Your family or your Boyfriend?

I am in a situation wherein even if I have not yet met my partner's family, I know they will not accept our relationship or will have a hard time accepting our relationship. We are lesbians you see, and even in these modern times, some people still find it hard to see homosexuality as a fact of life. I would definitely go with my girlfriend. I would not allow my family to deprieve me of my happiness. She is my sun, my source of life and energy and without her, I would be nothing. I have never been this happy before so I would choose her. This is a hard thing for me to do, but this does not mean I would no longer love my family. I would constantly try to find a way to be close to them again. I know eventually they would forgive me and accept me for who I am, besides they are my family. I know, in one way or another, their love for me would overshadow what they feel about my relationship.

I think it depends on the situation, your age, and why they dislike him. After my ex husband my parents didn't like any one I brought home just because they didn't want me hurt again. They never gave the men a chance. Family generally does come first but sometimes you have to stick it out and prove them wrong.

Hello svjom and welcome to myLot. Let me speak from experience. My family disapproved of the man I wanted to marry and let me know that they thought he wasn't a very good man. I didn't believe them. I thought I could change him into a better man. I wish I had. I would have had an easier life. Many times our family is a better judge of character then we are especially when we are young. When we are young we are often lead more by lust than our brains.

I've been there..it was very hard and for very long I've been taking sides and trying to make things right for everyone. One day I just made the decision of choosing my boyfriend, simply because I saw my future beside him, my family was also in my future but not beside me, my private life was gonna be empty still.. And I was surprised to see that after a while, eventhough they hated my boyfriend, even though they said they didn't wanna see me again and all the other drama.. they reached out to me, because they love me unconditionally, that's why it's called family, it's blood, it can't be washed off. We got back together and they started accepting my boyfriend when they saw I'm happy with him and he's been good for me for a long time. My opinion is family won't get to hate you so much no matter what you choose, and in the end it's your private life, they're not the ones involved so closely, and if you choose family, you might just end up lonely with them supporting you and being there for you, but still..lonely.. which can be very frustrating and bad for you..

In my view,I will give more importance to my family...Because they had suffered a lot to grow me up like this...And they have only the rights to find a partner for me...But if I found a person before that,and the family don't like him,I will say my boyfriend to wait for some time..I can prove to them that he is a nice guy...I can't forget my family or boy friend...I don't like to miss both of them...So we will wait for my family's blessings.... Thank you.... :-)

My boyfriend always makes me happy, he helps me in times of need, he's being a friend when i needed one. He's more than a boyfriend to me... And my family is the reason why I am living. Choosing between the two is really a hard thing to do. If there's a need to really choose between them, i will choose my family of course because i will never be here in this world without them. But still it depends on the reason why they don't like my bf. Will make everything to let them accept my bf.

dear, first of all its all how your life turn out to be in selecting the two because both plays equal important role in one's life. family is there to guide and help you in every bad situation throughout your life whereas boyfriend may not be there for you forever. on the contrary, boyfriend is one who understand your emotions far better than family can. so if u are sure of having a understanding and compatible boyfriend you can simply choose him.

Family always comes first in my book. They were there longer, so they always take the reign. However, I'm my own person, and I'm an adult for that matter. It depends on my family's reasoning for disliking the person I'm with. If they have legitimate reasons, I'd take them into consideration. If they were being silly, I'd tell them to grow up and stay with the person I'm dating.

The specific reason and motive will be the factor that will affect my decision on this matter. There are many instances wherein the parents or even relatives are against your love interest. Some are legitimate reasons. However, if I sense that their reasons are not valid or even unreasonable, I will choose her. Not all things in life should be decided by parents or other person for you.

For me i will choose my family..but i will tell to my boyfriend that we will be in secret relationship until my parents like him..=)

hi friend we both know the problem than you better advice than to select the family, because if you have a problem with yourself they simply can help you, for me family is always number one in my book, i have a problem when they give me advice, what i should do the right, but when i had bf i understand, but sometimes they also are fighting us bf because you do not leave my family, because i do not leave my family, sometimes that seems like cradle to separate my bf, but i also love him, sis what should i do? can you give me advice what is right?

I would say family, because you would be alone with it didn't work out between you and your boyfriend.

For this situation, Id choose my family because Ive been with them longer than my boyfriend. We can always have another boyfriend but not another family who genuinely cares for us and loves us for who we are. The people who have been with you from your first smile to your college graduation. So love your family guys because when everything seems wrong, theyll be the one to comfort you and tell you that its gonna be okay and guide you to get on your feet and get ready for a fresh start.

It is so hard to choose between to people that you treasure most. I've been there, I got hurt, I chose my boyfriend ( now ex-boyfriend) over my family...( yeah right Im stupid for choosing him over them) My family also got hurt in the process and I hated myself for that. In the end my relationship with my previous boyfriend didn't work out and despite of that my family still accepted me. I've learned my lesson.... my family will always come first no matter what happen. If your parents doesn't like the guy they must have seen something about him that will not work out with the both of you... :))

Maybe both are worst options. But if you were facing the dilemma, you should make the choose. For me, of course I will choose family. I love my family. All of the members of the family love me and give me a lot of help in my life. But it doesn't mean that I should loose my girlfriend. If the girl loves me, she should understand me. She should wait for some time, but not a very long time. At last, I can persuade my family. They love me. If I never give up, they will accept my girlfriend. So, you decide to be with your girlfriend and never, never change. That is the key.

In that situation, i will try to take the best way for me. i will try to make sure to my parents that my girl that i have choose is good for me.but if i cant,the last way is only following my parents will. if my family have choose a mate for me, i will try to see my parent choice first. if have a good habit, can take me into wealth, good person and better than my partner before, why not. but the first thing what i will do is defending my love. i will not let my love go away. struggling till the last try. and keep praying to God to give the best way for us. keep struggling for what we want.

I will let them understand the love I have for my BF and incase they don't agree with me, I will just live with them making sure that they notice that Iam not happy with their decision. For the BF, I wound request him to give me sometimes and make I sure that we communicate oftenly.

In my life I would choose family as my family is the most important thing to me, that being said it would not be the right choice for everyone. Not all families are good to each other and not all families have each others best interest at heart. I have known people that regretably had to turn there back on their family in order to live a healthier life free of the emotional abuse their so called loved ones inflicted upon them. So I guess the most important thing to do if faced with a situation like this is to determine why the family is making such a difficult request. Are they trying to protect the family member from an abusive boyfriend or a cheating lover or are they simply trying to control the person by keeping them dependent on them. If the ultimatum is made out of love and genuine concern then I think it should be taken seriously but if not perhaps it is the family who needs to be left behind and not the boyfriend. P,S, a loving family would not make such an ultimatum just because they do not like the boyfriend on a personal level they would only do so if they thought that this boyfriend really posed a threat to their loved one.