how do you handle breakups and the pain it gives?

If they are 5 years together they might have very much mutual understanding between them. Here you did not mentioned the reason behind there breakup. I think they must sit together and talk once to make relation again. Hope they will have good time...

Hello churchill! I know it's not really easy cope up a long-year relationship that ended up unexpectedly. However, your friend should take the positive side of it. For me acceptance is the first step of coping up a broken relationship. Once your friend accepted the fact that they are not meant for each other, then she can courageously pursue her life without her ex-bf's presence. She might have a lot of questions why it happened but later on she will gradually realize why it happened. And of course, prayer, for me this is the ulitmate source of man's strength. She can lift up to God all her pains and sorrows and cry it out. For sure, she will feel God's healing touch after it. Your friend is not alone in this situation. Some people's experience are even worse than what she had. I've been to it also and i thank God for lifting me up by the time i was being left behind by the man whom i loved so much. Thus, I know she can make it too. :-)

If she is a very close friend, then tell her beforehand and go and see her.Spend some time with her; plan an outing or a visit to a park or a restaurant or a coffee shop that she would prefer. If she has a valid reason she will soon get over it especially if she has initiated the break up.If seh does not want to meet you and says that she prefers it this way , it is her choice. Each individual has different methods of dealing with her pain.

how to handle pain is very difficult because the pain is terrible and very painful. pain is not easily forgotten and it's very difficult. more so than love always hurts and it is easy to forget. should we forget the man with time to think about why it happened so. can not see because his eyes are seen at least in my mind. I can only wish success to those who are injured and forget the pain quickly and enjoy life because of pain and without pain, he continued. I enjoyed this discussion, my congratulations. nice day!

hi there churchill! wow! 5 years is too long to end up that bad. what could have your friend done that she? or did the boy broke up with her? well, if i am in her situation then it is my fault then probably i would do that too. or maybe not. maybe i would just cry my heart out and fix things with the guy. if i am not the one at fault then i won't do that i have to move on. i still have the right to love and live after that heartbreak though.

I always believe that everything happens for a reason, a good reason. breaking up with someone who you have shared your life for 5 years is difficult- it takes time, and a lot effort before you can heal. it is painful when someone leaves or breaks up with you let alone if it was for another person it makes it worse. whenever bad things happen to us, we feel devastated and we wanted to shut the world behind us instead of trying to pick up the pieces until we are whole again. why don't we do it another way and think- what lesson does this situation teach me, it means that we should acknowledge and assess what went wrong. why the relationship failed. then, she must decide if she is going to stand up or just stay in pain. should she decide to make changes in herself I am sure that someone better will come to her door. In my younger days, I have experienced this and i thought that I was going to die of pain but family, friends were a great help and I have decided and set my mind that I'll be better the next time I will fall in love. true enough, the reason why my heart was broken because someone is going to help me make it whole again. I have learned a painful lesson at that time but it was all worth it! tell her that pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice. I wish her well...

I think I am familiar this friend of yours. She did again what she did before on her several BF. It's not easy to move on if the situation still new. Let the time heal as the saying said. It's so annoying to think about the situation but life is not perfect and every individual experience those things that maybe at the beginning of their relationship they never think it will happened at the end.

Hi, This may be a late reply but based on your post, I guess what your friend did is perfectly normal. If she just broke up with her boyfriend when she did those stuff you mentioned (deactivating her social-networking accounts and destroying her mobile phone, etc.), her course of action is perfectly understanble. She's at the peak of her emotions and when we're emotionally stressed there are things we can't help but do. She needs time for herself to heal those wounds she's having at the moment of break up. Being in a 5-year relationship is not a joke. Surely, the pain she's going through is more than she thinks she can take. If staying out reach through social-networking sites and through mobile phone would help then she should choose that option. I'm sure she'll eventually get by. Everyone does get by after each break up. There's always a rainbow after the rain. She just have to be strong for herself. She'll eventually find a better man for her one day. Happy mylotting! :D

By sitting down and crying, that actually happened just once, when I break up I'm sure of what I'm doing but that time he was like an addiction, and he was actually not love, I think we had some problems from a previous life or something, we preatty much had a hard time to get away from each other and there was some bad feelings that came out of nowhere although he done nothing to me in this life to deserve that. I cried and waited. I know time heals everything. It was the longest 6 months of my life but after that, wich I almost got sick, literally, I looked back and asked "What the hell did I see in him?" So indeed time cures everything. Just don't give into despair when pain knocks our door, that's the key. Accept, learn and then we can let go. Happy MyLotting, have a wonderful day!

As a friends, there is really nothing that you can say that will make it better. Saying negative stuff about the ex boyfriend might be the first in mind but that does not really do anything. Just be there for her. Make her feel like you will be there if she wants to open up about the break up.

hi, actually this is the most painful part of our love life,breakups and the pain we feel,the things i do when this happen to me,i usually have more bonding time with my friends and family so somehow the feeling inside i feel gradually begone.

