When People ask personal Questions - How do you react or handle it?

Thanks All the best to you too.

Hi sarah,Thanks a lot for your response LOL, most of the time that's what I would like to say, just ask them to get lost ! However, I try to be patient mainly because I get to see them every day and it becomes very uncomfortable if there is any animosity ....all the best

to Kalyani ,Professor! Serves the woman right.

LOL, that is the right waay to deal with such situations ...I agree with kala , something similar happened with my aunt a few years ago , who has a suspicious husband.She happened to meet a relative while buying vegetables , who happened to invite her for a cup of coffee at a nearby restaurant and the sensation it created then because of a gossip monger ...suspicious people tend to be easy targets for such mischief makers ..

I never have been able to understand why some go around fighting because of beliefs. There is only 1 God and we are supposed to be like brohers, sisters, fathers, mothers, like family. Would our heavenly father like all this fighting hating and killing??? I think not. He is known by different names but He is the ONE. He never told us to kill anyone.

That's very true, but not many follow this when it actually comes to a real life situation- most people would like to take sides and the damage is done !It is always the innocents and the defenceless who suffer the most ....

Hi jdyrj, I guess it depends on how you deal with people .I have been extremely rude with some people because I have felt that was the only way to deal with them.Now I feel that we have to deal differently with different people depending on circumstances. Let me just tell you about something that happened - We have an electronics shop in the neighborhood and the owner a middle aged man , a very gossipy and talkative person , generally disliked by all, added to that was the general feeling that he being a muslim was suspect ! Last year, we had communal violence in the entire city and in our area too we had a lot of disturbances, there was a curfew after 6 PM. One evening some miscreants were chasing some innocent youngsters with sticks and swords.This man was just closing his shop and he gave refuge to those youngsters by locking them inside, pretending as if he was closing his shop ( we later came to know that the group chasing with weapons were muslims and the youngsters were hindus and christians, but he never bothered about any of this )... So, people do have some good points in them, and we have to evaluate people individually too instead of going by their birth and beliefs - thanks a lot for adding your views and happy mylotting

Hi macayadann,Thanks a lot for sharing your views I agree that for those interested in gossip and in others affairs , life seems dull unless they get fresh inputs all the time, so they are busy in their own keeping a watch on the neighborhood ...I guess it takes all kinds to make this world, they do make our life that much more interesting LOL , enjoy your day

Yes that's true ! like they say 'Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't really care one way or the other and the other 80% are glad you have them' ...enjoy your evening

That is right, their laughter comes from the miseries of others. They envy you or get jealous once they see that you are always wearing a smile on your face.

I dont get what you are trying to say - anyway, thanks a lot for sharing your views , all the best and happy mylotting

Aww I don't know why you didn't get it but anyway let me just tell you that I was wondering how my parents feels too when someone asked them when me and my brothers are getting married. I don't know if they feel annoyed too like you do. We all are not married and a lot of people are eager to know when we, my parents kids, are gonna get married. Because all of us are in the right age to marry. And most of my parents friends has grandchildren. Now... on my part, when someone asked me about personal questions too I feel annoyed too. So i guess this is clear, huh?

Yes I get it ! In my case it is not anger , rather a feeling of irritation since we are quite happy the way things are and I dont understand why others should bother?I am sorry that you have to face such curious questions from people, and I feel the best way is to just ignore the whole thing and carry on...all the best and happy mylotting

Hi curmont,thanks a lot for your response...I agree that we dont mind sharing any personal details if we feel comfortable doing so, but it is a personal choice - all the best and happy mylotting

Hi Kiaran! Yeah, you are right some sort of personal questions are permissible (where one does not feel uncomfortable replying to those questions). One feels irritated when the person asking the question is just probing you and is not showing any sympathy towards you.

Hi deepak, thanks a lot , I never looked at the mylot digest of 16/11, must have deleted it, will look in the trash, should be there ! I am ok with a certain amount of personal questions, we all do that - like asking about family, children.What is important is that there should e a genuine concern and not with the idea of spreading the information to others and make it a topic of gossip...It was the way she asked me, They came home so late at night, did you know they were coming? I said their train was delayed since they have come from Cochin.Are they still there ? I have never seen them visiting you so far...lol..she really can go on ! It is good abut the exam marks lol..One has to be very diplomatic and tactful to maintain good relationship and also manage to hold on to one's privacy..have a nice day deepak

Hi tales4wisdom, I agree with what you say ! I feel exactly the same way, however, the only thing that makes me respond politely is because we have been in the same neighborhood for nearly 20 years and shared many things together, and she does have her good points.But she is far too inquisitive and quite open about it lol..all the best and thanks a lot for your response

Exactly ! Friends are those you want to share things with , but neighbors are just there ...

