My friend is a mistress and I can't talk her out of it :(

Dont feel sorry for yourself. The girl is mature enough make decisions for herself and she made the choice to be a mistress to a married man. She will eventually get what she deserves and remember all that you told her.

Wow...what a situation. :( Does your friend fully understand what's going on? :( I don't think you're a bad friend. I mean I would do the same if I were you. Because you already talked to her about it and yet she didn't listen to you. I just don't understand how can she do that? She really doesn't realize it if this guy is a liar? I believe in love, but I don't want this love blinded me. I'm sorry, but I think you're friend is blinded by what she thinks is love. :(

So she talked to the guy's wife? And nothing happened? This is the weirdest situation ever! I read a chic lit book a few months ago where there was a mistress and I was wondering what would I do if one of my friends turned out to be a mistress. I really feel that it's not okay for women to do that! I don't care if you believe you're in love or if he tells you that he's going to leave his wife for you. I just feel that it's wrong, especially when some of the situations involve children. These girls need to think about he consequences and about what the wife might be feeling. If he cheats on his wife with you he will cheat on you with someone else, I feel that this statement is very much true. I don't think you're a bad friend because if that was my friend I would feel weird hearing about her dates and what has been doing on. Have you told her that it bothers you?

Well, that woman should be condemn because beside she knows that guy is married she still want to flirt and connected to that guy... I really hate those woman that is betraying anyone even if those acts is evil...

Oh no. I don't want to say this, but i really don't like mistresses. I don't why would they waste their time and life for someone who is already married. And for that stupid guy too, why does he need to have a relationship with other woman if he does not want to leave his wife. Oh man, that's just wrong. I feel sorry for his wife. And i think that your friend is desperate or something. Don't get me wrong. Well, i think you not a bad friend. If you think you've done enough for her then that's ok. If she really really don't listen to you, then let her go. She make her own decisions. This is her choice. This is her life. Then let it be. But if she comes crying to you, just be with her.

Hi there! I don't think you are a bad friend, definitely not because of your friend's foolishness, sorry to say that. But I personally hate mistresses or third parties, i cannot figure how they manage to enter into a relationship with someone who is already married, and worse, with a "family". They're just ruining and destroying a family, you know, a "FAMILY" not just a relationship. well, i guess your friend is stubborn enough to stick with that married guy, so just let her do her stuff and let her learn from her own if she doesn't listen. And if she falls from that relationship, teach her a lesson, let her stand on her own so she'll learn. its not being a bad friend. you might just want her to learn from he stupid selfish mistakes.

Don't see yourself as the bad person her. Her actions are her own you cannot control what she does. But when things come crashing if the crash she may need you to lean on. You can tell her you are uncomfortable about her being a mistress, but you are there for her.

wow!!

I know you want to be her friend, and that you don't want her love affair to create a gap in your friendship but then, because you two cannot walk down that path together, eventually it's still going to be that way. When things come to worst and she comes to her senses, hopefully, as a friend, you should be there to accept her back. It will not be easy for her though. Pride and everything, but you must try to be there for her. You have done your part in talking her out of it. Then let nature take its own course. Relationships like that are bound to fail.

I think you would be more of a 'bad friend' if you would be remiss about this. Yes, it is still her life, and it is still her decision to continue with her relationship, but just make sure that you don't fall short on advising, and suggesting that she leaves this relationship. And of course, that you be there when it all breaks apart.

You encouraging the topic away labels you enough to be a good friend. At times like this, we do have to make decisions. It is up to you if you do not want to be associated with her. I am assuming that you do not want her bad image to stain yours and that is understandable. Even I would want to stay away unless she is a close friend of mine. Since you and her friends can do nothing to help her as she wants to do things her way then let her fall with her decision and make her suffer the consequences and realize her mistake. Afterall, we, most of the time, learn from our mistakes.

Hello leighz, Being a friend your concern is alright but you can't do anything when she is not listening to you.Hope she understands it with the time and will then remember your advice. Sometimes people do not understand what they do and repent afterwards when they realize it what they did.

No your not bad. You just reach to the point you don't know how to change her mind and heart. Just include her in your prayer and hope she will wake up someday for the truth and for her good.

its hard to say, love can take many forms. just because you dont agree with it doesnt mean you should abandon her just tell her you dont wanna talk about that stuff.

Hi Leighz, Well, if you don't think you want to be associated with her and you don't approve of her lifestyle then I wouldn't necessarily call you a bad friend but I'd just question if you are her friend at all. In saying that, I'm in no way putting you down. Not at all. You are entitled to feel as you do. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in order for me to feel like a real friend to someone, they have to have more qualities that endear me to them than not. I have quite a diverse range of friends and I can overlook a lot of things and still remain friends with the person. I probably would not end a friendship over something like this even though I might not feel it is right. For one thing, it is really has nothing to do with me. I might tell her that I don't agree with it and that I don't want to hear about it if that was how I felt. I have a friend that slept around while she was married. She's divorced now and she sleeps around with so many guys...it's crazy and yes...married men too. I don't agree with it at all and yet she is a great friend. Even her ex husband has said, "you can't help but love her. She has never lied about who or what she is." Might not like it but she is honest and doesn't pretend to be anyone other than who she is.

No, you are not. You have your very own reason to be mad at her since that her choice. But from a third person perspective, she was blinded by love, and eventually you might be a victim herself too. She is foolishly in love with a married man, who you just described to be manipulative and a liar. I won't recommend that you should be compassionate with her situation, but that is her choice. She just didn't see it coming yet.

Hi Leighz I have one to, and believe me i know what you feel cause I've been giving advices to my friend . She just tell me that she cannot go out of that relationship cause she just really love the guy and don't wan't to loose him. Well anyway we are only here for the advice, and care but the rest of the decision goes with our friends who are in that situation so don't feel bad.

Hi there leighz, I think you are not a bad person or a bad friend it's just that you would like not to be associated with her since she is not doing the right thing which is logical of you to decide, but my suggestion is stay with her for a little bit longer and still try to change her mind then if she doesnt then you can leave her side.

As her friend, I think you would have to accept that your friend is doing the wrong thing, but you shouldn't abandon her either. You need to guide her, because in the end, she will not only hurt herself but also her lover and the wife. She might have felt that it was right because she has strong feelings for the guy. She needs to know that if that guy could cheat on his wife, then he could cheat on her too.

No you are not a bad friend. If she is dragging you down with whats going on with her and the man and you cant deal with it or dont want to then remove yourself from her life. If she doesnt discuss this with you or doesnt constantly complain etc about the relationship then keep the relationship if she is a good friend to you. Her life in that aspect doesnt need your approval you just need to be a good friend to her if she is to you. If she gets hurt help her thru it. Give your advice and then just be a friend. What he does to her lying etc has nothing to do with you and as I said if she is good friend to you dont end it cause of who she is dating.. That is unless all she does is whine about him and isnt concerned with you at all then dump her and go on.. cause she isnt your friend you are her dumping board..Good Luck either way. Its your life do what is best for you.