"If I Could Take A Pill To End My Life I'd Do It." Words Of My Dad. :-(
By Janey1966
@Janey1966 (24170)
Carlisle, England
October 3, 2011 1:25pm CST
Mum has had a lot of bother with work lately but, fortunately, today that all got sorted out, so she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
However, she is FAR more worried about my Dad.
Dad has had problems with his legs for years. Sometimes they give way on him when he walks and it's now getting to the stage where he can't even sit down without being in agony. At one time he'd have good days and bad days, now EVERY day is a bad day.
He is on a Waiting List for a hip replacement but has been told the operation will happen when he's 80. Currently, he is 74 so, he clearly has a long way to go.
In the meantime Mum will ring the doctors up on his behalf to try and get some decent pain relief for him. All he has at the moment are PARACETAMOL and that's it. I know he doesn't get on with his doctor but paracetamol for pain like this is an insult.
My Mum will also tell reception what my Dad said to her last night regarding suicide. His own Dad committed suicide in the 60s so there is a history of it. Mum couldn't sleep as those words kept churning over and over in her head..and for him to even SAY it speaks volumes about how bad the pain really is.
Hopefully, this may get the ball rolling for improving my Dad's care, but it shouldn't have to be like this, the doctor should treat him properly (automatically) and with a bit more respect than he has been doing. There are other doctors based at the Medical Centre so it's likely he will be seeing someone else for his next appointment. With Mum having different hours at work now I should imagine she will make sure she goes with him. He needs support.
Why are people treated like this once they're over 70? It's not fair.
5 people like this
11 responses
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
4 Oct 11
I am wondering why all he could have is PARACETAMOL? Have you guys tried to get second or third opinion with other doctors? There are other stronger medicines around that would help alleviate the pain, there's no more happiness in life when even as you sit it's agony.
I know of people who have taken great lengths to at least have a little bit of happiness. It's not enough as a supportive family if the pain won't go away for at least a while. My dad has severe arthritis and is taking Diclofenac Diffenax, and his other colleagues go at length even to be injected with steroid for the pain of their joints.
I mean, why wait till he's 80, suffering like that daily for the next 6years isn't appealing to anyone at all. I too would rather die than to wake up each day feeling that way and can't even sleep properly because of the pain.
Go look for other medicines and doctors who might help with the pain. I tell you, family support may be important but if you let the person suffer more, that's not enough for him not to take his life.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
2 people like this
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
7 Oct 11
I understand what you're saying. Even here in the USA, the old people are treated horribly. I saw a special once about health care here in the U.S. There was this woman then was sent to the emergency room, she laid on a stretcher for a few hours, After a while, they found out she had no insurance, so they basically threw her out of the hospital. They showed her walking the streets very confused, like she didn't know where she was, almost got hit by a car. I find that to be a major shame. Because she had no medial insurance. Here in the U.S. it's all about the money.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
8 Oct 11
That is a sad story. What is wrong with the world these days. It just seems like they want the elderly to just die off quick. This should have been expected because people are living longer then before. At least he seems to be doing okay. It's just a shame.
@GardenGerty (161006)
• United States
4 Oct 11
They should not be treated this way. Maybe there is some reason he cannot take some other medications. If he will try some things like ginger and turmeric it may relieve some of the pain. I know the hip is really bad.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
4 Oct 11
Thanks for those recommendations GardenGerty, it's much appreciated. I've got those two ingredients as well (the ground versions of course) and I wish I could beam them to him a la Star Trek..but alas, I can't.
One thing's for sure though. After my Dad saying "those words" it has spurred MUM on to do something about this as it's gone on for far too long this being fobbed off lark.
3 people like this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
4 Oct 11
I agree. Hopefully, by the time I talk to Mum on the phone later, the pair of them have seen the doctor.
The reason why he is on a waiting-list is due to the fact the op would be on the NHS (National Health Service) therefore wouldn't cost him anything. This is what our National Insurance Contributions pay for. If he chose to go private he would move to the top of the list but the way he sees it; why should he pay twice? It would be an absolute fortune to have this operation privately so he's prepared to wait. Mind you, if the doctor sees he's in such a bad way that might help too, although he would have to be referred to some specialist at the hospital before an operation could be undertaken.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (161006)
• United States
4 Oct 11
I do not always understand how your health coverage works. I do not have any right now, though, and that is hard for people to understand. I hope he starts having some good days again. Perhaps some physical therapy?
