You Cheating MF...
By djordan
@djordan (37)
United States
October 27, 2011 8:30am CST
Long story cut short:
My friend is married to this guy that was on an extended business trip, while on the trip he had relations with a co-worker that he worked with and his wife knows the girl from seeing her around the office. She and the wife weren't friends just simply cordial to each other. Anyway, he and the chick slept together and now she is pregnant. She won't have an abortion, which I don't blame her, and the husband is saying it's all her fault that she got pregnant and my friend is falling for it and beleiving every word he says and placing blame on the co-worker while consoling the husband.
As her friend I gave her some tough love and I kinda feel bad about some of the things I said. In a nut shell I told she needs to take off her blinders and realize your husband did you dirty and she can't place all the blame on this other woman simply because her hsband is pointing the finger. It takes two to tango and plus this happened over a period of three weeks and wasn't a one time thing. I know she loves him but I need her not to be gullible and "man-up" so to speak. But she just shuts down and I don't want to push it but I care for her and want whats best...which I know is not him. What to do??
2 people like this
9 responses
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
It's better to give her tough love and harsh words than consoling her, the guy has done something unacceptable. And the co-worker would not be pregnant if he really don't like it. One can never be pregnant on her own.
1 person likes this
@SilverVixen (284)
• United States
27 Oct 11
No offense to you or your friend, but really? She can't figure out what to do? Leave the man. It is with a woman he sees all the time. I highly doubt this was the first time and it will happen again. He needs to man up and take responsibility for the life he created. And your friend needs to block out all the bull about accidents and apologies. If he loved her, 3 weeks without s3x wouldn't have mattered and he would have kept it in his pants.
1 person likes this
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
27 Oct 11
That is really a bad situation for your friend. I know how hard it is to try and knock some sense into a friend. Your friend should leave him because now he is stuck with this other woman and her baby. Your friend can't trust this guy. You are right she is walking around with blinders on. The sad thing is that the decision is hers to make. You have done all you can to help her see the light. Now she'll just have to live with her own bad decisions.
1 person likes this
@djordan (37)
• United States
27 Oct 11
Trying to knock some sense into a friend is one the most frustrating things to do. Especially when you care about them and there well being. It's even worse when they know what is going on and still choose to act like its not there or its no big deal. UGHhhhh....
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
You have done your part to your friend. Do not insist on what you advised her if she doesn't follow them.
As the wife, she still have the last say, whether to believe her husband or believe you.
If i were the wife, i would go to their office and report it to their HRD specially if the girl is still single. But i think, doing that would also be of damage to his husband because they could be dismissed for immorality.
So, it would be again a great problem for the wife if her husband goes out of job specially if she's a plain housewife.
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@clearwater18 (695)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
I think what you did was right. You're her friend and as a friend, you have to tell her what you think about the situation and give some advice. But since you've already told her already and yet, she still sticks with her husband, then it's up to her already. You can't do anything about it anymore. She will be the one to decide if she'll believe and accept her husband or not. At least you've done your part. Just continue to be there for your friend but from time to time, try to remind her and tell her that you only want what's best for her.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
27 Oct 11
You did it. You told her what she Needed to hear. Now all you can do is sit and wait and see. Your friend may Remain with her hubby Or she may leave. It is her choice. All you can do is be there if she needs you.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
29 Oct 11
You did what you could do. You showed you are a good friend and you told what you noticed and the truth. I agree with you, it's easy to blame the woman but that husband was wrong too. He could have got his pants on and nobody knows what he told that woman. I always wonder why people prefer to be blind and blaming others instead of looking at themselves or their partner.
But is seems to be normal. If you would have not told her she would have asked you one day why you, as a good friend not told her you knew about her husband cheating on her. Now you did and she is still angry with you. But the good news is you did open her eyes. It just takes some time for her to see what is going on and she tells herself it's just less painful if she doesn't need to see what a jerk but esp. coward her husband is. If he tells her that women did it to him she will believe it too... for some time.
No need to push let it be this way she knows what is going on.
@curmont (343)
• United States
27 Oct 11
It sounds to me like your this is your friends way of trying to cope with all the emotions she is feelings right now and believe me when I say her emotions will cycle and she is going to need you to be there for her when they do-. She is going through denial now but eventually she will go through a phase of anger and one of depression. When all is said and done she is going to need to figure out not just if she can forgive the cheating but if she can live with the constant reminder of the infedelity that this child will bring. There will now be a permenant member of their family that will symbolize what her husband has done to her and she will be required to treat that child with love and respect as you are required to treat any step child, that is a big decision one that should not be made lightly and one that quite frankly I dont think I personally could live with.
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