My son's friend is a theif!

Hi ya GemmaR I have never allowed the child into my house and most certainly will not be in the near future either. He is 10 years old, he's know's right from wrong. I have some friend I could speak to who know the family well but I don't want to off my dilema onto them, that just isn't fair. I think she would accept that he had done it but I would mention anything about his influences on my son, she is a nice person and am amazed that her son is turning out in such a way - it's sad. Thanks

I feel for all of you. my adopted daughter was a shoplifter whose birth mother had taught her to steal. She was quite good at it. We had to keep an eagle eye on her in stores and still didn't always find out until she was home and had things she shouldn't. The we'd have to march her back to the store managers and make her apologize. She was so cute and shy looking they almost praised her for bringing things back. When she was about 12 we thought she was over it, but she got mad a me one day when she was bout 14. I and the two children were taking my son to soccer practice when we were rear-ended. I decided I'd better take my son for an X-Ray immediately, so we stopped at an urgent care center in a shopping center. My daughter got bored while we waited, and asked if she could go to Long's a few doors down. I said she could, so off she went. I assumed she'd be back soon, but she wasn't. I began to worry, and finally I told my son I'd be back soon and went to see what was up with my daughter. As soon as I walked in, my friend, who was the assisant manager, approached me and said she was really glad to see me. The manager had seem my daughter putting things in her purse and if my daughter had left the store, she would have been stopped. I immediately asked my daughter to open her purse, and a few unpurchased items were retrieved and she said she didn't know why she took them. I made her go return them to the manager and apologize. But this manager was different than the others and my daughter was now a teenager -- not a cute little girl. The manager read her the riot act while my daughter stood there like a statue with no expression at all, which was, of course, interpreted as she had no remorse. The manager told her never to enter the store again or she would be arrested for trespassing. It was a bad day all around. I think she was mad at me and wanted to embarrass me in front of my friend, or so she said later. She also said once she put the stuff in her purse, she didn't realize she could just take it out and put it back on the shelf and so she just froze. It was very discouraging for me, because I had thought I could trust her in stores again. It may be your son's acquaintance has had other times he has stolen from stores. Maybe his parents will want to know. But I think my approach would be to ask before telling. I'd ask the boy's mother if she would want to know if her son had been shoplifting. Then I'd decide what to do according to how she responds to the question. It's never fun to be the parent in this situation. I wish yiou well in whatever you decide to do.

That being the case then his mother needs to take care of the bullying situation too! There is no reason kids should worry about a bully. I would also tell her about that. Parents have no idea what their children do at school unless someone tells them. You could speak to the mother then speak to his teachers and apprise them of the situation telling them if anything happens then his mother needs to be told of the bullying. She needs to be told anyway, by the teacher!

Hi ya moondancer The trouble is as well is that this boy can be a bit of bully at school sometimes and I don't want to make trouble for my son at school either. I really don't know what to do. I am sure his mother would understand and would discipline him accordingly and I would hope that she wouldn't tell her son who had told her. Thanks

That's a very good idea. I am sure that the Police will be very happy to drop in and talk to the children. Better now than in a few years time!!!

I think that if I went to the police direct then they would want to know more and would probably make a home visit! I don't think that is necessary just yet. If I go to the school then they will have to keep my chat confidential but will also feel obliged to act upon it. That is what I am hoping anyway. Then if the same incodent arises after that then I will have to take further action myself I guess!

Hi ya p1kef1sh Tricky? Tell me about it. I have spoken with my son and explained to him of the consiquences of 'hanging out' with such a child and tried to explain the saying of being tarred with the same brush! I am contemplating contacting the school and suggesting that the local bobby pay a visit to the school to scare the kids a bit as I am sure this child is not the only one to do this. Cheers

Hi MaryLynn321 Yes I have explained to my son that by simply being with this boy could get himself into trouble. The fact that my son has actually told me about this incodent tells me that he is not happy with the situation and even said that he hoped the boy did get caught. I have told him that he mustn't hang out with this boy anymore and it is a small town so it wouldn't be long before someone would tell me if they had seen him with this boy. Thanks

Hi Hambug, It sounds like your son realizes that what this boy did was wrong. Ending a friendship sometimes is hard for kids to do. Hopefully your son realizes that if he still hangs around with this boy that he too could get in trouble. Good luck.

