Listeners... Do they truly exist?
By ajpa23
@ajpa23 (92)
Philippines
November 12, 2011 11:57am CST
I often hear a lot of people saying that they tend to be "listeners" than speakers but their actions prove otherwise. Finding someone who "actually listens" - not because 1. he/she is forced to (e.g. professor to student), 2. it's rude to butt in, 3. he/she is expected to do so (e.g. friends?), 4. he/she is too lazy to act or 5. of other reasons - is a difficult, if not impossible task. A true listener is quite a rare human species. (If you know what I mean). People tend to be selfish. We want to talk about ourselves even without realizing it, like an engraved instinct. Even though we want to listen, most of the time our mind wanders even for a short time. There's also those people who acted as if they're listening, even though the truth is they are seething inside and praying that you'll stop. If you're a good friend, you might say that you truly listen to your friend when he/she has problems. But are you truly listening? I read an article that says, humans tend to only hear the keywords and from that draw possible conclusions on what happened.(Don't know if it's true)
I want to say I'm a good listener since I'm more inclined to listening rather than speaking/sharing even when it comes to my friends. But, I've tried to look back and find a situation wherein I really listened. Unfortunately, I came up with nothing. Haha. Too bad for me. Maybe I'm really a lousy listener or I have a concentration the size of a peanut. Maybe it's only me. So, how about you? What do you think?
9 responses
@kharlav (1669)
• Philippines
15 Nov 11
I think i am one of the listeners. So i say, they do exist because I am one. I am used to listening. When someone speaks I listen and just keep quiet. And because I am used to just listening and not speaking, that whenever I speak I tend to end it early or say too much, I am just so straight to the point. I usually give messages during Sunday Service since I am a leader in my church. Most people who spoke during service would speak for an hour or more, but whenever I speak, its so short that I just speak for 30 minutes or less. lol
@mariahhh (1328)
• United Arab Emirates
13 Nov 11
I totally agree with you. In my opinion, I guess it depends on the person that you are talking to. Sometimes I am a listener, and sometimes I am a speaker.
I have this one colleague who really loves to talk. That is when I become a (forced) listener, because she never gives me any time to talk about my self. She would talk for the whole day, and whenever I try to tell tell something about the subject, she will cut me off and then start talking again.
But I am really a good listener when it comes to my friends who also know how to listen to me. I listen to everything they say, about how their day past by, what happened to them, about their loved ones. Because they are my true friends. And I know that they will also listen to me about everything that happened to me. 
@extremexo (22)
• Venezuela
12 Nov 11
Here i am! a listener. I like to listen because i don't like speake a lot, I'm kind of shy. In fact, i had girlfriends that said that i am a good listener but they need a speaker too, Instead my friends loves me because they have a guy who can talk with.
@bukanfitnah (56)
• Indonesia
13 Nov 11
hey extremo
according to the question you are listener because some reason that is shy
@mmgonzales (882)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I do always tend to listen if someone needs to talk...because even without a word or 2 i can help somebody to pour out whats on their mind and heart...If they releases those emotions then they are free...if they ask me if i can advice yes i will advice...That why i can tell you now listener exist...
@deadlywario0 (57)
• United States
13 Nov 11
I am very happy on your insight very nice job on your post. I am a listener to the end, I might even be a psychologist :D. It just hurts me and I feel I can really relate to people when they "open up." In this day and age you never know who's going through what or at what age.
@vexxus (712)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I am not a good listener cause I tend to get bored while listening especially when it comes to personal matters, personal problems happens to all of us anyway, there's no need to let anybody know what you feel, maybe because I have met some people whom I trust about my personal problems and the next day the news was spread all around the corner, I have told some of my personal matters to wrong people, now I don't want to listen and tell my personal matters as well.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
12 Nov 11
Interesting subject. To be honest I never met someone who said he is a listener.. perhaps more listener as speaker but there is a big part in between of that.
Also I think men are bad listeners. For some reason they always seem to think that if you want to tell them something you are asking for advice.
And this is surely not always the fact.
I think we can all be listeners if we are interested in the subject or willing to help someone out in need.
I am not always a great listener if it comes to my kids because they tell frequently the same and I learned/know when to say yes, no or hummm or really?
If I am already busy it's hard to hear everything as well but if someone needs me I do listen.
But I also ask what they expect from me. Just listening, an answer, advice or just the cup of tea.
@mmgonzales (882)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I do always tend to listen if someone needs to talk...because even without a word or 2 i can help somebody to pour out whats on their mind and heart...
