Turning 39 today seriously depresses me
By Robswife2006
@Robswife2006 (1208)
United States
January 4, 2012 12:29am CST
Yesterday I turned 39 years old. I don't celebrate birthdays & haven't for some time. Partly due to my religious beliefs & partly because I no longer want to be reminded of what age I'm going to be & what age I'm leaving behind. My husband who is a few years younger then me can't understand why I would be so upset. He says it's just a number & that my age doesn't matter to him since I still look good to him. Now if your a woman then you know where I'm coming from. At this age we start to look a little bit closer at ourselves in the mirror. We start to notice the gray hairs that weren't there before, the little bit of wrinkles forming around our eyes & the laugh lines around our mouth. No matter how much we try we can't fight back the years. There are no miracle creams or expensive cover-up that can truly hide the wrinkles. True if you can afford it there are surgeries that can slow time down a bit, but not even that can stop it forever. So here I am thinking about how this is the last year that I will be in my 30's & that once I hit forty I will start looking my age. Will my husband still find me attractive? Will he still love me the same? He says he will & that nothing will ever change his feelings for me. He is a good man, so I know he means what he says, but still I can't help thinking that by this time next year I will be 40 & it's that very thought that depresses me.
4 people like this
27 responses
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 12
It will be 15 years more to hit the 40 years old age for me. I don't know how to say it as I can't imagine how will I look like when I am in that age. I don't know wither will I get reach and live till that age. I have no idea. But the physical appearance yes I do worry a bit but when come to think that it is a nature process I don't have to worry. We should appreciate the life and go through every process of it with good feelings.(^^)
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Well said. Perhaps if I lived each day like it were my last then I wouldn't worry so much about getting older.
1 person likes this
@tabatha7 (187)
•
4 Jan 12
I just turned 39 too, not too long ago... and I was a little depressed but not too bad. Age is a state of mind & there are ways to keep yourself feeling young... like starting a new hobby, developing a new interest. And hey, if you don't look your age now, that's great! I doubt it will all hit at once. You will probably always look younger than your age. And your hubby sounds like a great guy. Mine is too! And happy birthday! Hope you will be happier soon. :)
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
I will. I know in a couple of days I will adjust to be 39 & get on with my life. It's just a little depressing knowing that this is the last year of my 30's. I guess I better make the most of it though enjoy being this age while I still can LOL
@periwinklez (138)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
Though your situation is different from mine, I feel you. I'm turning 28 this year and it scares the hell a lot of me because I'm nearing 30's and still don't have a boyfriend!ahahah! when i look at the mirror i wonder if could there be someone out there who will like me 'cause here in our country 25 is the marrying age. And people around me keep asking why still single? it's a fact that men prefer younger women.urgh!
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
9 Jan 12
Next time anyone asks you that question you simply tell them that you haven't found a man that you love enough to marry yet...LOL I was 34 when I met & married my husband & trust me he was well worth the wait. I didn't care that some people thought me an old maid because I wasn't married yet. I was not going to settle just for the sake of being married. I knew if there was someone out there for me then somehow, somewhere I would find him & I would know it almost immediately. I was right. My husband & I were married 6 months after we met. We just celebrated our 5th anniversary this past Oct. I love him as much now as I did then. So don't allow anyone to push you into marriage just for the sake of being married. When you find the man your supposed to be with you will know it & you will see as I did with my husband that he was well worth the wait.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
4 Jan 12
i know what you mean. i turned 59 in 2011 and while i am not depressed, it makes me sad that i am not as young as i used to be and am starting to get aches and pains.
your hubby sounds like mine, very sweet and supportive. do something that you have always wanted to do as a gift to yourself. start crocheting, go sky diving!, pick a new hobby, get a new pet, something just for you.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Now that is the best idea ever. I like the way you think 
I think I will take your advice & do just that. Thank you very much.
I think I will take your advice & do just that. Thank you very much.
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
6 Jan 12
I look at Birthdays as your husband does. For one I have never lied about my age and to me it is only a number. When I turned 59 it was just another number. Now I will be 60 soon. I have some white hair, which I am actually starting to like at times. My skin is changing, but it is suppose to. I look younger for my age as my Grandmother did and so did my Mother. Which is a blessing. I figure if I have some wrinkles, etc., I earned each and everyone of them including the white hairs.
All you can do is take care of what you have, hair, skin, etc., and it will be good to you.
Your husband loves you for who you are, and will love you no matter what. You both are growing older together. Enjoy it.
Happy Birthday!
1 person likes this
@MaryLynn321 (2680)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Your husband sounds like a very loving man and that he cares for you no mater what your health conditions are or how old you are. He fell in love with You!
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Thank you. I think that's what helps me the most, knowing that no matter what my husband not only still loves me but still finds me attractive as well.
1 person likes this
@BeInspired (44)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I do not feel like you and I'm 38 years old. I think that the whole 30's thing has been great. I am no longer in my 20's. I am much wiser. I have learned so much in my 30's that I'm excited to see what awaits me in the 40's!
