How would you feel if your boyfriend told you he would NEVER meet your family?

I'm sorry hun but I can see trouble already. He is not open minded enough to know that not all "families" are bad. Not all families have problems, not all families are dysfunctional. Just because he and his family don't get along does not mean others are the same way, in fact they are not! He needs to open his mind and I think he already knows this he just doesn't want to go with you to see your family. This is a problem right off. If he is not willing to do things with you just because it would make you happy then you have a problem! If he is not willing to talk about this and change this in himself for you and himself then he does not truly love you. You may have to come to the realization that you are in love with him and he is not with you. I'm sorry hun and I don't want to hurt you. But loving someone is not enough for a relationship. You know this as you have has one before, the father of your children. You learned a lot from that one. I'd say that you weight the pros and cons of your relationship with him and the fact that you already don't wish to have him around your children speaks volumes. I would not waste my precious and valuable time with someone that I was not going to be able to spend my life with or that my children did not have the luxury of enjoying the benefit of his company. He could be playing with them in the yard. Taking them to the lake for swimming lessons and boat rides. Or taking them skating. He could be playing ball with them or going on camping trips with the family. These are the reasons to have a guys around for the family. Just to name a few and there are so many many more. Even if you do have to watch him a lot around your children, they need the male contact and to enjoy the good contact of a male companion. I know it's hard sometimes to get truly comfortable with a man around your children but you never know if he is the one if he is not given that chance. My husband is pure gold with my children and would never ever hurt them. In his eyes they are his children, but they are not. They are from my first marriage. But he did more for them in our first year than their sperm donor ever did. My husband has been their dad now for just over 20 years. We just celebrated our 20th anniversary last week and a better man I could not have found. A better father and dad I could not have found. I would not have known this if I had not given him the chance. But honey the guy you are with seriously has his priorities messed up when it comes to a family and if you don't want him around your children then you have trust issues with him. You need to do some soul searching where he is concerned. Good luck dear. I hope you find what you want and get where you want to be. Hugs...

Kind of strange. If he really liked you he would at least respect your side of the Family by at least greeting/meeting them face to face once a year. I know you love your boyfriend, but do you think he will be a good influence on your kids and their characteristics in the future? He might not get along with your children and that may pose as a problem if you decide to take things into a more serious level.

I can only say I understand your bf and his situation. Mine been like that for years. If you have bad memories about your family/celebrations it's hard to get over it. So my ex and I decided we both would not force eachother to join if we don't feel too. It's useless to sit there, celebrate while one of you feel uncomfortable and unhappy. I also do think it's hard to force someone to feel happy, esp. someone you love. Times changed for me. I am still not such a social type. I love to be alone and celebrate in my own way. My own way made celebrations way easier and less complicated and I see my kids enjoy this way too. So we have new habits/styles etc. It's not said your friend will never come over with you. I think it's not important to break your brais about how it will be in the future if... Be happy he is so honest with you to tell you how he feels about it, to share these painfull memories and feelings. Don't let a family dinner now or in the future come in between it. It's not worth it. You just go, enjoy it and know he feels fine about it and save to do it his way.

It makes me think that he is not serious with you. Even though he might be uncomfortable with it he should go for you, just like what you said, you might go for him because you love him. He should do the same thing in the name of love, but unfortunately he doesnt. Shouldnt you tell him your feelings about it? Everything should be in the sun in order to make your relationship work out.

I am having a difficult time understanding why this man is even your boyfriend. Before the issue of family dinners even came up the situation with the kids should have been a deal breaker. How did you see your future working out with him not liking kids and him not being around your kids. This does not seem like you would ever be able to be a family. So if you had already accepted a future with him with no sense of family between you already being determined why are you surprised or hurt that he does not want to share family time with the rest of your family as well. I think that if this hurt you as it seems it obviously has you may want to consider if this is the type of relationship you really want to be in because I don't see things turning out the way you seem to want them to.

No offense, but i think both of you have issues. Both of you need to resolve this issue, help each other. Families are important. And if both of you ever want to marry, you have to keep it in mind that you will have your own family in the future. I don't understand why you are even together if you can't handle a little family get together, which is kind of inevitable in the future after you two get married. If you are serious about each other, both of you have to go to great lengths, even bear situations that you particularly don't like. Sorry, but i hope I helped even a little. If my boyfriend would never want to meet my family, I would be sad. Because family is important to me. Just because you are married doesn't mean that you will not get together with your family anymore. I would think my BF isn't serious about me. And if he breaks up for such a small thing, then i'm glad i would be rid of him. This is my personal view on the matter. It's really all up to you.

