... a jobless friend borrowing some money!

That's a big amount of money. Where is she gonna use that? She should at least tell you why she's gonna need such amount since you're friends with her. When we needed a big amount before, we tell the person where exactly the money is gonna be used for. And there is a collateral - like our land title would be given just to give security to the person that we are really gonna pay her. It's risky lending money to someone with that money especially if she has no job. Where is she getting money to pay you back? And yeah you're husband is working hard for that money. If she didn't pay it back I am sure this will be an issue with you and your husband.

One the first place , why would you lend to a jobless friend and have known her standing when it comes to debt. Maybe, if it's just a small amount, yes you can because at least when she doesn't pay it will not hurt your finances so much.

I think that there are few people in the world to whom I would lend money and for very special reasons too. It seems that she is not so close to you if she did not tell you right away why she needed that amount

jobless for 4 years? what she did for the entire 4 years asking and begging? if ever i lost my job and be jobless for just a month im already worried abut myself and i cant stay at home until i will get a job to support myself as my parents are done with me when they supported me until i graduated college and its my responsibility now to look for a job for me to support myself, i never asked any of my friends for any money i might asked from my parents but not to other people as i dont want to disturb anyone with my own problem. you can tell her if every you have money that you lend it to one of your relatives whose in badly needed as an excuse and you also give some to your parents nor your husband parents so she will not expect something though of course be still nice to her by accepting her to your home with warm welcome as she she still need a friend but you can tell her that all you can give is just emotional support right now as you also have your own family now.

The incorporation of money with friends and family is such a bad idea, in my own opinion. This interferes with the future relationship. She is known to be a not good payer so why the need for her to get reinforcement from your husband where, in the first place, you denied her request. The amount that she was borrowing is not a joke. Although, she may be are experiencing some unanticipated problems and can have one hundreds on a done excuses for not paying it back, this will leaves you as the loaner in a bad place. If I had helped someone and they had not kept their promise to return my money back when they said they would then I shouldn't waste my time entertaining them. It may sound selfish of me to say NO, but sometimes you need to think of yourself, your family, etc.. You can't be the only Friend in her life who can help her and you do have enough to deal with your own family.

That's a big amount of money. But as you said, She doesn't have the means to pay it. So why bother to lend her. And she has no good standing with regards to debt. If your friend was not able to pay 1000 then probably, she's not able to pay 50,000. Maybe you can just advise her to go to a lending company or something. or just tell her in a nice way that you don't have enough money to lend. And you're going to do something with your savings.

I was also in the position of being desperate to borrow money, but I never asked a person who's struggling for an income to help. I went to people well situated and always gave back whatever I borrowed. I worked even 4 jobs at a time and needed the extra money (complicated). Your friend is not working, Is she married, does her husband work, can she give you any assurance that she'll pay back? You only are in the position to tell her yes or no, also you don't have to agree to help with the whole amount, maybe you can afford something, and you'll tell her the amount.Your conditions.

You should take car in lending money to someone without a present form of employment. the chances are very likely that you will not see your money returned to you. The loan could end up as a gift at the espense of your finances and your friendship.

Did she tell you what she needed the money for? This is quite a big amount of money to give. Once I gave some mmoney to a friend who claimed he needed them and will pay back as soon as possible.I gave it just because he was my "friend" and I relied on him but I didn't get my money so now I sometimes feel sad for refusing to give money to anyone but I just cannot.And why is your friend jobless for such a long time? Usually when people need money they just go to work.

Hello Lhenni, I have been in the situation like yours in the past as one of my closed friend too asked me to lend some money and that time i was really moved to see his situation and gave money to him and no doubt he returned my money after long time but that's for sure i got my full money back from him once he got the job. But really its always a risk to lend money to anyone when he/she is jobless and not in a situation to return it back and this is also an irony when we see someone so closed in such situation it become hard to deny him/her for any help/support.

No you are not mean or selfish. You are right with your reasoning. She has lots of nerve to even ask you. She does not have a job so how does she expect to repay the loan. Just tell her that you are not a bank.

you and your husband really have no choice but to say no. being unemployed for 4 years is a long time, i wonder if there are any underlying reasons for that. sometimes people become unemployed because they find the sort of social situations in workplaces too stressful to handle, for all sorts of complicated reasons. maybe, for example, she had very critical parents, or something like that. you would help her far more by trying to work out the problems she has in working than you would by ruining your friendship with her by lending her money she can't pay back.

