What's your first step of Letting Go?
@totallyundecided (3190)
Philippines
October 11, 2011 3:49am CST
Nothing is permanent in life except for Change. Regardless of how this will affect us in our day to to day living, in some ways, we always have to let it go whatever are the circumstances... May it be a failed relationship, a death of a loved one, a promotion you didn't get, you failed an important exam and many, many situations we have to deal with everyday in our lives.
Today, I feel so disappointed over a help that I have expected. Due to a lot of us are suffering from Then 3 days later, she told me over a text message that she can no longer help me because she also had a personal crisis and needs to be resolved right away. I was very disappointed with it but what can I do? She may have really need something to settle it. And the first thing I felt was to convince to accept that I need to deal with it and I have to be strong so that I can solve this problem right away.
How about you my lotters? What's your first step in letting go and how do you deal with it after?
3 people like this
19 responses
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
12 Oct 11
Hi TU, I wish there were more details into your post but of course I know you have the right to keep it private. Whatever it is you're going through right now, I pray it will be resolved.
Just recently, I also received an email from my Uncle who committed to support me financially for my application abroad. I was really expecting that he understood fully how much I needed but on his last email, it was apparent that he thought I only needed half of it. Long story and probably I wasn't very clear on my details but the bottomline is, this had me feeling really anxious. Where on earth am I going to get half of the entire amount. We're speaking of 5 zeros. :(
I am not on a letting-go phase yet. I would say i'm on the wait-and-see, hanging, hoping...stage.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Hi, TA. I am very excited for you. And I pray and really, really pray that you'll make it abroad. And hey, I hope you wont forget your friends here in Mylot.
Good luck, dear. I am very happy for you. Have faith in God and I know you will receive the help that you need.
@Theresaaiza (10487)
• Australia
14 Oct 11
I'm keeping a positive outlook on everything because worrying won't get me anywhere. I know you'll be happy for me and thanks for that so much TU! I also pray that you'll be able to find solution to your problems.
@marie_cuizon (191)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
For me, acceptance is the first step of letting go. I have experienced betrayal, disappointments, and some negative circumstamces in life. I deal all of it by accepting first the fact that it happened to me and from then on, i try do to some adjustments to lighten up my feeling or to turn it into a constructive thing. I mean, i always make it a point that i learned something from that experience. And I find it quite effective. :-)
1 person likes this
@jomarie2011 (48)
• Sweden
11 Oct 11
I do agree with what you said.. Before you can actually let go of a person, you have to accept first that he or she is not in your life anymore, then you can be angry after than once you have accepted, then later on you will learn how to move on and let go.. :))))
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Acceptance is the hardest to absorb. Even the most ideal person may find it hard to be friends with Acceptance but that's all we have in order to move on.
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Hi, simply. Yes, my friend. It also shows that you're a good sport when it comes to things that don't go agree with what you want as a result.
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
14 Oct 11
That's because we should not bear grudge with one another. When we ask for help we should also try to consider the person's availability and capacity to help.
I think, had she not have a pressing personal matter to attend to, she would have continued helping you.
@vivamir (671)
•
11 Oct 11
Hi totallyundecided..
Sorry to hear that you have a unresolved issue that someone was meant to help you with and turned out that they were unable to.. I think being let down is something we need to be able to accept at times- as like you said its apart of 'Change'.. however I strongly believe the first step to being able to 'let go' is acceptance..
Once we accept the problem, I think we are able to deal with the emotions that follow, whether this be: anger, sadness etc.. from this stage we are then able to decide how we want to move on- making us more cautious as to landing into these kind of situations in the future, its apart of learning the trends of life hey...*this is just one of the ways that I deal with situations*
I do hope all works out for you, and much luck for you in the future.. (",)
1 person likes this
@conquer2012 (324)
• China
12 Oct 11
it is surely right that nothing in life is permanent except changes. what you should do is to adapt yourself to the new situations and learn to depend on yourself. As we know, God helps those who help themselves. when you take all things into a full consideration, you will find that you yourself are the real hero and man of yourself.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
YEs, conquer. Just like your handle, we must embrace and conquer the changes in our life. For we will always find beauty in it.
@criticalman (65)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
My first step in letting go is to have no contact with the other party involved. This may sound crazy but it is the most counter-intuitive thing to do. You'll see later why. Then a reassessment of myself. I assess my self-worth, self-esteem and my purpose in this life. I reflect. I get a boost of confidence from this as I realize many things about myself and things to be corrrected for myself. I also do activities that involve physical, emotional and mental aspects so that I don't think about that person since I am totally distracted. I just learn to be happy with myself.