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
That's a very positive attitude to have. I hope in time I can feel the same way as you do. I will try to anyway.
@godjuvah (50)
• Philippines
6 Jan 12
hi there.all of us will come to that age so dont be sad,just think of the fact that you are not alone.me,im turning 30 this month and not yet married but im hoping for the best thing would come.just pray and be positive.cheers!
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I do have a tenancy to be negative about everything including my age. This is something I most definitely need to work on. Thank you.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
6 Jan 12
Personally I can understand why getting older, and almost 40 can be depressing you, especially if there are things in your life you know you have not accomplished yet and feel that you are falling behind. For me many times when this happens, it is more of a wake up call, and like God telling me I need to put more Faith and trust in him and not give up on my Dreams of life. 40 is not a Bad age, and for many just the start of a New beginning. Hope you had a wonderful birthday and an awesome New Year as well.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
Thank you. I know you are right. One of the things I would like to do is to set some goals for myself. Things I want to do but have not yet done.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
5 Jan 12
happy birthday sorry one day late :)
I used to worry about the same thing when I reached 30
but as soon as I learned to love myself, I am not bothered anymore
all I care about is staying healthy, pursue my goals and enjoy life
if a man doesn't love me for who I am well he doesn't have a place in my life :)
I hardly wear make ups. if anything face moisturizer and lip balm
very rare I apply eye shadow and powder, mascara and lipstick
I know that going under knife for beauty is never going to happen to me LOL
I'd rather spend the money to fix my eye sight when I get older
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I don't have the time or the patience to put on my make-up. I do however wear lipstick, but that is all I ever wear. I see these older woman sometimes wearing a ton of make-up & I can help thinking that it must take them a couple of hours to get all that stuff on their face & then again when they have to take it all off. Just seems like a waste of time to me.
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
9 Jan 12
Thank you. Your right. I know how fortunate I am to have a husband who loves me no matter what. That is a very rare thing, especially nowadays.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
5 Jan 12
I think I had that same thought (that I can't stop getting older anymore) when I turned 39. Then I lived through that year dreading turning 40. It then came and went, and I realized that I was still the same. I could still pass for a high school student (if I dyed my hair, and did a million sit ups). Then 41 came and it was more of the same.
So now, I'm at a suspended-dread for 40's. Maybe in a couple of years I'll learn to accept it. And when I do, I'd start dreading turning 50.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
My husband said that when the people he worked with first met me they all thought I was in my late 20's or early 30's. They were shocked to hear how old I was. That made me feel really good. I guess getting older wont be so bad, just as long as I don't start looking my age. That's the scary part of getting older I think.
@marie2052 (3691)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Oh sweetie its just a number. Remember the good and throw out the bad!
I am 59 and will be 60 this year. Only thing depresses me is I used to be so active in work and now I am disabled. But for now I still have my mind, and able to craft so I am good to go.
Don't dwell on negativity and you will see something good in each day.
Life is what you make of it.
And life is very short with such a busy lifestyle we have today.
So if nothing else, do ONE thing good for yourself each day.
Whether its sitting on the phone with a good friend, seeing a movie, reading a book you have been wanting to read, even play with your baby or children (if you have a family)
Take your spouse, or best friend and go out for dinner or lunch.
Don't make a number depress you for it to be just about you.
Unfortunately we all have a shelf life so to speak. We just never know when the shelf life will end. Thats up to the man upstairs.
Have a beautiful day! I added a photo so you can see how peaceful you can become by just enjoying a simple picture.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Thank you for both your words & your photo. You(along with everyone else that commented on this discussion)have given me much to think about. I should be grateful that I have lived 39 years, that I have my health & a husband that loves me & sees me as beautiful. I have so much to be grateful for. Thank you all so much for cheering me up. I really needed the encouragement.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
Don't be depressed about getting older my friend. Have it as a motivation for you to maintain your beauty. Get enough exercise , because it's said to keep one young and sexy. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and drink lots of water, because they keep the skin smooth and younger looking always. Be optimistic and always feel happy. Take vitamin supplements that are anti-oxidants such as vitamin E, C & Fish oil.
Don't fret about unnecessary things such as getting old, because you have your husband who assures you that he will be with you as you both grow older. So, work in keeping your love alive.
Most of all, always smile to keep you always younger looking and pray for your marriage to be always going okay. Take it from me my friend.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
All very good advice. Advice that I plan to take. Thank you very much.
@mohkanari (1957)
• India
6 Jan 12
There is a saying that real enjoyment of life is after 40s. There were discussions on it a few days ago. So please be happy by that saying.
