Will you envy your friend?
By stuckonu
@stuckonu (726)
Philippines
December 14, 2011 5:36pm CST
Have you ever waiting for something that proves to be so elusive - could be a gift, a promotion or a priviledge? What if your friend receives or achieves it instead of you?
That's exactly what happened to me last night. I've been waiting for a priviledge for the last couple of years but instead my friend receives it. He was not really a rival because we can have it both. It's just that he got it, but not me. So, it was a mixed emotions for me - I am both happy and proud for my friend but at the same time I feel sorry for myself. I know I could have exerted more effort to achieve it. On the other hand, my friend is more than qualified to receive that priviledge. So, I wasn't envious at all. I congratulated him and ask him for a treat! :) I will try my best to achieve the same priviledge in the near future.
Does this scenario sounds familiar to you? What did you feel and do?
2 people like this
11 responses
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
17 Dec 11
Hi!
Yeah, I felt envious of my friends when they got promoted and not me. I was even angry. Well, not to them but to the management. I got a day late in submitting requirements and that was not even my fault, it was theirs. They did not inform all of us on time. My friends were assigned at the head office and I'm assigned in our provincial office so naturally, they get to know everything first and I get to know everything late. In a way, I thought it was really unfair to me.
But I didn't like feeling envious of my friends so I just thought that even though I am much more qualified than them, they have worked longer than me in the company so they deserved the promotion more than me. 
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
23 Dec 11
Yes, you're not the only one. I don't think it's a sin to be envious as long as we don't take it to the next level. I mean, instead of doing bad things because we're envious, we instead use it as an inspiration to better ourselves.
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
18 Dec 11
Speaking of tenureship, this friend of mine who receives the priviledge is younger than me in the organization. So, technically, I am more qualified too if the only basis is tenureship.
However, there are other factors that needs to be considered and I guess he's got the edge over me on those other factors. Plus he's older than me literally.
Thanks for sharing your experience, now I know I am not the only one who feels this way!
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
15 Dec 11
Envy is something that I think that many of us are going to feel just a little bit of, when someone gets something that we wish we could have had. It is wrong, it is selfish, but it is a very human feeling. Of course, it is best not to let the envy get to us, to try and allow us some room to smile, to breath, to really not be upset that it was not us.
Let's face it, just because it was not our turn now, that does not mean that our turn will not come eventually. There are just going to be a lot of times where we tend to get caught off guard. Life is anything but fair a lot of the time. Those who have learned that lesson are going to live a much better and rather sound existence for sure.
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
16 Dec 11
I agree. Human emotions sometimes aren't right. I just hope that I will be able to wait for my turn without losing hope. What makes it worse in my case is that my expectations were somehow set that I may get that priviledge but then it was given to someone else. But since he is my friend, all is well. No harm done. Just venting out my frustrations here. Thanks to all who replied and share their take on this subject.
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
I know it's not right to envy a friend, but sometimes I can't help it. It doesn't mean I'm not happy for my friend. The resentment isn't directed at him but the situation I was placed in. I mean, I'm envious of the whole thing and not the individual person. Actually, I even told my friend that I envy him. I knew our friendship was strong enough not to be ruined by envy :)
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
Yeah, that is what I'm feeling too. I mean, it's good that he receives it but why can't I receive the same priviledge? But, as the other comments pointed out, that's the reality of life. We cannot have everything that we want. But, I'm still happy that he got it. Hopefully, my turn will come in the near future. Thanks for your input.
@luckygrey67 (765)
• Indonesia
15 Dec 11
Sometimes I also feel it. But happened to me is the issue of work. Sometimes I feel that the work is obtained by my friend, is more appropriate for me to get one, because I have greater ability than my friend.
But that's the reality, life sometimes does not correspond with what we expect...
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
21 Dec 11
Right. That's what I'm feeling too. I feel a bit of superior to my friend so when he receives the priviledge instead of me, I was sort of humbled. It makes me think that i may be viewing myself as someone superior but I am not really that. But at the same time, it lowers down my self confidence because i wansn't able to achieve something that my friend has.
@davaome (1826)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
Not really experience something like this before, or maybe I have I just don't remember. I was always a very supportive friend, and when the time comes that we had to face each other, academically, extra curricular activities, or in sports we would be ok with it and show good sportsmanship.
I guess I am not really expecting to much that's why I don't really have that kind of feeling
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
i honestly dont know if i envy my friend because just the same i feel very happy for her. whenever i do "envy" her, a part of me pities myself. i think it is unfair if i do this.
@mercedes2053 (136)
• Davao, Philippines
15 Dec 11
Once in my elementary years...I was graduating then from Elementary. I was supposed to be the Valedictorian...But because I got sick and had not taken the final exams on its fixed Schedule, I just finished next to my friend. Well, that dosed me a feeling of disappointment, but I brushed off the insinuation of envy from my head. I know my dear friend deserved the Valedictorian Honors. I congratulated him and even gave him a graduation garland...
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
15 Dec 11
No it doesn't. I never waited or expected for something like that or needed it.
Perhpas I would bother me nowadays if someone would run out with my ideas as if it are their owns? But envy is something else.
Also I am not waiting or expecting some compliments or whatever from others. I don't need it to feel better, to make my life better or to encourage myself. In the past years I learned that what others are saying, thinking about me or might me reward for is not important to me at all.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
Nothing like it happened to me yet. You're such a sport, you accepted it in a good way. And never felt envious (I'm sure you did not) on the achievement of your friend. That is how we should feel, proud with our friend and happy with the accomplishments/recognition they got. WE just have to avoid expecting more because it;s the reason why we feel a bit frustrated sometimes. The feeling you have is not envy at all, it is just a normal feeling when we feel a bit down because we didn't get our expectations.
@mel0482 (283)
• Philippines
15 Dec 11
In most cases, it's now a big normal thing that one individual would possibly feel. But then again, if it don't meant for me to achieve something, just yet...I know that in the long run, there's somehow something better waiting for me, in its due time. So, keep ur chin up and stay positive despite of any negative you may be dealing with.
