think that they they ought to be illegal.
I am not sure what to think about those relationshipa. You can't control love and in a way I think that those marriage should be legal. On the other hand it could be problematic if they decide to have children, because in some cases the children will be born with abnormalities.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
24 Sep 11
Hi Procospino,
your country is very liberal regarding marriage between close relations. Yes love can not be controlled. Because love is an emotional matter. I think for practical
reason close relations should not get married. Because no couples want their child
born with abnormalities. But love is above all arguments.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
23 Sep 11
If we follow our heart and if it is inlove there is no exception to the rule no barrier.. But we have rules to follow if we will base this on morality. Auntie and nephew is not a good idea to be a lover coz they have their blood relationship still. But if we will look to their heart there is no problem anyway. Only the matter is their blood relationship. And nothing more.
@Rick1950 (1575)
• Lima, Peru
24 Sep 11
It's possible but it won't be well seen. Yeah, love has fences. You can not get married with everyone you want. But this no happens everywhere. Now we can see weddings which many years ago were inimaginables.
@Ayeth22 (66)
• Philippines
24 Sep 11
bhanusb
Wow!.. that a story. i can't imagine they can stay together as a couple although they love each other but with the dignity and the reputation will not leaved them.
I know they can loved each other. How what do they the think what people surround them can say? Do you think they can live a harmonious together?. I don't think so the lady is young so the guy has the right to explain what is right and good. They can love any thousand guys but not one of her relatives. That's all thank you!..