1 person likes this
@stuckonu (726)
• Philippines
5 Jan 12
As the old saying said "Life begins at 40," so your hardly live. :) I agree with your husband, age is just a number, it won't matter in the future when people will be more than million years of age but look like teenagers. Not celebrating birthday eh?... Interesting. we might have the same religion.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
7 Jan 12
I think it sounds as if we do LOL. Your right. Some day when we are thousands of years old it wont even matter what age we are because we will all have stopped aging. I look forward to that day & that's just one of the reasons why.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Your husband's feelings won't change and it's silly to think they will. He didn't marry you for your looks. I have changed a lot since I first met my husband. I gained a lot of weight, had a lot of kids, let myself go for a long time, grew facial hair (thanks mom).. but he still says I look exactly like I did when he first met me 12 years ago when I was 19/20, thin, and never left the house without make up.
It's his love for me that makes him see me that way. Of course I have changed, but when you love someone you don't notice their looks or their minor flaws.
As for the aging.. yeah, I get depressed about it too. Not because I'm starting to look older (and consider yourself lucky because I'm not even 32 yet but have a head full of gray hairs, and loads of wrinkles already). It's hard to explain, but I just don't like aging at all. You forget to cherish certain things until it's too late.. and one day you wake up and wish you could get those years back, but they're gone. I think if it were up to me I'd turn aging off for awhile and just appreciate things as they are right now.
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Thank you for your encouraging comment. I know you are right & that I have to take each moment, each day as it comes. I guess there is no way to stop time or to even slow it down, so I should stop complaining & be grateful for each day that I'm given. Most of the time I try to keep that in mind, but sometimes I can't help but be reminded of my age whenever I happen to look into a mirror. Perhaps there is a way to cover up all the mirrors in my house? I will look into this 
@bookreadermom08 (5614)
• United States
4 Jan 12
I turned 40 a couple months ago, had my last baby when I was 39, and yes there are days when it hits you that your are the age you are. This will pass, and then we will find another age milestone that will shock us worse than the past milestones like when we hit 25 and though wow, we are a quarter of century... hit 30 and thought wow how did that happen... hit mid thirties and thought maybe its time to start using Olay anti wrinkle cream.... and then the dreaded 40, which really if you think about it....is the new 20. 
As long as we stay active, feel good, have 2 eyes that work, 2 ears that hear, have all our senses, can walk and talk and still laugh....life is good!!! Its not the age we are suppose to look at...after all they say we are only as old as we feel...but what we make of our lives is what is important.
So have a drink, of your choice of course, toast yourself and look forward to another great year ahead!!!
Happy Mylotting!!
As long as we stay active, feel good, have 2 eyes that work, 2 ears that hear, have all our senses, can walk and talk and still laugh....life is good!!! Its not the age we are suppose to look at...after all they say we are only as old as we feel...but what we make of our lives is what is important.
So have a drink, of your choice of course, toast yourself and look forward to another great year ahead!!!
Happy Mylotting!! 1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Thank you very much. Again another fellow MyLotter is right. Thank you for the encouragement. I really do appreciate it.
@HONEYPALS (270)
• Nairobi, Kenya
4 Jan 12
Smile..Smile...smile...smiling keeps off rinkles...frowning sets in rinkles... Look at the moon, it brightens the night, and it is really beautiful...look at the sun with all its power...look at the mountains with all their beauty...look at the oceans with all their vastness...and then look at yourself in a mirror...y o u 'r s t i l l t h e m o s t b e a u t i f u l...t h e m o s t a w e s o m e c r e a t r e t h a t t h e C R E A T O R h a s e v er i n v e n t e d. H a p p y b i r t h d a y!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
LMBO Thank you very much. That's a very good way of looking at it.
@carlotay123 (213)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
You shouldn't be depressed my friend, but you should thank God cuz you reached that age. Many people didn't reach that age because of accidents, sickness , etc . Yor are luck and blessed because God gave you the opportunity to live longer and reach that age . God Bless you my friend and Happy Birthday ^^
1 person likes this
@nethwork (31)
• Philippines
4 Jan 12
Hi Robswife2006,
Don't worry and be sad about your age. Just be thankful to our Elohim Almighty for He has given you another year to cherish and live. You are so blessed for not everyone has been given that kind of opportunity, you know, adding one (1) to your age...It means that you are gaining more wisdom and understanding to life. It's not about the looks that matters, it's in the spirit inside you that counts...Think about the things you need to be thankful to our Creator. Cheer up!
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Thank you. That is very true. When I think about what some people are going through w/ one natural disaster after another occurring where they live, or an illness that robs them of life, or being in an accident that takes their very lives then your right I am not only grateful for being able to say I made it to another year but I also feel ashamed for having complained at all.
@lifes97 (884)
• United Arab Emirates
4 Jan 12
if your husband loves yiou he will find you attractive and love you regardless whats happening to you,because love is not attractive, its really deeper than that, its a long live together its living the up and down, thats love and thats what make two people together for a long life. if you will think of age it will make you sad, but think of the nice think that you can enjoy and accept life as it is and trust yourself that you are pretty regardless how old are you
1 person likes this
@Robswife2006 (1208)
• United States
4 Jan 12
Thank you for your very encouraging words. That is very sweet of you to say that & I'm sure that my husband would agree with you.
