Is age important to you when you look for new friends?
By Porcospino
@Porcospino (31366)
Denmark
November 18, 2011 12:58pm CST
Some days ago I read a discussion on an online forum. One of the members was looking for new friends and she got a message from someone who was 10 years younger than her and she replied "Sorry, you are too young for me, I am only looking for friends my age". When I read that discussion I started thinking my own friendships. I have friends my age, I have friends who are 15 years younger than me and I have friends who are 20 years older than me. Age has never been very important to me when I look for new friends. My friends' personalities and the things we have in common are much more important to me than their age.
Is it important to you that your friends aren't younger or older than you? Why/why not?
5 people like this
43 responses
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32748)
• Calgary, Alberta
18 Nov 11
Psychological age is important to me, not biological age, I want someone who have the maturity that can give me at the same time not too old and boring. Someone who is cool and fun to get along with yet not boring to be with.I dont like people who are too mature and I also don't like people who are too immature. I want someone who can give me serious conversations and have fun with.,
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
19 Nov 11
I also think that psychological age is more important than biological age. Some people are older than me but more immature and some people are younger than me but more mature than me, and we can't judge a person "just" by looking at the age. A person you can have fun with and have serious conversations with sounds like a good combination to me. In real life I am a person who laughs and jokes a lot, and I like people who joke and have fun, but I also like long serious conversations when I am in that mood.
2 people like this
@CaptAlbertWhisker (32748)
• Calgary, Alberta
21 Nov 11
most of my friends are teenagers(18 to 19) and people on their early 20's cos the older people on my office hates my guts. They use to be nice to me until I got promoted before they did.
2 people like this
@sam8911 (35)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I do not think age is important when looking and meeting new friends. I find that someone the same age as you can be in a very different place in life but they may be your age. Then you may find someone who is older but it in the same point in life and eduring the same struggles you are. This is more important to me than age specifically.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
19 Nov 11
I also think that it is more important that my friends and I have something in common and that we are able to understand eachother. One of my close friends is younger than me, but we have had many of the same experiences in the past, and we understand eachother really well despite the age difference between us. I also have friends who are older than me and we also get along really well. I don't really think about the fact that they are older than me, it is much more important to me that we understand eachother.
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
18 Nov 11
I don't think age is important, especially on line, I think we are age anonymous on line just like our appearance, anyway some people are very young for their age and some people are very mature for their age so I think 10years is a silly difference to make...
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
19 Nov 11
Some people are mature for their age, that is true. Sometimes when I get to know people online for instanse through a discussion site I sometimes imagine that they are my age or older based on the things that they write, but when I check their profile I am really surpriced to see that they are 10 or 15 years younger than I thought. I have also experienced the opposite situation. I read a discussion that I found very immature and I thought: "I must be a 14-year-old or something like that" and then I checked the profile and discovered that he was 40 years old!
1 person likes this
@gloamglozer (1289)
• Australia
19 Nov 11
Not particularly, but I tend to befriend people older than 16. I think because of the maturity factor. On the other hand, it doesn't really matter if they are older than me.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
19 Nov 11
I understand what you mean. I am 35 and I prefer to have friends who are least 19 or 20 years old. I don't care if my friends are younger than me as long as they are adults. I don't have friends who are 14 or 15 years old, because they would be a little too young for me.
1 person likes this
@zralte (4178)
• India
19 Nov 11
Every one to their own, I suppose.
For me, age is never an issue. I guess the same goes for my husband. We are in our early 30s and we have friends who are 60 years or more. One of our closest friends is 60 years old. We have friends who are our age, and those who are much much younger, like 19 years old.
The important thing is that we share the same interests. I would not be able to stay friends with people who has no similar interests as me, regardless of their age. Just because a person is my age don't necessarily mean that we are going to share interests. It could be that we have experienced the same kind of thing when we are younger or something, but that is not enough reason for me.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Nov 11
I also think that the same interests are important in a friendship. My friends and I all share some interests, and it is very nice that we are able to do those things together and discuss things that we are both interested in. One of my big interests is art and I love to share techniques with my friends and I love the fact that we are able to help and inspire eachother. Of course we don't share every interest that we have, and sometimes we are able to introduce eachother to new things, that is also nice I think.
@zralte (4178)
• India
20 Nov 11
Definitely nice. and important too. It would become boring just to be able to discuss and do a few interests. Broadening our horizons, so to speak, is the valuable part of having friends. Take myLot, for example, we choose our friends on myLot based on the interests we share. And from then on, we see their discussions and different aspects of their life and we start joining those as well.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
18 Nov 11
It is true that we often able to share more things with people from the same age and we have more things in common because we are in same life stage. I have experienced things that we some of my younger friends haven't experienced yet and my older friends have more experience than I do. Sometimes I am able to help younger friends, because I have tried more things that they have and with my older friends it is the other way around, and I can get advice from them, because they have more experience than me. I like to have many different kinds of friends and friends from different age groups.
