Digging into a Christian's mind...
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
January 19, 2012 9:27pm CST
So I permamently lost a Christian friend on my facebook, in fact he and his wife blocked me. Before he blocked me on his MSN he told me that there's nothing but foolishness on my facebook wall, that he only comes to facebook to be edified in the Lord, and that other people has said things that offended him. He also implied that I"m not really a Christian and was upset that I wouldn't take people off of my facebook when he asked me to.
Fine.
I have good friends on my Facebook. I start heavy issues and discussions, to challenge people and to make them think. I refuse to kick people off my facebook simply because of one person saying he doesn't like who I interact with. He's in another province, I have my own husband to answer to, and even Hubby think he's kinda harsh on me.
I understand that non-Christians will attack Christian's faiths. As a Messianic Jewish believer, I have mainstream Christians attack my Messianic Jewish faith. I don't think I want to just kick them off my list just becuase they disagree with me or I disagree with them. I understand perfectly that not everyone will share the exact same belief system, which in the long run makes it even more fun, educational, and challenging for all of us. I myself feel like I learn from listening and reading intelligent conversation and even simply hearing other people's viewpoints.
I admit I'm a bit hurt by how the couple went around doing this. He's been Hubby's friend for a good 25 years. He's older in the faith than I am, so wouldn't that make him stronger and firmer in his beliefs?
3 people like this
13 responses
@twdman (2)
• United States
20 Jan 12
Hang in there. Being a Christian does not mean separating yourself from the those who don't see things the way you do. After all, how can anyone become a Christian unless there is someone who is willing to discuss and debate the issues and questions they have as they seek out truth. Christ himself put down the practice of separating yourself from non-believers. He practiced having conversations and discussions with those who did not believe. That's why you find one of the criticism leveled against Him was, "he associates with publicans and sinners".
Secondly, since when does any Christian have the authority to attack another Christian because they are of Jewish heritage. A believer in Jesus as the Son of God, the promised Messiah is the basis for all Christians regardless of heritage or backgrounds. Christians who become critical of other Christians are guilty of dividing the very 'body of Christ', His church. Just because I'm of one denomination and you're of another, and we have differences in certain beliefs and practices, as long as we have this core belief in Christ and who He is, we never should do anything to divide God's church. Look at I Corinthians 3. The Apostle Paul addresses issue.
2 people like this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
21 Jan 12
I really do like your response. It's generally common courtesy to respect people and to treat others the way you want to be treated. I think for many Christians they want to create a utopia of sorts and only associate with people that believe like them and all that, but well we live in the here and now and heaven is in the future, so we should allow sinners into our lives, or people of different faiths in our lives, maybe we can help them see the Truth or not, but pushing our faith onto others is only going to push people away.
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
21 Jan 12
How do non believers learn of Christ if believers refuse to tell them?
"Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil. And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned." Matthew 12:33-37 NASB
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
21 Jan 12
What about you and your other Christian friends? Do they agree with him?
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
21 Jan 12
He does tell them, he's in music ministry and his wife has the spirit of discernment but the problem is, it's his way or the highway. He won't put up with foolishness, and he thinks my posts are foolishness because I address serious issues that is shrouded by a lot of traditions stemming from various fears. I guess there's a point where a Christian can "dust the dirt off his sandels and move to the next house" type thing but does that mean cutting off other people with harsh feelings? I don't know. I know people lash out because they're been hurt by Christians in the past, and I can understand that. Not saying their lashing out is right, though, but still, what if every Christian goes and get mad and blow up and all that whenever someone reacts to be hurt, or is suspicious, or need more debating than normal, usually when a non-Christian lashes out they're actually searching for truth. I know myself I did that when I was backslidden and an agnostic a few years back.
