Love, Respect, Trust
By Nightshade13
@Nightshade13 (74)
Philippines
January 30, 2012 9:03am CST
Hi Mylotters,
What do you think is the most important in a relationships? Is it "Love", is it "Respect" or is it "Trust"? For me, you need all of those three to keep your relationship healthy. Love alone doesn't guarantee a long term relationships, you still need the other two to keep your relationship with your partner going.
It is really hard to be in a relationship where the only reason why you are together is bacause you love the person, but you are having doubts about his/her loyalty to you, hence, the trust will be questionable and respect will slowly vanish before you know it. So, for me, all of the three elements are important in order for you to have a good relationships with your partner.
How about you? Do you agree that these three are the key to a successful relationship with your partner? Have you had an experience that the only reason you are staying in the relationship is because you love the person and that you only tressure your past (happy experiences with him/her), but the loyalty is now in question because of, let's just say, cheating?
22 responses
@sdmoonchild (731)
• United States
2 Feb 12
Being the experience that I had written about here, with my ex husband, I can not agree with your keys to a successful relationship-my idea of a successful relationship is honesty, love, and respect. I don't trust anyone any more, now I feel trust has to be proven and earned.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hello there sdmoonchild!
i respect your idea of replacing the "Trust" with "Honesty" and you have a point that this one is also needed for you and your partner to have a healthy relationship.
but i don't think that you should removed the trust element because even if your partner is being Honest with you if you no longer Trust him/her then there is no point that your relationship should still continue. Trust also helps for both of you to have a second chance, but like i've said there is always a limit for everything. If he/she is breaking one of those three (Trust, Love and Respect) then for me you no longer have a reason to continue the relationships.
i don't mean to be rude to you but i think that you are now afraid of trusting people maybe bacause of your past experiences, however, it will only ruin your relationship with other people whom deserves that trust. its not wrong to be prudent or doubting a person but if your going to do it in your everyday life then i guess it will not be an easy life.
let me know your thoughts,
@sdmoonchild (731)
• United States
3 Feb 12
I see what you are saying- and yes I am in a relationship right now, he is very understanding ofhow I feel. I do trust him , but I have known him for years. I guess it would be clarifying that I don't trust people that I have not known for a long time or have not proven that they are trustworthy. And also part of this comes from my past experiences and it is just so hard to get over the hurt. (hopefully this makes sense)
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
3 Feb 12
i see, i understand, well i hope your current realationship will be successful and have a happy ending. :)
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
This kind of question reminds me of the Korean Drama that I had watched. When One of the Character asked the Guy what would he prefer the choices are " Love, Loyalty,Respect" The guy chose "Respect" but then the girl prefer "Loyalty". Its because sometimes Love and Respect can be lessened but loyalty won't.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
hmmm... i'd like to know the title of that Drama/Series, maybe i could watch it myself, let me know will you?
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
hmmm... i'd like to know the title of that Drama/Series, maybe i could watch it myself, let me know will you?
@eunife (165)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
i'd say "acceptance". if you accept all his flaws, you accept that you have to share him with someone else, you accept that you are not on top of his priority list, you accept that ... etc. in short, you are the most martyr of all the martyrs of love. in spite of every unacceptable things he does, you still stand beside him as long as he is not leaving you and he still say that he loves you, then your relationship goes on. the unimaginable, unconditional, incomprehensible relationship could be healthy to both of you even if people around you says it is not.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
Hi eunife, LOL! yes maybe i was a martyr. I fought for our relationships eventhough i learned that that person cheated on me and lied to me not just once, and no not twice but countless times. but i've learned my lesson so i ended the relationship after giving a lot of chances and being worn out after.
@eunife (165)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
good for you, Nightshade. cheating is bad and unforgivable to some. but maybe if the man says "hey, i want another woman but we don't need to split up", i think some cultures accept that but definitely not mine. if i hear that from my partner, probably i'd say "hey, i need another man too but we don't need to split up". imagine that.