Oh, it is not really that difficult. I rest on something else, and since it is already a break up, there is nothing that I can do anymore. I always remember that there should be respect, and if I respect that person enough, I would acknowledge that it is better for that person to be away from me. If it is meant for us to be together, then, time is going to fix that anyway. I always look into the future, adn it is the future that holds substance, and the past is just a part of the memories that will be kept in my mind. However. if the break up is with someone who owes me money, then that is a different story...

Hi! OUCH! It's never easy to handle a break up--especially those that had so much potential. When I was going through a break up, I would have a good cry and just keep myself busy afterwards. When I felt steady enough, was there a class or a project I had been meaning to do? For me it was a good way to heal rather than doing something that was self-destructive. Does she like to bake, knit, etc.? She will need you to be there and to be patient with her. Take the time to listen and try to respond as best as possible. :-) Best of luck!

well your friend has recently gone through a break up which is a very difficult situation to deal in.i don;t think cutting yourself socially is going to be of any help to her.in place if she tries to be more social now,and hang out more with friends,i am sure the lonely feeling and the pain will wash away quickly. i know reality is a bit bitter then what i wrote here.nothing would certainly take away the entire pain of breakup.you can only try to be of help to her to lend a shoulder to let her shed her tears.

I went through a similar situation last year when I broke up with my boyfriend of six years. It took a few months for me to be able to cope with the pain. My only advise is to leave your friend be. Yes, you can always let her know that you are there if she needs someone to hang out with. But it will be up to her to say that she is over the pain this breakup has caused. In my case, I focused on myself, my job and my family. Time will heal all wounds, but only when you say that it has healed.

yes. i would break off anything i had from my former relationship. it would be too hurtful to have anything around that would remind me of him. this is how your friend wants to deal with this breakup. give her time and space, she will move forward to someone who really loves her and she really loves him.

I have read on one of your response that the reason is that there is a third party on the part of the boyfriend. If that is the case, he is not worth it. Your friend must accept the situation and move on. She must take what happened as a blessing. Imagine if she did not discover about the third party then after getting married discover it, it will be harder for her to deal with it. It is his lost not hers so why shut down her world because of him. She is entitled to grieve because she also invested time and emotions to the relationship. She needs to cry it out then after that she go on with her life and be better than before. She must take it as a lesson... as part of life. Hope your friend recovers soon...

I have never been in this situation and the fact is i can't be because i am single. But the pain i have been through is lot for me and i don't want anymore. I have many friends who use to breakups and patchups in no time. So i have vast experience all over this. So i just want to say is first find out the reason why they broke-up. After that if you feel it's your friends fault than try to advise her that she is wrong and she need to talk to him and if the guy is wrong then i guess it's the time to forget him. A guy who has been with her from past 5 years can't do mistakes which she can't afford. Then it's your time and it's all your job to make her happy. Make her feel good. Tell her if that guy is not with her, so what, you all friends are there for her forever. Make her hangout with you, take her for movies, make her feel that life is still there to live. After this the key line which i always follow is, "Don't cry for those who don't deserves your tears". Make her explain this thing. That don't cry for the person who don't deserves your tears. Atleast cry for those who will feel guilty to make you cry and deserves your tears. This is the only way we can handle the pain of breakups. And no one in this whole world other than you or some other friends of her can make this happen. Only friends can do this no one else.

it sounds like your friend is better off without her boyfriend and that they are better to go their separate ways. it does sound a little extreme that your friend has deactivated all her accounts and destroyed her mobile. relationships can be very painful but in the fullness of time she will realize that there is somebody for her out there that is better. Important thing for her to do is make sure she has the support of all of her family and friends and keep caring for her.

not so long ago, when I was in college, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. I was in deep pain and for a few days I had no idea on how to deal with it. I cried and cried. I would lie in bed and just try to sleep my sorrow away. I hadn't eaten in days. Good thing, my friends were there for me. They wouldn't let me sleep or leave the house without so much as food in my stomach. they would sometimes force the food in my mouth. They also tried to cheer me up. they were my shoulders to cry on. we would go out and party all night. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, break ups are painful. There's no shortcuts to it. But it's not permanent. I'm not sure if the pain ever does go away or we just learn to live with it. Based on my experience, being around people who loves you, lessens the pain. what she had done, cutting her connection to the cyberworld would help her move on especially if there are alot of memories of the both of them there. I tried a different approach. I'm weird, eh. I felt the pain. it made me feel alive. But i didnt let it affect me. I continued doing my daily activities, distracting myself from thinking about the failed relationship. as shakespeare said, feel the pain til it hurts no more.