When it rains, it certainly does pour around my camp

I could not help myself and went back to see "Howard". Thanks so much my friend as I surely am enjoying the chuckle.

Hello PQ! Oh thank you my friend, for the kind and loving words. Although after the first of the four surgeries we were told she was in remission, but sadly the tumors kept showing up after only several months. Grandma knew in her heart that this sweet girl would not make it. She made it five full years for which grandma relished immensely. About a month ago the doctors stated she would not live past 2 - 4 weeks and it was then that grandma sat with her and explained. My niece was scared at first and shortly before her last breath she did say grandma I am ready to go and will be up in heaven with my daddy. These are the words grandma always told her as she felt it would be comforting to her. This is doubly sad for grandma as she did loose her son when he was 19 years old. Although grandma is such a strong woman she does accept that Breana will no longer be in pain and suffering. Sorry for not being more communicative as I have literally been so discombobulated that my normal way of thinking has not surfaced to it's normalcy. Thanks for being such a great friend. *hugs*

Thank you PQ! I am glad to have you as a friend.

You mean so much to me dear friend. I'll always be here for you.

Thank you YoYo for your kind words. Yes although the stats "say" that the world is heading a good direction, I really do not see it that way. The job market for one is so bad that there are hundreds and hundreds applying for the one job posted. I foresee a tad improvements but sadly I don't think it will get better as they "say".

This is what I had decided to do prior to all that has occurred. Sadly though life always comes in such a way for me where not one but several issues amount. I suppose it is suppose to make me stronger but sadly it does weaken me.

Just hang in there sweetie. Before you know it you will have your strenght back again.

I am hanging in there but sadly just too much in life. There comes a point where one says something must give. I am hopeful, let's face it as long as one is living one must live with hope. Sometimes I get the feeling that I would like to start walking to no end and never look back.

Hello Surekha! I am sorry I have not been myself. I have tried daily to log in but could not bring myself to be cheerful enough to participate with anyone. It is a bad time for me offline and although I am trying each day to be optimistic, sometimes life just gets the best of me.

My friend sorry to heard this a little child lost her life. I can understand how you are feeling and how your brother and bhabhi are feeling. Now you should take care of your brother and bhabhi because they will missing their daughter. Yes offline life is very important dont worry friend about me. I just missing because I know about your migrane problem and I was so worry and when I ask professor uncle he not tell me anything about you. So I was more worry.

I am sorry to hear about the passing of your Aunt. My sincerest sympathy. My niece had a very bad battle with cancer and her grandmother prepared her well. It is a terrible loss but I truly believe there is a purpose with her life. Sad for her grandmother as my nieces father passed when she was 3. So this adds to the grief for grandma as she was fortunate to be able to raise my niece since the passing of her son. But now she lost her too.

I love you Gabs and Gissi too. Thank you so much my friend for the wonderful words. I have been struggling for two years now and no matter how hard my persistence, it just does not seem to get better. I am greatful to be alive, it is staying afloat that is the task for me right now. I miss out telephone chats. I have several other issues not mentioned here but knowing you sending love and warm hugs gives me comfort. We will talk soon my friend, take care.

your so welcome. You can close your eyes an picture her smile. Even after 7 years of my hubby ding of cancer I can still picture his little crooked smile and things he said and did as long as you have momeories you never forget hugsssssssssssssssss

Oh thank you Lakota for the hugs and prayers. I am happy to have wonderful friends here. Sad as she was a very healthy child from birth until she was 8 years old, it came on suddenly and she fought a tough battle, one that she lost her life to. She is in peace and pain free now so we will cherish her memory always.

Lakota, You are so right. Our memories can bring our loved ones back to us for a few seconds or minutes as we remember things they said and did. We always are remembering some of the happy things about Jason, and it's as though he's just moved away where we can't talk to him anymore, but we know he's probably more alive than he's ever been. He's been gone 20 years now, but he will never be forgotten by those who loved him. @HWG, I can say this after 20 years, but it wasn't quite so easy to feel that way right after he left us. The first three years are the hardest. That's when you wonder if the pain will ever go away. I have written a lot on line on grieving to try to help those whose grief is fresh. I just want to reassure you and anyone else who has just lost a loved one that it will get better someday. But in these first few days, months and years, it will still hurt a lot -- especially as the holidays are coming. It will be much easier to notice the one who is no longer at the holiday table than the ones who still are there. Feel free to grieve together with your family. There is no reason to pretend a holiday cheer you don't feel. It's more healing to go ahead and share the memories of the one you are all missing and let people shed a few tears. Maybe share the memories you are thankful you still have.

HI HWG, It's understandable why you feel so drained. You haven't been dealing with just one hard time but many stressful situations all at once. You are a very strong woman and I have no doubt that you will get back on track. Things just have to make a turn for the better for you and very soon! {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

I have an interview tomorrow and am so hoping it all goes well. At last someone has set an interview and although it is no guarantee at least it is getting the ball rolling for me. I have made it a full time responsibility to find work and am so hoping something comes through very soon. Thanks so much for the hugs.