I would most probably feel dismayed at his reaction, he is so straightforward about it, which can be a good thing because he never lets you expect anything more from him. I am surprised your mother even was kind enough to have him invited at your place. I am wondering though how come you do not want him near your kids? Your kids are yours and they are a part of you - if he wants and loves you and wants to be with you he should be able to accept that you do have kids and that he is bound to encounter them one way or another, except of course if you allow your kids separated from you. Like you have said, even if i do not want to, i would have gone to meet his parents/family if i was in the case, even if i am not used to big families, etc.

Hi Shaggin, I think that what is bothering you is just maybe the way he said it...NEVER? I mean I never want to get married again but I would want someone to love me enough to even if we didn't. It would hurt to hear the words. As for the kids, when I dated, my kids would meet them but after the last bad experience(youngest daughter's dad), I would not want another man involved in raising my kids. I do think you should talk to him about this and your feelings. Breaking up with you for wanting him to come to a family dinner sounds a bit harsh. Are you sure you are reading him right?

Hi shaggin, I think you are dating a guy who has commitment issues. He is probably commitment phobic and that could be the reason why he can't get along with his own family, not to mention yours. I would never want to attend my partner's family dinner even for the sake of love. I have done that before and till today I hate myself for it. I would never again place myself in such a vulnerable situation. Just maybe your boyfriend had experienced something similar too.

If my boyfriend ever did this to me I would know it is time give that man that man the boot. I mean come on eventually the boyfriend has to meet the family and eventually the kids. I would not be with a man that did not like kids and he knew you had kids. I am so sorry to hear he is doing this to you.

First of all, it's kind of strange that you don't want him around your kids. Is he a pedophile or something? I can understand him not wanting to be around your parents and extended family, but it's really strange that he isn't even interested in your kids, whether he likes them or not. They're a big part of you (hoping that you're a good mother who would do anything for them). He should accept that. Secondly, he just sounds really odd. It's almost like he doesn't want anything to do with anyone around you. Like one of those high school relationships where no one can know that you're together. I am in no way saying this is how it is, though. Just saying how it seems from those few paragraphs. My last train of thought about this is that if you ever did reach the point to where you wanted him to come to a family dinner, and you think he's the kind of person who would end a relationship because of that, why are you even with him? I understand you love him and all, but love isn't always everything. There are other important factors to consider when being in a relationship with someone. Maybe you should evaluate it, because if someone loved you, they would put up with your family for an hour or two.

When I was single I used to pray to the Lord for the man that I wanted, I said Lord I want a man that love you first then my son and family and then me, because I can't deal with a man that doesn't get alone with my son, or family or don't believe in God I know I wouldn't be happy, so I think you have to have a conversation with yourself and ask you if that is the kind of man that you want with you.

Sad to hear that your boyfriend is acting that way, but to understand him, maybe you could ask him about his reason not going to your family dinner because he dont get along with his family. Maybe you could ask him why he could not get along with his family? Maybe he have a reason why, and on that, you can explain to him that your family is different from his and if he really loves you, he will love the people whom are very special to you. if he can't love them, then I think you need to break up with him, for he don't love you.

Well I'm going to tell it if it were my girlfriend; If my girlfriend didn't want to meet my family, i would be so upset and I probably wouldn't be with her for long because my family is really all I got. I depend on them for so much and I'm in their company all the time so if she can't meet them or get along with them, she's got to go and that's the way it is! A girl can't make you happy if she isn't happy with who you are (because your family is one strong relation of you)! On to the next one!

For me yes that's not a good sine to your boyfriend he is not friendly how much more when you are together you feel bad no communication at all.

Perhaps he is still not prepared to meet your family. You have to understand him also that he might some problems that he could not meet your family. You have to talk to your boyfriend and ask his reason.

Hmm.. very strange my dear friend, that's a red flag on your part and family, your mother has a hunch feeling that your boyfriend is not serious on you and not very interested to know your know or some instances, all guys are very different or just not really ready to meet your parents anyway!. What you would do is try to talk to him, about your feeling.so he will know that your hurt when you been totally ignored by him..

If i would be told like that by my husband or my partner, i would be hurt indeed. Maybe if he has already experienced having dinner with my family for even once and didn't like it, then i will not insist anymore. But if it will be for the first time, i think i will insist that he comes for him to feel how it is.

If my boyfriend will not going to meet my family, I will be upset. If he loves me then what hinders him of meeting my own family. If he's not ready yet, what is the big deal, if you are not going to marry me in the future, at least the time we are having relationship, he should have the respect of meeting them, anyway they will not hurt them, because my family is harmless.

I am really sorry to say this shaggin but I either think your bf isn't serious or extremely shy. Or maybe he is ust introverted and reserved and does not like meeting people. No one can say more that you do coz you're the one who knows him. So decide for yourself.