I guess I'm a bit confused, but still, it hurts to see a brother in our Messiah just cut off a friendship just because he couldn't stop fighting with my facebook friends. Sorry, got into another rant. I found out the hard way that us Christians need the skin of a rhino's hide sometimes heh heh.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
21 Jan 12
Most the people on my facebook thinks he's a fanatical and off-the-wall a bit. I don't know. Hubby said he's changed a lot since he last seen him many years ago, like felt a change in him, gut instinct type thing. There wasn't this joyous reunion or anything when we all met this summer.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
20 Jan 12
Bizzare, if he wants to be edified in the Lord, Facebook is an odd choice of places to look!
all the best urban
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
To me, facebook is a connection for personal friends and family members to keep up with each other's news. That's what I use my facebook for anyway. And also for discussion and sharing of ideas. But the dude says that he has no problem blocking even family members because they attack his faith. Well people who do that are often seeking truth themselves, and they do ask harsh questions and "troll" a bit to get their answers. Others lash out because they been hurt by Christians. Not really acceptable in societal standards but I can definitely understand where they're coming from because I myself backslid into an agnostic stage and lashed out at christians as well.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
20 Jan 12
Sounds like his faith is weak to react so vehemently
all the best urban
1 person likes this
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
20 Jan 12
From what you have told us, I don't think this "friend" is such a great loss. We are all mere humans. We are going to agree on some things and disagree on others. I have a problem with people that degrade others that don't believe quite the same as they do. I think that it is wrong for us to question another person's faith. We are not suppose to judge.
I like a good debate, I must admit, but when you decide to cut someone else out of your life because they or their other friends don't conform exactly to your ideals, then you have just gone too far.
You would think that he would be more loving and forgiving of what he is perceiving as your sins if he has been in the faith longer.
Please do not take this as judging your faith, but as a sincere question to gain some understanding of it. What exactly is a Messianic Jewish Christian? What are your fundamental beliefs? I find other denominations interesting. I am presently attending an Advent Christian Church though I do not profess to be of that denomination (or any other one). I think it is only important that we believe in God and do as He wills us to do.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
20 Jan 12
Thank you for the link. I will check it out later this evening (I am at work right now, and was just checking in on mylot "real quick like". I love to research and learn about different people, places, cultures, and religions. I just find it all so facinating.
1 person likes this
@hvedra (1619)
•
20 Jan 12
" that he only comes to facebook to be edified in the Lord"
On Facebook? Really? I think he has missed the point of a) social networking sites and b) Christianity.
If what you or anyone else puts on FB is bothering him he is free to ignore it, remove you from his friends list or delete his account what purpose does it serve whining about it and saying (in effect) that you aren't a good enough Christian for him to hang around with. How precious he seems to think himself.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
21 Jan 12
Well, I suppose he's not emotionally able to withstand attacks on his faith. He even said that he has no problem deleting his family members who attack his faith. I've personally had my faith attacked in online debate chat rooms and even was an agnostic for a while, but came back to Christianity and I feel like I can handle these types of opposition.
I wish I can crawl into his brain and figure out what he's thinking. Stuff like this simply ain't worth losing friendships over.
1 person likes this
@Triple0 (1904)
• Australia
20 Jan 12
Some people take their beliefs way too seriously, that's how they lose their friends. I'm Christian too but I never bring up my religious beliefs in a friendly conversation because it's quite unnecessary. I have a group of friends who I am very close to and they all have different religious beliefs to me. I have a few atheist friends and they too have very good morals too similar to mine. I find religion more of a personal thing and bringing it up causes arguments and conflicts and I don't like that. Everyone will have different views believing what they believe is the truth but we don't know what the truth is. So I rather keep my religion to myself and leave it out in all my conversations. We should accept what others believe too and respect them. 
But some religious people are simply too firm in their beliefs that they have to voice it out for everyone to know.
