CHRISTMAS: Does it matters to you

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It was the 25th of November 2007 when my father passed away, in just two months after that lost, my grandfather followed. That series of events devastated the whole family and clan as a whole. Looking back when they are both alive, they are both strict in logical ways but i was naive and young then. Every Christmas vacation, we gathered together as a family, with our relatives as a clan. It was messy chaotic and fun at the same time. Now that they are gone, and their absence still lingers within each and member of the family/clan, Christmas is not the same as before. Some of us thinks of monetary expenses during this festivity or hate their relatives and other family member for invading personal property and freedom. I used to feel it several times when the family/clan gather every year. I was a big or the biggest mistake i had done, even with their knowledge. On Christmas day this year i will be alone, spending it with my extended family, friends and people i don't know. How do you want to spent this coming Christmas? Does it matter where you spent it with? or, Christmas does not matter to you anymore...