@wysecom (346)
• South Africa
31 Jan 12
Most people are so myopic to a point the adage 'love is blind' is fulfilled in them.
What love are you referring to in a relationship? There is nothing like love but what you can gain from the temporary relationship while still alive.
Trust? Do you trust a human being? I can only trust God fully. For humans, I trust your yesterday but I know that between yesterday and now, you may have changed.
Why should I respect you? Is it really respect or fear?
The only thing that makes all these relationships to last is the value of what you drill out of it otherwise, it goes sour at a twinkle.
To me, none of these three works except when God is involved.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hello wysecom,
if you believed in love of God then you have to believed in love of human being as well, i did. because God itself love us so i don't think that makes a human 'myopic'.
Trust? yes, unfortunately i easily trust a person, regardless of who he/she is. Yes, people change, but the point is we should know/learn how to compromise in everyone's mistake but then again there's always a limit for everything.
respect based on fear is rediculous and pathetic to me, for me you dont respect a person because you fear him/her. You respect the person because he/she has something (characteristic wise) that you admire.
Lastly, you have a point that those three that i mentioned will not work or both of you will have a hard time with your relationship if God is not involved. because its also teach us the word "Faith", etc.
@eljayo (1105)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
Hi! I think there should be balance between the three. If one is lacking, the essence is also gone. You cannot love and not trust at the same time.If you or your partner cheats then, something is wrong and both of you have to make a decision or else more trouble will happen. Cherished memories will be replaced with bitterness, love with hatred and pain deep inside. Love is something that is beautiful and not destructive.:)
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hi eljayo,
i guess your right, there is something wrong with our relationship and those reasons destroys it. we already had a decision, we broke up but not ending our friendship (at least, this is one good thing that happen to us after those experience, i guess).
@zaahro (748)
• Indonesia
31 Jan 12
hello nightsahde...
Well everyone knows we need to combine the three of them. But it is the hardest thing to do, we have jealousy, doubtness, ego, etc that make the situation sometime get bored and worse. But if the couple keep faith, there is always a chance to be together forever. Talking about love, during all our life is not enough.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hi zaahro,
well, in each relationship will come a time that both of you will get bored and jealousy is a normal thing to happen to both of you, but the important thing is that we should know or each of the parties should know how to compromise and this element is also needed in a relationship. However, if the issue is cheating, for me it is one of the worst thing to do especially if he/she is doing it repeatedly.
@kedves (728)
•
30 Jan 12
Well all three are good to have, but the thing is too many times we spend trying to find the correct "formula" for a partner..
love, respect, trust, honesty, kindness, sincerity, loyalty, appreciation etc etc etc
the list can go on and on ...
maybe if we spend more time listening to out partner and sharing each others lives we will not need the list of formula to make a good relationship :)
stop reading what makes a good partner, stop searching for reasons why he/she is NOT a good parter, stop comparing your relationship to the person next to you .. stop searching and just enjoy it ... after all love is meant to be enjoyable no?
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
you are right Kedves, however, i have been a listener for too long. maybe i was being perfectionist. trying to be perfect in this relationships, however, i don't think having a third party while you are in the relationhip is somehow justifiable, maybe in some religion but i don't believed in that.
you said that love is meant to be enjoyable, yes, i agree with that and i can say that i no longer enjoy with that person no more, that's why i decided to end it (for so many reason), off course i weigh things down first before coming up with that decision.
Happy Mylotting
@rberon1985 (5359)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
Hi Nightshade13
those things that you've mentioned are very important ingredients for you to have a successful relationship. maybe what you've lost is communication. you both stop trying to reach its others opinion and did not listen to everyone's point of view. in what way that person cheated on you? did that person involved himself/ herself in another party? i don't think so. if that happened, did you approached that person or did you ever talk to that person why did he/ she did it?
i believe that he did not involve himself/ herself to anyone else. maybe what's wrong with that person is he/ she becomes to possessive and paranoid on what is happening and i can feel that he / she is really suffering from all those faults that person has done to you. but one thing is for sure, he/she never involved himself/ herself to another person. if you only know that person love you so much up until this moment and still waiting that everything will be fix and will be alright..