Hi Kiran, you are right we should shared things with our neighbor, but we should also know when to stop them from being inquisitive most especially when it comes to how we live our life. I use to ask myself if my neighbor or colleagues at work are my friend, the answer is no, been my neighbor or colleague doesn't make you my friend so there is a limit to what i can share or talk about with them. Best of luck

Hi PQ, thanks a lot for sharing your viewsI agree that we need to interact with people and show some interest in what is happening with their lives.It makes everyone happy as long as we keep it at a level where they don't feel either uncomfortable or offended - like for example, the other day I was chatting with 2 of my colleagues.One of them has this habit of asking probing questions .The other colleague who is quite timid and soft spoken was telling us about her son's results which had just been announced in a competitive exam , where he had fared quite well.The curious one wanted to know every single detail, the percentage of marks scored and his rank etc etc....I could see that the soft spoken one was finding it really hard to find a way out.I laughingly told miss curious, why don't we wait for the official announcement when it happens and thankfully she left it at that....Some people find it very difficult to handle such situations and that's how the gossip mongers are able to thrive ! all the best and enjoy your day

That's true ! Building relationships with people and more importantly managing them without any major hassle is not an easy task, more so if you are an introvert...Your own example shows that as individuals we all have our own capacity to form impressions about other people and situations without blindly following what we have been taught at home or school!

My parents were very into themselves.. meaning keeping their business to themselves. Our pharmacist was a very talkative guy and he would ask questions just to get to know us better.. and my dad said he didn't like "Carter" the pharmacist because he was NOSY. I never found him to be nosy, he was just making polite conversation. Some people are so timid that they don't know what to say to people who are more outgoing.

Hi Cricket, thanks a lot for your responseOf course , one has to decide about such matters, and others have no business either suggesting or commenting on it ! I know how it is to bring up children , having 3 myself - requires a lot of responsibility and patience ! No doubt that it is worth every single minute of it - all the best and have a great day

Hi sarah, will go through the video later....I too have a friends who has a dog,3 cats and a few birds and no kids.She says she has no regrets and is quite happy with things as they are ! I used to send my children to art classes or summer camp during holidays and they really enjoyed them... Other than that one can teach them some craft like drawing and painting or handiwork like making clay dolls which does keep them busy ...all the best

Sure! Everyone is different in regards to kids and I do respect it. Some can manage a family and some are just not meant for it. My sister is one of the latter; she has two dogs and that makes her happy. I could use some ideas on how to keep a 7 year old busy during the holidays. She does like to help out whether it be baking and some other household tasks--any imput? Be well! Sarah PS--Hope you'll like this! http://www.youtube.com/user/achmad250886

Hi deliar,In m case, I know the lady well, but even then I would like to guard somethings and have my privacy especially regarding things that don't really concern her...I too never probe where personal matters are concerned...There are times when we have to be firm with people only then they curb their curiosity ! thanks a lot for your response and happy mylotting

You are welcome. happy mylotting too kiran, enjoy your day.

Hi missy, thanks a lot for sharing your views I agree with you - many people are either lonely or want to share personal details about their life whether you are interested in it or not, they also want to know all your details...I guess it is a basic human nature or need to share.as long as it doesnt cross certain limits and make you feel uncomfortable it is alright.However, the limit is different to different people...

I agree unless you want to hear and feel close enough to people you should not go around sharing personal information with others even when you are on friendly terms.There is a difference between being just friendly and being close friends ..

Hi Mashnn, thats the only way to deal with unwanted personal questions ...Once you know how to handle people, they too tend to be careful with their talk - all the best and thanks a lot for sharing your views

Hi sandra,that is comforting to kknow, that she finds my life more interesting and exciting lol, who knows? As for her, there is no need to ask her, she is normally overflowing with details about her life, so much so that I find it difficult to get even a couple of sentences in between...

Human nature, very curious, but in essence I think nosy people are just very annoying. Maybe she finds your life exciting compares to her's and wants to know all the gorry details about your life, maybe she get's motivated. Always change the topic and revert back to her, by asking so how are you? did you have a good week? how's your family etc. perhaps next time if it happens again!

Hi devi, that is a good suggestion , tanks a lot and happy mylotting

thanks not tanks ...

ok kiran, no problem.

Hi daddym,LOL she is not the only one, but I am surrounded by nosey neighbors !The others dont have the guts to openly ask about certain matters and she is their spokesperson, who gets all the news for themshe does have her good points, so I humor her by giving some titbits to keep her and the other friends happy ... thanks a lot for your response and happy mylotting

Hi shibham, I agree with your father I don't see how it concerns anybody else, but most people tend to ask these questions most frequently , especially so in India, this inspite of most people getting annoyed about such questions ...

Hi maggie, thanks a lot for your response Most people are curious about other people's personal lives , but some are quite shameless about it and want to know all the minute details, this is what is highly annoying ! ...No doubt, we have to deal with it by being diplomatic at times and at times by being firm !all the best and enjoy your evening

Hi garson, as I already said in the earlier discussion, when we deal with people many factors come into play like our previous experience with them and also the circumstance...I tend to be quite firm when I am dealing with relatives rather than neighbors, mainly because I see them almost every day and there are bound to be interactions on other matters concerning the locality etc ;...

Hi kharlav, I agree with your views ! Gossip can only lead to trouble and I have seen many instances where people have created misunderstandings within families because of their mentality.All the best and thanks a lot for your response

Hi bj,LOL, what you say is true, my be I have given her the confidence to ask such questions by responding to them.It is a one way traffic believe me, because I am not interested in any of her personal issues nor do I question her regarding any of it.In fact, even when I politely wish her just to keep up friendly neighborly appearances I get to hear a earful of their family goings on or what is happening in the neighborhood... thanks a lot for your response and enjoy your weekend