1 person likes this
@criticalman (65)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
Sorry for repeated post, bad connection. Something's wrong with the site
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Yes, reassuring yourself is one of the best methods in letting go. Reassuring that it's not the end of the world and it's a phase one must go through in order to learn about life.
Very well said, critical man. =)
@derek_a (10873)
•
12 Oct 11
In my mind, life is a process of completion, letting go and moving on. We all become attached to things and people and they are definitely not in our lives forever.
As a Zen practitioner, I practice daily meditation and this supports letting go and living more for the moment of now. But there are times, when it is difficult to let go and it takes some working out. _Derek
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5876)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Yup, you did the right thing, dear, ACCEPT that things sometime can go wrong and unfavorable.
1 person likes this
@globaldoc (858)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
I used to be someone who just could not let go. I remember having my first love leaving school. 5 years after, I still could not let go. After which, I learned something. I learned to train myself to control my emotions. The first thing I did was look around for other prospects. There, I put a new challenge for myself, that I should find someone who would replace her.
1 person likes this
@gr8jordan (43)
• China
11 Oct 11
First of all, I want to say that I totally understand the situation you picture.I always come accross this kind of things.The most recent example,my little brother has a quallar with me,as a result,he cast my PC away and the pc became pieces.I am so sad. I bought the pc when i am a college student.I cant afford it so i did some parttime jobs.But now it is gone.By now i still mad at my brother,why he always broke something i cherish.Yeah,people may say,what a big deal,just a computer,let go.But i have spent so much time with it,which just like a E-pet of my personal.Letting go is really a hard thing for me om this matter.However,if i dont let it go,is there anything i can do?Time will help me maybe.
So let go is not enough,move on.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
Hi, gr8jordan. Other people might not understand the sentimentality that brings one material things to us because they have no idea about the story.
I am very attached to the materials things that I have because a lot of them is a product of my savings, salary and some are given by special friends. So i really take care of them a lot. My mother almost threw one handkerchief that has been written with lots of "see you soon" notes from my classmates during high school and until now, it's still here. She mistook it as 'garbage' but I am glad she asked me before she could throw it away or else, it might be the root of our misunderstanding. LOL
@modeofevasion (86)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
I also think acceptance is the first step.
Acknowledging that the 'situation' happened to you is only a half-step, though. You should also accept the fact that the situation happens to everybody at certain times. It helps that you don't blame yourself by being weak, or whatsoever. It may also help you realize it's not the other person's fault either. It just happens. By doing so, you are helping yourself to not dwell into that 'situation', and hence, you let go sooner.
1 person likes this
@writersolutions10 (497)
• India
11 Oct 11
I won't let go anything easily and need to be more careful selected a thing.. i won't take it for leaving it..
@ardoy0731 (7308)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
Acceptance and forgiveness.
Move on.
You can let go of someone or something if you keep holding on it to the extent that it already hurting you more.
Just like the song "Art of Letting Go"
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Oct 11
Well, I think that the most important thing that people can do when they have to let go of something that has happened in their life is that they have to accept whatever it is that has happened to you.
For me, a friend of mine unexpectedly passed away earlier this week and it was something that really hit me very hard because of the fact that she was someone that I loved and that my children loved as well.
Well, I have accepted that she is gone and just from accepting that, I've already started to heal.
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
14 Oct 11
Helps are not really helping unless it's been done. When things are in the form of words, that's just a hope to make us feel better, feel glad. However when help fails to turn up, disappointment kicks in and it's worse than before. That's the reason i don't want to ask for help whenever possible. IT's easy to expect, difficult to let go. It's even harder to get back on our feet because we have been left disappointed. With that, i have no choice but to depend solely on myself, working harder to get out of the predicament.
@criticalman (65)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
My first step in letting go is to have no contact with the other party involved. This may sound crazy but it is the most counter-intuitive thing to do. You'll see later why. Then a reassessment of myself. I assess my self-worth, self-esteem and my purpose in this life. I reflect. I get a boost of confidence from this as I realize many things about myself and things to be corrrected for myself. I also do activities that involve physical, emotional and mental aspects so that I don't think about that person since I am totally distracted. I just learn to be happy with myself.
@criticalman (65)
• Philippines
11 Oct 11
My first step in letting go is to have no contact with the other party involved. This may sound crazy but it is the most counter-intuitive thing to do. You'll see later why. Then a reassessment of myself. I assess my self-worth, self-esteem and my purpose in this life. I reflect. I get a boost of confidence from this as I realize many things about myself and things to be corrrected for myself. I also do activities that involve physical, emotional and mental aspects so that I don't think about that person since I am totally distracted. I just learn to be happy with myself.