But some religious people are simply too firm in their beliefs that they have to voice it out for everyone to know. @Masihi (4413)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
Well, someone who is in music ministry and his wife has the gift of discernment and both are active in the church big time...I would think they are in fact stronger in the faith, and yes I do agree that faith is serious but wow, the condemning part really threw me off. I been told that I'm a liberal in my faith LOL
When I first became a Christian 18 years ago I did push my religion on people and pushed them away, including my biological family. I don't ever want to be that person again. Now I realise that a coerced faith isn't a true faith.
Anyway, this is definitely a learning experience for me
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
I agree with triple. It's better not to bring up religion among people who are like this person you have told us about. Anyway, if he acted that way, he doesn't worth all that much seeing that he can abandon you so easily like this.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
Well, normal people would get over the fact that people have differing opinions. I have people on my facebook who are Catholic, Atheist, Seventh Day Advent, Pentecostal, Pagan, Messianic Jew, Orthodox Jew, Muslim, and probably a buncha other religions and faiths. For the most part my fb friends are respectful and I do learn a lot. Heck I even have one FB friend who I discuss Islam with and I'm learning a lot from him. I don't agree with their theology and he doesn't agree with mine but we have peaceful, intelligent conversations and we don't fight. So ya, getting all worked up because I'm not strict enough in my own faith is a silly expectation. I would expect more maturity than that coming from someone older than me in the faith. After all, we do worship the same Messiah!
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jan 12
Okay, now I know what you were doing while I was gone yesterday..
LOL
I am going to have to make you a "close" friend, because I seem to miss your little "discussions"
This reminds me that in my Communications class this week, we have to write a couple paragraphs on "co-culture" and that is what we are, we are a small culture where we have our own way of talking,(Y'shua or YHVH for example) and beliefs, so different from mainstream Christianity. So guess what I am writing on? Yep, my faith and it will be interesting to see what responses I get, especially when I have a friend in this class, one I met in another class last year. She is a believer in Jesus, and knows I am too, but I don't think she quite understands where I stand.
As for your question, "He's older in the faith than I am, so wouldn't that make him stronger and firmer in his beliefs?" The answer is a big fat NO This is because of a couple things. 1. He is steep into tradition, and if one is so embedded in tradition that when they hear the truth, they can't see the light. which brings me to the second reason. 2.They are blind and prideful, they can't see the truth because their pride in getting in the way..@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jan 12
That reminds me, when I wrote the word "tradition" Seems the movie, "Fiddler on the Roof" is something both people in Judaism and Christianity can relate to.. After all, if they can't see past what "man" brought in, then they won't understand what G♥d really meant...
After all, if they can't see past what "man" brought in, then they won't understand what G♥d really meant...1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
20 Jan 12
Yes it is sad, and ironic the guy's name is Mark..remember the friend I told you about? With the girl washing the car? His name is Mark, yet so far he hasn't made any comments on what I post..
Oh, and you may have already seen this, but I tagged you in a photo I thought you'd like..Fair warning though, when you read the headline where I shared what my friend said about the photo, don't have anything in your mouth, I almost spit out my coffee when I read what she wrote..
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
22 Jan 12
Hi Masihi, You are right, we must never let others, no matter how right they think they are, make such decisions for us. Just because he is older in the faith doesn't make him wiser. We are all different and I don't try to make choices for my friends. They may be atheists, Muslims, Hindu, Buddhists or any religion including one of ten thousand different Christian denominations. I enjoy diversity and know that we should not even want to change others, they must live their own lives. Certainly, I will not let another choose my facebook friends. Blessings.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
Ha ha I have to laugh as I'm imagining a 50-year-old man in kids clothing running down the street yelling at the top of his lungs! Oh dear terrible for me to say, but I couldn't help this image.
Strangely enough, I don't find this rejection bothersome like I used to find rejection, perhaps I'm changing and maturing, I don't know, before I used to get into anxiety attacks and everything.
If the 2 kids come back and request my friendship, I'll accept the back. I'm not changing for them, except to be polite and stuff like that. Common courtesy stuff.
