Will You Let A Loved One Know That He or She is Dying?
By Mercedes
@mercedes2053 (136)
Davao, Philippines
December 15, 2011 8:53pm CST
I have a friend, although not as close as I want to perceive but still she puts her trust in me when she confided to me that after several clinical and laboratory tests, the doctors told her that her husband is dying of "colon cancer". This truth of course is concealed from the knowledge of her husband. The painful truth is the Doctor told her that her husband has only six months more to live. In their family, she is the only one who knew this. Their children who are still below their teens are still too young to grasp the reality of life and death. Her in-laws, the parents of her husband is her next target to divulge such painful truth. But she asked me whether to tell her husband about this or just let time flies and wait for the fateful day of her husband's imminent death. What can you advice me so I can also advise my beleaguered friend.
9 responses
@megamatt (14292)
• United States
19 Dec 11
I would prefer not to be the one to break the news. I would think that it would be the best for the Doctor to be the one to do that in fact. And I do wonder if the person who I might in fact tell would really want to know. I would not want to know if I am going to die. I would want to really live my life as much as I can until my plug has in fact been pulled and my number has been called.
Naturally many people are different and this is a situation that cannot be easy no matter any way you slice it. In fact, it really truthfully is the right thing to tell her husband. Of course, there might not be no right well to in fact tell them. It is just something that weighs upon us with a heavy heart when that happens. Yet, it's just the right thing to let them know even if I would have been cursing having been put in that situation if it were me.
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
17 Dec 11
I would definitely let the person know about it, his parents and kids too. This might be devastating for everyone but at least he get the chance to say good bye to everyone. But I understand her because it's really hard to tell it to someone. If she decides to tell him he's dying I am sure she'll broke into tears and that will really hurt her husband coz he will feel how sad it is leaving his family. Our neighbor who just passed away from cancer early this year doesn't know how long she will leave, her family never tell him but she felt it from her body. It's sad, she even called my mom on her last day and requested for her husband to come home early that day.
@investor211 (474)
• Mexico
17 Dec 11
wwoww, i cant imagine how you or your friend most feel right now, its very hard for me to tell any good advice on whats better on this situation, i hope you find the best way to tell the love ones of your friend this painful truth.
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
16 Dec 11
I believe it is his or her right to know that his or her life is to put to end. I know that it would be hard both the family of that person to be informed about this but it is needed to for him or her to be prepared also. So, don't hesitate to tell. Life anyway has endings. Sometimes it is at the wrong time.
@writersolutions10 (497)
• India
17 Dec 11
Yes ofcourse i'll do it. We should not hide any secrets from our loved ones and to me there is no wrong in telling the secrets.
@jsmalong (109)
•
16 Dec 11
Without a doubt, the husband has the right to know the truth about his health condition. In this way, he is better prepared for the final outcome. Maybe there are some issues he would like to resolve like asking someone's forgiveness, or thanking somebody for a kind word or deed, or simply reassuring his love to his family. Things like these that will not bother his conscience and make his final journey peaceful and light.
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
16 Dec 11
i think it is wise to let him know what's going on. it's his right to know things that affect his life, specially if it is going to end his life. what will you say if he asks about the results of those tests? i imagine that it is very hard for him to forgive you if you lie about the tests. by telling him, he can prepare emotionally and psychologically for his departure. do not take that away from him.
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
16 Dec 11
I believe that the husband needs to know. It is his life in the end and I personally would want to know if I am about to die. I think it puts everything in perspective and if I am dying, I would want to say and do things that I want before I will pass away. I know that my thinking is different form her husband but I believe majority of the people of not all will want to know there fate. I will actually feel mad if a family member will keel this secret from. It is like how dare they plan the rest of my life and how dare they dictate what should I do and don't know about what will happen in my life.
@weprosperonline (58)
• Philippines
16 Dec 11
Hello~
I think it is better to let them know. It's hard to accept the truth but they have the right to know most especially the husband. By doing this, he can prepare himself emotionally and physically before his times ran out. This is the time where the husband needs all the support and love of the family. And this is the chance where they can make the remaining life of the husband more meaningful and bond together as one.
