Would you marry the same person over again
By teenal
@teenal (1400)
Dublin, Ireland
October 1, 2011 7:47pm CST
Just wondering if many of us would marry the same again if we could go back.. for me the answer would be no. My partner developed lots of problems with drink a while into our marraige and I have spent my whole life trying to make it right.He never really dealt with any of the problems of his upbringing or his drinking. He did stop drinking after a seperation and then became very depressed so is now on meds which he feels helps but I dont.He lives in this little bubble and sees the world in his terms only with very litle understanding or empathy for anyone or anything.He needs to go to counselling but wont. He is a self centered bully and mostly I hate him. He thinks he can do no wrong and outward appearances show him to be a real nice guy but at home he is an insensitive person who only behaves normally when he can be seen to do so. I would leave at this stage but through the stress Ive lived with all my life I became very ill and am now stuck financially and physically in this nightmare. If I had the money I would leave him tomorrow and at least I could have some peace in my life but thats not an option. Looking back and having learned through counselling for my illness I genuinley feel that living with him so long gave me the illness I had and think I may have again. A stressfull unsupportive marraige can kill you. If Id known years ago what being married to him would be like Id have left.If I could afford to I still would even though Im quite unwell.Id rather be ill alone than with someone who almost makes me feel guilty I let him down by getting ill and being not as I was. I know some people have great marraiges and would love to be one of them and admire them. They are usually very fair people who compromise on everything and put the other person first. If you have a marraige like that I think you are very lucky.
4 people like this
10 responses
@abmacasinag (518)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
Yes to that. I will marry my husband over again. I have a very loving and caring husband, I'm just so lucky to have him as my partner in life. I think not all of us are lucky enough to find that right person. If you are no longer with your married life then why not leave him?
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
3 Jan 13
I'm glad to hear that both of you would marry your spouses again. That is a great thing. It really is something to treasure. It shows that you have a wonderful relationship. Keep working to keep it strong and to stay close. It will make a world of difference toward your personal and family happiness.
@gicylle (3)
• Philippines
3 Oct 11
YES!!!in a capital letter.Though my husband and I have many differences, I still marry him over and over again.We make it a point to hear the side of both of us to strengthen the misunderstandings we have.I could not think of anyone or somebody in particular that I could share my life with. To think that we have been gifted and lucky enough to have a bright and very respectful son.
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
2 Oct 11
I am sorry you feel trapped in your current situation. I don't know what to say other than you can talk to us here :0)
But as to your answer... I don't have an exact answer. I only dated my hubby really. So I'd say if I had more experience to make comparisons I could give you a better answer. But relationships and people change in time and it's hard to predict which direction things will go in til it's already headed that way.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
3 Jan 13
I understand what you mean. It really is hard to tell which way things are going to go in until we are ourselves heading that way. I knew that marriage is hard work,etc but I never imagined that my husband and I would ever have has many problems as we do now. We are working on things but I'm still not sure what the outcome will be. I know though that if I had to do things all over again or I could at least see how a person's personality might change over time I would not have married him. And I would have waited even longer to get married.
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
Hi teenal!
I'm sorry to hear that you're also one of those wives who wanted to leave their husbands, if only they could. Now I understand more what my friend told me that she and her hubby separated because she can no longer live with him. She told me she went for counseling and realized that she didn't give anytime for herself and now decided to love herself on her own,I think that's pretty much like your situation,only you haven't left your hubby.
I could say I have the man that is better than my ideal man teenal. Actually he doesn't possess anything about my ideal man which is handsome,white and tall but he is handsome inside and has a pure heart. His pride is always set aside whenever we fight,he's the water and I'm the fire,that's what we call each other,haha!
So if I am to marry my hubby again,I will definitely say YES again to him! I am missing him now teenal,he works abroad but we never fail to communicate almost everyday,he sees to it that he gives time for us even if he's tired from work already,he says seeing me takes away his tiredness.
So if I am to marry my hubby again,I will definitely say YES again to him! I am missing him now teenal,he works abroad but we never fail to communicate almost everyday,he sees to it that he gives time for us even if he's tired from work already,he says seeing me takes away his tiredness.2 people like this
@abatencila (970)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
Hi there!
So sad to hear your story but for me I will marry the same person because I think my husband is close to perfection. So kind, responsible and loving. Although he is not perfect, he has lot of good characteristics you would really love about him. I hope you will feel better soon. Maybe, your husband is getting through something.
So sad to hear your story but for me I will marry the same person because I think my husband is close to perfection. So kind, responsible and loving. Although he is not perfect, he has lot of good characteristics you would really love about him. I hope you will feel better soon. Maybe, your husband is getting through something.2 people like this
@rose1717 (190)
• United States
2 Oct 11
I am so sorry that you are in a marriage where you feel stuck. Your story breaks my heart that your husband is like that. You seen like a very nice person and you deserve to be treated better.
If I could go back 14 years ago and do it all over again, I would marry the same person again. We are best friends and still very much in love.
2 people like this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
2 Jan 13
I'm glad to hear that you would marry your husband again. That is a wonderful thing. Marriage partners should be best friends. They should strive to stay that way. It is not an easy thing to do. It takes work and effort but it can be done.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
4 Oct 11
I am very sorry to hear that you are in such an unhappy marriage. I personally love my husband. He isn't perfect and has flaws just like me, however we get along great for the most part. I honestly cannot see my life without him in it and it pains me to hear how little love there is in your relationship. I personally would talk with your husband about how you are feeling. Maybe if he knew what he was doing to you, things would change. If he is unwilling to change it might be time for you to do something about it. Get in touch with your counslor and let them know what is going on, they might be able to help you get out of the situation by giving you information on money and shelters available to women in your situation. I know that it might not be something that you want to face, but believe me it would be better than what you are going through right now. I hope that you find love and comfort in your life, and that things start to get better for you soon.
1 person likes this
@irislee_24 (102)
• Philippines
2 Oct 11
I hope you would be able to get out of your situation as soon as possible. Indeed it's unhealthy for you to be staying with him still, making your illness worse each day.
As for the topic, yes, I would marry him still. He's far from perfect but he makes me happy and I love him. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone else.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Oh i feel sad for you my friend. But then , your husband looks after you because you are ill.That's nice already.
Maybe he feels just tired caring for you, so you must talk to him about it so you could compromise on how to make it easy for the both of you.
But back to you question, yes, i would marry my husband again if ever we get to live another life. Of course, when that happens i would correct some of my shortcomings to him.
1 person likes this
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
3 Jan 13
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all of that. I understand what you mean though. I don't think that if I had the opportunity to do things all over again that I would marry him again. I feel as well that I'm stuck in this awful relationship and that I do not have the financial means to get out. That in itself is an awful feeling. I too admire those who have great marriages. Unfortunately my marriage is not one of those.
It will take a great deal of time and effort for it to get there. I hope that things will somehow get better for you. I hope that for all the women who are in such a marriage.