1 person likes this
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
I believe that in friendship, age doesn't really matter. You can be friends with people with your age and people older and younger than you. When you have friends both young and old, it only shows that you are a good person. It is also an advantage because you will know what are their thoughts on some things. You will get to know new ideas from them and of course older friends could give you some good advises as they've been to the same situation.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
24 Nov 11
I also think that it is an advantage to have friends from different age groups, because that way we get introduced to different ways of thinking, we can learn something from that and we get new ideas. I have friends who are both younger and older than me and when I need advice about something I often ask friends who are older than me, because they have experienced some of the things in the past that I experience today. My younger friends ask me for advice and I am happy when I am able to use my experience and help them when they experience the same things as me.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
19 Nov 11
I don't really think about age that much when considering new friendships. Friends old and young are worth having in your life. age should not lessen the feeling you have for someone.
1 person likes this
@alilin28 (1527)
• Uruguay
19 Nov 11
hi friend, how are you? to be honest, i dont think that age may be important, I dont know, I have many friends that they are older like 10 or 15 years than me, and I have 5 years younger than me, and that´s okay. I think it would be great because we have different people with different lifestyles and let us to know what they think about an experience, and shows us different points of view about a situation. for me is the most exciting thing having friend with differents ages. I know that sometimes we may not agree with some things they said, but that´s okay, we have differents point of view about an experience. I love have friends older than me. lol! have a nice day
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
24 Nov 11
Yes, when we have friends from different age groups we get different perspectives and we get introduced to different kinds of lifestyles, I think that is one of the big advantages about friends from different age groups. Sometimes my younger or my older friends introduce me to things that I wouldn't have thought about myself because they seen things a different way than I do. I think it is great when we are able to learn from eachother and get introduced to many different kinds of perspectives.
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
18 Nov 11
Sometimes its not that you are trying to say age is the difference in making a friend. Sometimes you would like to have a friend closer to your age group because while we all can basically get along and have fun, younger friends may not understand some of your age era and ways of thinking as having a friend that is closer to your age.
A perfect example is, I have a neighbor that is in her 90's. I am 59. She found out my Gynocologist is a very nice black man. She is from the era in her mind she would never have let someone of that race examine her.
I am 30 years younger than her and race for me is not important but the expertise of care that is given to me.
But every age era has a set of morals and how they had been raised to view decisions.
I can get along with a lot of younger people my age but then I raised 5 children so maybe that assisted in keeping my mind and thinking younger than the average person of my age.
I find it very hard to find someone my age to become a friend to. My mindframe is very broad and when I learn information like even here, I can think about what someone has asked or said and come up with a new opinion that might not have been possible.
We can learn a lot from people of all ages. however sometimes it is just nice to go out with someone closer to your own age to enjoy a movie or lunch.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
19 Nov 11
It is true that there are some things that a person from a different age group would be unable to understand. For instanse if I wanted advice about my marriage, I wouldn't ask a teenager who has never had a relationship because she just wouldn't be able to relate to things I say. I would choose to talk someone my age or older.
Sometimes the way of thinking is different because of the person grew up in a different period like in your example. It reminds me of something I experienced when I was working in the home health care team. One day there was a new nurse, and it was a black man. Most of the patients were shocked, because their mental picture of a nurse was a white female! They talked a lot of this new nurse, because it didn't fit their picture of a nurse. It was a bit strange for me to see how shocked they were, because to me it was no big deal, and I never thought about his gender or his race, I just saw him like a co-worker like everyone else.
1 person likes this
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
25 Jan 12
Thank you Porcospino for giving me best response!
I was so humbled with all the responses you recieved on this discussion!
If more people thought as you and I wouldn't our world be so much more peaceful?
1 person likes this
@sunli123 (538)
• China
19 Nov 11
Generally speaking, I don't care about my friends age. But yes, I admit that most of my friends are of my similar age. How to say? The similar age means you can have similar point of view, experience and life value, which are important for making friends.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
22 Nov 11
When I was younger most of my friends were also my age, but today I have friends from different age groups and some of them are younger than me and some of them are older than me. When I was younger most of my friends where people that I know from school and I guess that was the reason they were all about my age. Today have friends from different places: School, work, sports, vacations etc and my group of friends is a mixed group. I like having many different kinds of friends.
@jtj_hello (627)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Matter of factly, it is. When you are with people of the same age bracket as you are, you become more comfortable considering that you have the same likes and you are on the same generation. It is too hard to have a friend who is way older than you since older people have different wants. If you are a teenager, will you go with someone who is on his 40 and call that person a friend? A parent probably but it is just weird that you call that person a friend.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
22 Nov 11
When I was a teenager I didn't have any friends who were 40 years old, and I think that there differences between the teenager and 40-year-old person would be too big to make a friendship work. Today I am 35 and I have friends who are 10 or 15 years younger than me, but that is different from a friendship between a teenager and a person who is 40 years old, because in person in her early 20's is an adult. Despite the age difference it is a friendship between two adults. It makes a big difference to me if the other person is 14 or 20, because 14 is too young for me, and a 14-year-old and I don't have much in common.