Hello sid I have logged in daily but could not bring forth the energy and or words to participate. I suppose my emotions are quite drained for which will not allow me to express my feelings. I have gone through a great deal in life although I have always managed to set my life on track each time. I guess this time around it has been much harder then ever before where I have lost a great deal of hope for months on end. I am re-building my positivity once again and trying as really there is nothing left to loose. I really appreciate your kinds words and prayers.

thanks sweetie. yes i havent been here for a while very often like i was. mostly because im to sensitive and as you know i was made to feel like a dummy a while back by a good friend here and then, for 2 weeks now ive had some kind of weird eye infection that just now seems to be clearing up a bit.

I am sorry to hear of the eye infection and do hope it goes completely away real soon. I do understand your reason for not being here but don't feel bad as the one person is no longer here. There will always be the one or two who does something like that, we just do not allow them to change who we are.

My niece grew sicker and sicker but despite all she was such a happy always smiling child. She is pain and suffering free now for which I am very greatful. I will miss her greatly and have several flash backs of the many of times we shared out times together. Thanks for the chuckle with your daugthers fiance, lol yes I know someone like this that somehow gets interviews after job offers and decides he does not like the type of work. I will continue my search as it will not come way otherwise and hope I can land something soon. Thank you so much for the prayers as I pray all day long. I do hope all is well with you post-operatively as I have not been able to participate so I am sort of out of the loop. You are and will always be in my prayers. I do want to add that I have chuckled several times with your emails.

She is with the Lord now. You will see her again. Until then, she is watching over you from Heaven.

I do believe this as well and am hoping to see her lovely smile some day again. I was sitting at home yesterday smiling and chuckling abou her and I good times.

I have often thought that when a child is taken from us so early it is that we as parents are to learn a valueable lesson. This I learn very early on in my mothering years and have utilized the lesson to the fullest extent. I have been a great mother, something if anything I whole heartedly feel I did right. What remains in my mind though is that why do the children as my niece need to suffer. I am sure that there is a reason and as thesids is recommending down below, I shall return to reading the bible. I have neglected doing so for a long time, although I am very stron in prayer. I have been emotionally weakened now for almost two years, sort of fooling myself into thinking all will be okay. Thank you for the link, I shall visit it and read it carefully.

Thanks for your reply comments. Read Bible. Our scriptures contain explanation for whatever thing is happening in our life. Sometimes they are hard to understand.

Thank you enelym for your kind words. Yes as I kneeled beside her I thanked God for no longer allowing her to be in pain. She fought a long and hard battle as she had 4 surgeries and loads of rounds of chemo and radiation. She was such a very sick but happy little girl. Her smile even while lying in the hospital bed will be remembered always.

for sure she'll be your & her families angel. Can't stand seeing kids suffering and having to undergo surgeries.

Yes my friend and we all want to remember her wonderful smile and happy days. She will always be above watching over all of us.

Hello Tina! I have thought about you during my away time and hoping things have been going well and or better for you. I have you in my constant daily prayers as I know you have gone through quite a bit. I am still clinging on to a shred of hope and persistenting daily as something must change. Yes I question each and every day, what and how can I do if anything different as the reasons are not spelled out clearly yet. I am just hoping to put this all behind me and hoping that something comes through soon. My niece is certainly above in the Kingdom of Heaven, together with her father and will be watching over all of us.

Same here my friend as when one things goes bad there usually is a cycle of several to follow after. Sadly the good times only last momentarily for me. Yes my niece no longer has to endure all the harsh surgeries and treatment she underwent in her short life. We will miss her but all so agree that she no longer has to endure so much pain in her life. We will miss her dearly and remember the short but sweet moments we have had with her. She will be up above watching over all of us therefore we all will get together from time to time to remember her sweet life.

With me, it is usually financial. And it does not matter if I am being irresonpibl or responsible with my money, if I have to repair something and pay for it, then two other things go wrong and usually in the same month. It also happens when I buy something like furnishings, then there is something I need and usually it is pretty soon. With tragedies, they happen after a family reunion since when my father-in-law married my mother-in-law, the genes in theirc children were not that good. So with every family reunion, I usually wondered who would die this year. So now I am reprehensive of buying things and do not want to feel that way.

We have lost several people in our family including babies too. I am on the one hand glad she no longer is here suffering such a terrible illness as she did for five long years. Even after all the deaths that have occurred withing my own family this one is about the hardest. She underwent so much for he five years to then end up dying. She is no longer in pain and or enduring so much anymore, for that I believe we will grieve in such a way that we will celebrate her freedom of such a painful life.

Yes. Our loved ones should not experience suffering. That is our goal/desire. This has been fulfilled for you now here. We always believe that the time of her stay in this form is over and she will go to another place in a better shape.

Yes there are a lot of people in far worse situations and this I try to remember on a constant daily basis. We have lost several children and babies in our family and at times I wonder why the young. I do believe there is a message and or lesson within it. Gosh yes there are several that I know who are in such bad predicaments and I feel for them as I have been struggling now for the last two years. Though I have struggled immensely at other times in my life as well, I guess it just never seems easier each time. Yup the rain and pours seem to happen to me consistently.

Bagarad Generally I am a very optimistic and hopeful type person but lately my mind is emotionally drained. The burdens I am experiencing are a bit too heavy for me to deal with at the moment. I don't feel as if I could advise and or help anyone when I can't do so for myself. I would like to return back to myself but sadly it is taking a bit longer then I would like. I have sat in silence and prayer many, many times to disway my thoughts of negativity. I will begin with the Psalms my friend and hopefully it can lift my spirits. Thank so much for your lovely words.