I think your friend is just taking advantage of your friendship. I am sorry to say this about your friend but 50K is a lot of money and I know that you and your husband work very hard to be able to come up with this amount. It would be best to just tell her that you don't have extra money that you can lend to her. You have to talk to your husband about this so that you will have one decision and say regarding this matter. I don't want to be judgmental but I remembered my uncle who said that those who are always borrowing money is the one who are most likely not going to pay for it. They are so used in borrowing money from every person they know without thinking of ways on how to pay for it. Your friend may not be that kind of person but lending her money is not helping her. You can instead help her find ways to be able to find a decent job which will help sustain her and her family.

If you back her up and she doesn't pay it back this may cause friction between you and her and you and your husband. You need that money too or else you and your husband wouldn't be working. You are not being selfish by questioning this. You are being realistic. It is selfish of her to ask this much money when you are working hard to earn it and she isn't likely to pay it back since she has a bad track record and no job for 4 years. It is also disrespectful of her to ask for it and not tell you why she needs it. If she truly needs that much, why cant she borrow some of it from you and some from other people? She probably has already burned bridges with everyone else. I don't lend money to family or friends because I've had friendships suffer in the past when I expect them to pay it back and they don't. So now, if I have it and can afford it, I just give the money to friends/family with no expectations of ever getting it back that way I wont be hurt or angry if they don't repay it. But, I can't afford to give or loan anyone $1162.00. I'm so glad that I don't have people in my life who'd have the audacity to ask for that much money when they know that I can't afford it.

Money is hard to come by these days and I am sure your friend will understand if you and your husband decline her request. I don't borrow money from people even in the direst of circumstances. I will try and see if I can raise the money first on my own without having to disturb people with my financial problems. Unless it were an emergency (hubby in the hospital, or my brothers and we're broke). This is the reason why I invest in jewelry so that if ever I need money badly, I can always pawn some pieces. But try to know first where your friend will use the money. If it is for a business venture, check first on it's feasibility. If she cannot really explain where and how she will use it, then decline gracefully.

Hello Lhenni, I remember asking a friend to loan me 10,000 for a useless Network Marketing Crap. I am glad he refused me because I was out of my mind and now i realized that money shouldn't be part in friendship. I think she is out of her mind if she thinks she can convince you all to borrow her money.

All i could say is that i feel sorry for these people. Their life is a cycle that they couldnt break free from. I have an officemate who owes almost everybody in the office. I dont know how her debt all started though. It is a lot harder because she is the breadwinner in the family (you know, the typical sad fates of the eldest filipino siblings). She owes me almost 20k and when i would follow-up with her, she would then narrate the story of her family which would only mean... i cant pay you yet. The irritating part of these type of people is that they would borrow money from someone else just to pay off another debt from an angry lender. It is a cycle and it never ends.

I think your friend should also be considerate of your situation. I have a number of friends who always ask me for money but I also tell that I am also working hard for my own keep. It;s not an excuse - it's reality. I don't wish to be a deadweight to my parents or to any of my relatives. I also don't consider it selfish since I have many plans for my own money like investments and savings. It's not only for me but also for my own family. No matter how much I love my friend, I think i can help her more if I try to help her find a job and work for her money. I don't think you're being mean - you're just being realistic. First, I think it would be better if she discloses a reason for such a huge amount of money. she may lie but at least you know that your hard-earned money isn't gonna end up in gambling or any unsavory activities. Your;e entitled to know since it is your moeny first before it becomes hers 9if you do lend her). Regarding to her reputation when it come sto debt, I think it would be wise to do a little white lie. I'm not really comfortable in giving a huge amount without no guarantee or effort that it will be paid back. Money don;t grow on trees or comes in rains. We work hard to earn it - it's time she knows that too.

That's a lot of money lhen. We can't earn that money in just a blink of an eye.And since you said she have a bad reputation when it comes to lending,i think you will just do the right thing.Why lend someone big bucks when you know she will not be able to repay. Don't feel guilty Lhen,we also need money for our family.Maybe if she have job and you have money to spare and you know that she will pay,maybe then you can give her a hand.but as to your description of her,i think its just right to not give her what she needs.

1162 really ? thats alot