How do you heal a brokenheart?
By enelym001
@enelym001 (8322)
Philippines
October 24, 2011 8:26pm CST
Just a question that pops in my head when I heard this old song playing on the radio this morning. And it follows with the song Is It Over? Wow, I have been thinking of breaking up with my boyfriend this morning but I just don't know how to start. Coz I know he would not accept it.. he already told me before that I am the only girl he would love, and if I break up with him he would no longer love anyone else. But I feel there is no point in waiting for him anymore, I feel we just can't be together and our relationship just don't work anymore :( I feel the pain of breaking up coz I do love him but I just don't want to be in pain anymore waiting for him this long.
I guess anyone can heal a brokenheart, it is just hard to start over again. How do you heal a brokenheart? Have you been heartbroken? Or are you the heart breaker?
1 person likes this
12 responses
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
26 Oct 11
The heart is a clay molding. Sure, you shape it and help it harden by protecting it; but if it's the wrong shape, you either have to break it or 'humidify' it (put it in wet heat).
It sounds like you want to try the humidify-way; get him into hot situations with your single friends. Soon either he'll see that he's not meant to be with you, or you'll see that he's not meant to be with anybody but you and you'll work to mold yourselves together again.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
30 Oct 11
You're looking at it wrong; the human brain can't understand 'negatives'---you try to make it understand 'you are not supposed to be with me,' it hears and KNOWS 'you ARE supposed to be with me.'
That's why you have to give him a positive option: not 'me or not me,' but "me or her/your-job/your-hobbies/everything-good-about-the-world" (start with the 'other girlfriend' option, which gets him away from you without anyone really "losing"; then get 'jealous' of the time he spends with things other than you--up to- and including his family--and eventually he'll get 'sick of you.')
Alternatively, you COULD take yourself away from him by devoting yourself to pining over that single boy in Oklahoma City who gives such good advice
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
hmmm I guess you got it right, mythociate. I actually want him to see and realize that we aren't meant to be. I just don't know when or if he will realize it.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
Well I have this to him many times - but he's refusing. And because I am tired talking about breaking up for him to just reject it, I then try to make him realize and feel that things are really not the same. And that I am losing interest. But he keeps ignoring it and going on as normal. We are so miles apart, and maybe it's the reason why he seems to not take my words and actions so seriously. He is usually busy at work and his whole time was with his job. So I have actually given him the freedom to work all his life, and I started not to bug him anymore. He likes it when I use to get angry with him before, because he feels that I really love him. Now I quit, I sms him very very seldom, only when he was asking something.
So you're the single guy from Oklahoma errr... or you're neighbor? Haha! He might be like my guy, too.
1 person likes this
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
25 Oct 11
I have been in love and had my heart broken. Along time ago! I found out the only way for me to get over a broken heart was time. Everyone is different and everyone heals differently. For me it was time. A long time! I had to realize alot of stuff and work on myself before my heart was over being broken!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
5 Nov 11
Really... so I should expect it to be waaaay tooo long for me too
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
Right, time heals all wounds... so how long was that for you? just curious...
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
5 Nov 11
Only with time. Of course that for example if we lost the person if we learn something that it's unforgivable about this person it might help us to love this person less and hate a little bit.
But the real breakups, not meant to be can only be cured by time. And believe me, time cures everything. It cured my most impossible pains, not one or two, many.
Happy MyLotting!
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
Hi katie!
Hmmm well yeah I guess I have to believe that only time can heal our hearts that has been broken. Happy mylotting too katie!
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
29 Oct 11
I try to go another place and try to forget him.Maybe it's a good way for both of us.Anyway,we could have new start if we end up old relationships.The person who can really help us is ourselves,so just think about it calmly,we would all go through this step.Have a nice day.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
What about if you are also concern about his reaction on this, what if he said he wouldn't want you to go and forget him? And you still care for him?
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Oh,how to heal the broken heart is to to laugh ,smile think positve,forge the happening,think those happy moments in the past of your friends,family ..So sometimes it is hard to over come ,but you have to becausee if not ,the pain will no let it go.
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
Oh thank you also, i am sure you do it to spent with your family and friends around..Hope you are fine and thank you..