@jnh518866 (22)
• China
19 Nov 11
Age is not a problem,as long as interested in with,can talk to ,need not too concerned about age ,you say?
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
21 Nov 11
I don't think that age is very important as long as we have something in common, share the same interests etc. Some of my friends are younger than me and some of them are older than me. When we became friends I never really thought about the age difference between us, it was more important to me to find some people that I liked and some people that I got along with. When I read comment from the woman that I mentioned when I started the discussion I was a little surpriced, and I didn't really understand why age was so important to her, because it is not important to me if we are both adults.
@Momenly (30)
• Lebanon
19 Nov 11
I don't think age plays a factor in my friendships. For instance, I have a 50 years old Japanese friend, and I don't mind having friends younger than me as well. Variation in the age of friends isn't a bad thing. It does actually have its advantages; you get the chance to view and experience the world according to different points of view, which is helpful for building up a complex, profound personality.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
21 Nov 11
That is a good point. I also think that there are some advantages about friends in different age groups, because we can learn different things from them and through our conversations with them we get different perspectives. I don't want to limit myself to friends from a particular age group, I prefer to have friends I my age, friends who are younger than me and friends who are older than me. Sometimes when I need advice about a problem I prefer to speak to people who are older than me because they have more experience than I do.
@mr_pearl (5018)
• India
19 Nov 11
Hi there... Age doesn't really matter. As long as two people can gel up, nothing matters. All it requires is understanding and happines with each other... Age isn't important even in case of love... Love and friendship run on parallel lines.. :-)
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
21 Nov 11
I agree with that. I don't think that age is important in a friendship and I have friends who are both younger and older than me. We get along just fine despite the age difference between us. In love I don't find age in important either. My husband is many years older than me, but long as we love each other and have a good relationship that is all that matters to me.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
Most of the young kids now look for friends their age. Maybe because they can easily find mutual interest. I personally don't choose friends based on age. I have a lot of online friends who are way older than me. I think they are more better to be friends with online rather than younger ones. But I also have young friends.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Nov 11
I also have online friends who are older than me. I am in my 30's and one of my online friends is about 60. We have never met, but we exchange emails and share a lot of things that way. I don't think about the age difference between us when we exchange emails and I don't find it important. It is much more important to me that we are able to share things and that we both enjoy our email conversations.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Nov 11
I agree with that. I don't like to limit myself to certain age groups and I like to have many different kinds of friends, because I feel that I can learn something from everyone and my friends give me new perspectives. I am 35, and I have friends who are younger than me and friends who are older than me. Their personalities are more important to me than their age.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Nov 11
I like the thing you wrote about younger and older friends. I think it is true that we can learn something from friends who are older than us and that younger friends can learn something from us. It is nice feeling to be able to help younger friends and sometimes I can use my bad experiences in a good way, because I can help younger friends who experience the same things today as I experienced in the past. Sometimes my older friends can give me some useful advice, because they have been through some of the things that I experience today.
@almond24 (1248)
• Hungary
19 Nov 11
Age is not important for me in a friendship. I have friends who are much older than me, as well as younger ones. The same age sometimes means more common interest, but many times not. It's funny that I almost never had any friends of my age, always younger or older. It's rather the personality that counts.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
21 Nov 11
I also have friends who are younger or older than me and we get along really well despite the age difference between us. If we have something in common and if we are able to share interests and other things I don't thing that the age is important. My oldest online friend is aboout 25 years older then me and we and we both the enjoy the emails that we exchange, I don't really think about the fact that she is older than me.
@aimhrea (181)
• Philippines
19 Nov 11
i had to check myself in answering this, simply because it was a knee-jerk reaction to answer that no, age doesnt matter but maturity does. but more thinking to it and i find that it does matter, if only for the fact that people of the same age bracket would more often than not be exposed to similar if not identical stimuli like pop culture, issues, etc. this would usually be the cause of generation gaps i think between people that would determine i guess if a friendship would flourish or not i.e. if one can go beyond the generation gap to find common grounds. but on another note, there are times when friendship simply starts with just that feeling of "i like this person"
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
20 Nov 11
That is a good point. People from the same generation have something in common because they grew up during the same time and they experienced the same kind of issues and the same kind of society. They also got small things in common like the songs or movies that they remember from their youth. My generation grew up without the internet for instanse and we had to communicate in other ways and find entertainmnet in other ways. The children who are born today live in a different kind of society in many ways, and there are some differences between us, but I think that we can use those differences in a positive way and learn from eachother.