Hi ya allknowing The thing is though that if it were my son, as embarrassed as I would be, I would still want to know, I would appreciate that someone had told me. Thanks

Blood is thicker than water and the first thing a Mom would do is to defend and say that her son would never do such a thing, bla bla bla. I still feel you should have sufficient proof and then certainly approach the parents.

Hi there lizzd_96 and welcome to mylot Yes I am seriously considering doing this. Thanks

Hi ya Keola12 Yes I have thought about what if it were my son doing the stealing, I sure as heck would want someone to tell me what was going on so I could be seen to be doing something about it to. Thanks

Hi there irislee_24 To be honest I don't think it is the first time he has done it and I don't trust the child in my own home. I do care about the boy but worry that I will get a bit of attitude in return. I think I will have to sleep on this one a bit longer!! Thanks for your advice, I have taken it onboard

Hi there jaiho2009 Yes I agree with you this could be a possibility of misunderstanding and I really don't want to embarrass the mother at all. Thanks

Hi ya LetranKnight25 Yes I had a good talk to him about it when he told me. All the boys want to collect these cards and have more than another boy but I told my son that stealing them was most certainly not the way to get them! Thanks

Hi there stanley777 I think he is the type of child that will just say yeah yeah whatever but I do feel that I need to give him the chance to redeem himself. He has told my son that he has stopped and won't do it again but I don't believe him, I think he is just saying that so that it will get my son off his back! Thanks

Hi there nezavisima Yes I have already spoken to my son about it and he know's how wrong it is and that he could be in trouble if he is with the boy when he stealing. I also need courage to speak with his mother! Thanks

Hi ya writersolutions10 Oh my son is not doing it but I worry that he might be tempted if he continues to be friends with this boy. Thanks

Hi there piendsky4 Yes I think you are right in what you say about approachng both the mother and her son, she might not even believe me and I think about how I would feel if some approached my son and spoke to him about such a matter. Thanks

That was also a good idea. Hopefully they did something about it and not leave it alone.

Hi there 00fear As a parent myself I couldn't just leave it and would feel irresponsible by doing so, so I told the school about it and let them deal with it! Thanks

Hi ksherrie Well I spoke to the school about it and they said they would a local policeman in to chat to all the kids so the child won't feel like everyone is pointing the finger and the pressure was off me as I felt like I had done something. Thanks for your response

Hi ya dawny I have now informed the school so the burden is now off my shoulders and hasn't involded my son at all. I have told him to steer well clear of this boy now and as we live in a small town I will get to hear about it if he does!! Cheers

Hi ifa225 Well I have told the school now and have let them deal with it. Thanks

Hi there hwg Yes I think the parents would be annoyed if I spoke to their son and not informed them of what was going on. I really really don't want to embarrass them at all, that is not my intention and I really really don't want to embarrass myself either and be accused of making acusation that deem to be lies. I can't let it go, like you say if it was you wouldn't and I would definately want to know if it were my son. I wish I could do it annonymously hahhaa Thanks

Yes keeping up the communication with my own son is important to me and I know it bothered him what this boy had done as he told me about it the same day. I cannot stress enough to my son what the concequences of hanging out with this boy will bring to him. I don't really want the police on my doorstep either!!

I definitely see you point and probably best not to allow your son to be around this boy while not in school. Just wish the boy the best and hope that his parents get responsible and see what is before them. Keep the constant communication with your son explaining that he could potentially get in trouble because of this boys actions.

Hi ya Rosa26 In the end I spoke to the school about it and they are a huge influence and part of our childrens lives so thankfully it is all sorted now, phew. Thanks for your response