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Hi befriendwithme, Thanks for the nice advise. This is what I am actually doing now. Spending time with my family and talking about funny things, playing with my dogs, This helps a lot forgetting thoughts about him.
@Shavkat (140119)
• Philippines
11 Aug 12
Sacrificing is the hardest to endure, the love will be detest to wait for a reason. It will be painful, if there is no security of what had said and promised. I still believe in waiting for a reason, than nothing to wait.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Aug 12
Hi Shavkat,
I broke up with him finally 7 months ago... it's hard and really painful but I do believe what I did is just right, rather than continuously wait for him. There were good enough reasons I considered before I finally came up with that decision. And right now, I don't regret what I did.
@chiyosan (30183)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Why do you want to break up with him for the reason on not wanting to wait for him? why don't you want to talk to him about this thing that is bothering you. He loves you and you love the person too, why are you not willing to wait anymore, that only you can answer.
Are you talking about him not proposing to you, or are there promises made and not yet done? Do tell which are the issues and i hope you both can fix it, afterall you still love each other.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Wow you threw me really tough questions to answers. I don't really know what to say and how to answer it. Somehow you got it, proposal and promises are involve.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
25 Oct 11
My heart already been torn into pieces through several failure relationship, some wasn't relationship at all. Most of them involve with money, out of my stupidity. I try not to think it over again, and I trying to get rid of my memory of those unhappiness. I wish that I can start all over again like a clean slate.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Oh that was all so sad, kingparker. I'm pretty sure you can start it all over again, hope you'll find someone better soon
@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
26 Oct 11
Is very difficult to say the true when we know we will cause pain to that person, but it better to say t than to be with that person just for compassion I think he doesn't wants that.
So the best advises that I can give you about that are:
Don't hold in your emotional pain. Studies show that expressing emotions greatly reduces the body's stress response.
Don't put a time limit on your grief. And don't let others set one for you either.
Make sure you tend to your physical needs. Softness, warmth and touch can be healing.
Don't ignore chronic aches or pains. Check in with your physician.
Eat well, making sure you choose healthy foods to keep you nourished during difficult times.
Keep a routine sleep schedule. If you require medication to help you with sleeping, modulating your moods or for cardiac management, don't feel ashamed. You're going through a significantly stressful time.
A broken heart leaves many people feeling stunned and stuck. Move. Get out of bed. Take a shower. Go for a walk. Feel the sun on your face.
If you feel fragile, limit your exposure to emotionally driven events. That doesn't mean to cocoon yourself away from people. Decide what social connections will give you support, and which ones may be too taxing.
Don't forget your spiritual side. Prayer, even meditation if you're not one for religion, can bring comfort to a broken heart.
Consider seeking a mental health professional if you need help healing from your broken heart.
And yes my heart have been broken sometimes, but I came back recover my strenthg.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
30 Oct 11
Thanks Rosa for all your good advises
Good to know that you have recovered from being broken too.
@benwang (93)
• China
25 Oct 11
The best way to heal the brokenheart is to start another relationship with the one you love.
Although this saying seems more superficial, it is telling the truth.
Time will ease the pain and along with the time passing by, one will finally find another one and fall in love with.
How you one heal the brokenheart? Time will tell.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
It's always easier said than done. I keep telling myself I have to go leave the relationship... but I don't why am I still in it.
@JLStine91 (47)
•
27 Oct 11
Hi it's me again, no not really me trying to replace or to mend your broken heart ..but the reason why i'm here is to tell you something about your calamansi! wow! it works a lot! calamansi is really good for the skin! :) ............ smile again..
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
hahahaha You should have commented on the other thread but thanks for making me smile...
@bb_gabs (205)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
If you think, breaking up with him will make both of you free and a lot more happier, then let it be. Breaking up is very hard specially if you know that you still love the person, but if you love that person in the wrong time, and in a wrong place, i think, it is not worth it. It will just make you suffer. Because, I believe that, if a person really love you, he/she will do everything, and anything to be with you. There is no way to heal a broken heart but to let the time heal it, time heal all wounds, just open your heart, don't close it. Enjoy being single, don't look for another love to heal your broken heart, for love is like a thief in the night, it comes when you least expect it. ^_^
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
I don't think both of us will be happy. I will be free but I still think I'd regret it. It's really sad I can't make up my mind on this.