I wish I were a better listener

Yes this sometimes happens to me. In my case I am usually in the middle of something so I am already distracted or my thoughts are racing around in my head & try as I might I just can't concentrate on whats being said to me. I'm sure that you & I are not the only ones this happens to. I bet a lot of people have a hard time listening to a conversation just because everyone seems to live such a busy lifestyle nowadays. There is always something we ought to be doing, appointments we need to keep, shopping that needs to get done....etc. etc.

Hi PointlessQuestions, I wouldn't worry about it. It has happened to me as well and to others that I know. Blessings.

That happens to me sometimes. Usually I am paying attention to something else at the time. I was explaining to my son that my brain has been very busy running in circles all the time thinking "where will we get money, where will we get money?" and I am so distracted by my brain doing that that I often miss out on stuff. I also put stuff away safely and lose it. I feel that is along the same lines. It is stress.

Is that happened when another speake with you rather than your daughter, i said that because may be you are very practic man with high level of thinking which get you do not interested for listening to the very young people. I try to train my self for being a goog listener to any one saying. When i am taking with my big daughter, She try to take a lot to transfere some ideas in her mind without giving me a chance for replying her. My understand that listening is a skill which need from anyone to develop inside.

You've taken the first steps to be a better listener. You have admitted that you either did not hear, or more probably did not comprehend, what the other person said. You asked her to repeat. T hen you asked for clarification of the points you did not understand. I can only suggest that you need to give your dough her your full attention from the beginning.

Did the neurologist and psychiatrist say anything about this. Or what it could be? How is your hearing, could it be your hearing? I am so glad to hear you do not have Alzheimer's. My Mom had that and Parkinson's. When someone is talking to you, is the TV or a radio on? Sometimes I find that people are distracted when something else is on, or when someone else is also talking besides the person you are trying to have the conversation with. My husband will be totally glued to the TV and not hear anything until a commercial comes on.

hi pointlessquestions I am a lot like that too and no I do not have Alzheimer either. I have heard the words but have not\ really correlated them and have to ask to h ave it repeated. with me I think I have a low level hearing loss for some tones but have not been checked. but again I can listen to my son right in front of em and I understand perfectly but when he talks to me on the phone at times I hear words but am just not getting the meaning until he repeats something again . I dont know what causes this except maybe we just do not hear certain tones and thus the words do not always make sense to us. oooooooooooo

I have a problem with that too. But when this happen to me my mind is on something else while someone is speaking to me. I am not focusing on what they are saying. I guess I really don't be interested. If I were you I would just try to keep my mind on the things that she is saying. Try practicing, they say pratice makes perfect.

In the case of your daughter it is probably conditioning. When kids are young they often talk about the most pointless things. As parents we get to the point that we tune them out because we have more important things to do or think about. Even after they get older the things that matter to them and that they think are world changing are just not that important in the whole scheme of things. So, now that they are adults and really have something to say we have gotten into the habit of tuning them out. My own daughter gets so mad at me for making her repeat things. In fact just a few minutes ago she was saying something something and I only caught the last few words that made me realize she was talking to me. So I asked her what she had said and she asked me why I didn't listen and what was I doing anyway. I told her I was typing in mylot, watching TV, and listening to the kids outside trying to figure out a way to get on the roof to get a toy they had accidentally gotten stuck up there. So, our minds are regularly doing more than one thing at at time so it is no wonder that we don't hear everything that is said to us.

Hi Pointless, when i don't have a good sleep, i do came across this type of problem, too. I felt very tired and unable to listen well to what the person who is talking to me. So, most important is, you need to get enough sleep every night, so able to listen well and in details. As in my grandmother's case, it is different although she sleep enough everyday. Because one of her ear-drums is having problem to collect sounds, since she is very old now. The doctor said, it is hard to repair her ear-drum since it is connected to her eye sight. So, the only problem is, we will need to repeat many times whenever we want to tell her something. Happy Christmas holiday to you and family.

This happens to me all the time, but not because of any health reasons. Over the years, I've been surrounded by people who like to talk. Maybe it's my quiet nature, but family and bosses around me are always fond of talking. Most of the time, to a point where most of the things they say are not really significant (specially in the case of bosses). So, instead of being overwhelmed by all the information, I've thought myself to be a selective listener. To only pick up what's important. But I fail sometimes. Which makes me want to wish that I was better at it.

On a fun side you may be reverting back to being a teenager. Only hearing what you think is important and drowning out the rest. On a more serious side - you write very well and pay close attention to details when reading articles, research material and through emails. So that leaves one thing open, focus. If you are suffering with a lot of pain or have a lot of stress and things on your mind it can force your focus elsewhere making others think you are not paying attention and not being able to repeat in your head verbatim what was being said to you without realizing that you are doing it.