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Oct 11
hi Janey thats often been what I asked too.seems like they feel if tyou are elderly you can just wait til they get good and ready to'give you a referral to a specialist your own primary doctor
had requested. but at least I was not in severe pain then.,Have
you or your mom thought about finding a pain control center where
they have doctors skilled in helping patiendts with severe pain?
I do not know if these are prevalenet where you are but I had a fri end here who had just such bad pain as she had congestive heart with a lot of severe pain. the pain control doctors helped her a lot
but she was her own worst enemy so now I do not know whats happened to her. but it seems a lot of older people do get some real help
from these centers.Iam 85 in November so I can attest we are treated differently than younger people a lot.but my own primary care doctor has been my doctor for many years and knows me pretty well.
Janey sometimes just a change in doctors can be wonderful as you can get one who seems to feel us old ones need decent care
too.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
4 Oct 11
Yes, I think a change in doctor may be a start. Fortunately, there is more than one doctor at the local Medical Centre. He doesn't drive anymore so it wouldn't be in his interests to change location, doctor-wise. Once that's been sorted I'm hoping he'll get referred to some specialist at the hospital. There is another Medical Centre that many people are referred to now (for various reasons) but there are no direct buses to it from where he lives. It's bad enough when he has to travel up there to get his feet sorted every few weeks. He has to take two buses, as no bus goes directly down that particular road. If this Medical Centre is mentioned Mum (if she goes with Dad to the docs) is likely to explode!
I shall keep you updated.
1 person likes this
@zoey7879 (3092)
• Quincy, Illinois
4 Oct 11
Why in the world is he being made to wait for so long?!
I'm sorry to hear that your father has had these thoughts... as someone who suffers from multiple health concerns including chronic pain.. I know on a very personal level where these thoughts come from. Doctors often start and continue with the little, piddly pain killers and anti-inflammitories as they are often the cheapest... and work from there.
I really dont understand making him wait 6 years?
I was told when I was just 28 that my knee would knee would be replaced, but suffer it as long as possible, because it would have to be replaced approximately every 10 years.
1 person likes this
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
4 Oct 11
Sorry to hear about your dad's situation. I'm not a doctor but I have a co-worker who is a registered nurse. Whenever she's in pain she takes "Tylenol" which is far more superior in easing the pain than paracetamol. Plus it also is a good sleeping medication. I have the bottle of medication now while I'm typing and I can see here that there is another name, the generic name perhaps- Acetaminophen Diphehydramine HCI. Ask your doctor if it will work better as a pain reliever. I hope it will help. We wish your dad better health.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
4 Oct 11
Well, I'm hopeful the doctor will prescribe something like this..and then refer him to a specialist so he can have his hip operation he definitely needs.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
4 Oct 11
I'm not sure why things happen like this either. I am so sorry for your mom and dad.
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
4 Oct 11
I'm hoping that by the time I speak to Mum on the phone later, that something has happened in a positive way, for my Dad.
One thing's for sure, he cannot carry on the way he is.
@shaggin (72289)
• United States
7 Oct 11
That is so heartbreaking. If I was in his shoes I would probably feel the same way. Depression is genetic and situational. Sounds like he may have one of the other or both and thats not good. I would be depressed if I was him as well. I cant imagine being in pain like that. Why in the world does he have to wait until he is 80 for a hip replacement if he is having so much pain right now? He very well might fall and break his hips if they arent replaced which would just be worse.
@marguicha (223885)
• Chile
9 Oct 11
I know what pain is and noone need to be in a terrible pain with the advances of medicine. Why don´t you search at internet to find an over the counter medicine that is better than Paracetamol? Paracetamol is an insult, as you say and besides it does a lot of harm to the liver if taken in a regular basis.
I hope you find something better (I know there are good pill to relieve pain). In my country there´s one called Celebra, but I don´t know if it´is the generic name.
@rmendoza123 (637)
• Philippines
4 Oct 11
I understand the pain and stress that your dad is feeling right now. All we can do is to pray for him, for his immediate recovery. Everything is possible if knock to HIM.
@AmritSandhu (9)
• India
4 Oct 11
This is very sad story. One should take out time for the most beloved ones, they should not be left alone when thy require someone special