Oh dear terrible for me to say, but I couldn't help this image.
Strangely enough, I don't find this rejection bothersome like I used to find rejection, perhaps I'm changing and maturing, I don't know, before I used to get into anxiety attacks and everything.
If the 2 kids come back and request my friendship, I'll accept the back. I'm not changing for them, except to be polite and stuff like that. Common courtesy stuff.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
20 Jan 12
I had the same experience as you on fb. I am not a christian but I do respect other people. Christians (all kind of), moslim, pagan I don't care as long as they treat me well.
Personally I will NEVER understand why christians, people who say they believe, always feel insulted if others don't believe what they believe.
It's clear to me you can't discuss religion with most people, same with politics. People who believe strongly in one idea don't have an open view on other believes, people, point of views. To me this means you prefer to stay blind and only want to say what is safe for you, what you can deal with.
Being a christian, believing, have faith should mean you treat all people the same, you are full of love (not hate), you are so sure about god, love, heaven you don't feel threatenend by those who don't share your believe/perspectives.
I can only advise you: let it go. These people have a lot to learn. They are still not able to live by the 10 rules (envy, jealousy, hate is what drives them to behave the way they do plus they are afraid!).
There are plenty of christians open for a good discussion, able to respect and like you for the person you are.
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
Religion, here we go again... LOL!
They probably did it for selfish reasons or to avoid conflict permanently. It probably is the best thing they have done. If they had not blocked, it would be harder not to get annoyed with their talk.
That person does not have the right to say who is Christian and who is not, and neither did he have the right to 'order' you to remove some people from facebook. He can suggest but not order. Since his order was not followed, then he left. Good riddance, for all I care. 
Sorry, just being frank. 
Yes. Being with many different people can help us share knowledge and expand it. We become wiser, be also learn the art of acceptance. This is not about who is right or wrong, I think it's about standing in one's own beliefs despite the many oppositions! It's about spirituality, not religion. It's not just about God, it's about us getting in touch with our spirit and learning how to deal with other people who don't agree with us.
Why do they have to force their way into people who is not willing to listen to them? Why do they bother arguing when it is just a waste of time unless it is an open discussion where all ideas are taken into account. Why do they have to be so freaking stubborn? I think they are being stubborn, not being faithful.
Sorry, just being frank.
Yes. Being with many different people can help us share knowledge and expand it. We become wiser, be also learn the art of acceptance. This is not about who is right or wrong, I think it's about standing in one's own beliefs despite the many oppositions! It's about spirituality, not religion. It's not just about God, it's about us getting in touch with our spirit and learning how to deal with other people who don't agree with us.
Why do they have to force their way into people who is not willing to listen to them? Why do they bother arguing when it is just a waste of time unless it is an open discussion where all ideas are taken into account. Why do they have to be so freaking stubborn? I think they are being stubborn, not being faithful. 1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
20 Jan 12
It's okay, I don't mind you being frank and open with me because you're doing so respectfully. He blocked me cuz this fella who has been hurt by Christians in the past lashed out at him and called him name and I didn't see the last end of the exchange until it was too late. I do try to keep tabs on my discussions and sometimes I do have to delete some conversations because they get out of hand, so ya in a way I do feel bad for not catching the name calling. Maybe the dude is stubborn, I don't know, I do know he and his wife are active in the church and all that, very strict Westeyen followers, both filled with the Holy Spirit, whole family in music ministry, so ya he and his family are more spiritual than my family. That's why I was thrown off by his actions. Oh well, people come and people go. such is life.
@solution1993 (52)
• Nigeria
20 Jan 12
it is hard to interrupt to dis discussion, 'cos no matter how strong u're! some1 can fall in faith even by a little kid, many as fallen on d internet, our prayer is we should not see some1 dat will pour palm oil to our white garment.
may be they hv been noticing slight changes in there faith or their is one way or the other u've been coaxing them, which they feel prevention is better dan cure.