@cassije74 (247)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
Hi nightshade!!! Yah, i agree with you those three is very important to keep the relationship last longer. And i would like to add another key factor in holding the relationship to stick together is to be a " God-centeredness" relationship.
Putting God as the center of every relationship keeps it going and going not even a single day will delay. Everything works for His glory and being God the priority for each everyone, everything will be successful. Nobody can boast and will never be because no one is capable of doing it by our own but to the one and only Source of All. Our willingness to fear God plays major important so that all of the said elements above will just follow.
Happy Loving and Keep Relationships Going !!!
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hello Cassije74,
indeed, adding God and faith in the relationship will make it even stronger, so i agree with your thoughts.
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
19 Mar 12
Those three are very important in a relationship and i agree that those three can make a healthy relationship. No one can live long when there is no love so every body need love and if we love someone we will show respect for him/her. Every body should be respected and trust, i think trust is second to the most important in three for a relationship because trust can make a relationship stable.
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
Yes indeed, I think that those 3 are very important in every relationship. I cannot love if i don't trust or respect the person. And also accept the person for who he is. Well, about cheating, I don't know why some people still cheats with their love ones. If they don't love the person anymore, then just say it. Don't hurt the person by cheating with him. About treasuring the past, yes, for some people, they still tend to continue the relationship because of what they had in the past. I know some people who had a long term relationship and yet got broke up. 
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hello there tatzkie23,
i guess "time" is not a guarantee that your relationship will become successful. you are right, even some people who had a long term relationships would still ended with "breaking-up". so i guess there's a lot of things to consider for your relationship to become successful.
@marieandtim (99)
• United States
31 Jan 12
i so agree to this im going thou something like that now i love the guy im with but some of the things he says and how he acts is making me wonder.he says things he knows will hurt me. but i am the type that gives my all and will in till he leaves i know that is dumb self destructive.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
2 Feb 12
Hi marieandtim, i've been there in that situation, but one thing i learned is to proiritize myself first before anyone else, i mean you should love yourself first and if you will love someone try to leave some for yourself so in case that that relationship will not work at least you still have something for yourself, if you know what i mean... :)
@dongjr (80)
•
30 Jan 12
hi there!
I agree to you DS(discussion starter). We need those three to make every relationship working and healthy. Respect is a start. If you respect one another and there is love. And if you love someone you learn to trust that someone.
But also we need this thing, "communication" for it is hard when you lack that.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
Hello Dongjr,
i've tried to have a conversation with that person, however, we usually ended up on a negative way, i mean we ended up arguing on things especially on the subject 'past'. but i agree with you that communication is a major part on a relationship.
@rubbershot (173)
• Kenya
30 Jan 12
Love, trust and respect have different meanings but they go hand in hand for a successful relationship.
@Nightshade13 (74)
• Philippines
30 Jan 12
Hi Rubbershot, yes, i aggree. you need all of them for you to have a good realationship regardless if it's your partner or just a friend.
@taheraa (1545)
• Giza, Egypt
31 Jan 12
I am agree completely with you, any Successful relationships should be built on Love, Respect, Trust, Honesty, Determination and Commitment to others.
@angelako (280)
• Italy
31 Jan 12
I think 3 of them is really needed in a relationship,if one is missing the relationship well fall apart.If only love without respect and trust,how could it be,so you will always jealous and luck of trust?and you will not respect your partner?So 3 of them must be there to long lasting relationship.
@marieandtim (99)
• United States
3 Feb 12
i am with someone who over the last 2 months has become hateful. i love him so im hoping it changes. the main problem is he lets other people influence things and he likes to insult people at least me so it is getting painful. all of this of corse causes trust issues to.
@aizabasiga (63)
• Hungary
31 Jan 12
I need LOVE,RESPECT,AND TRUST the three are really important when it comes relationship.
@julhas555 (48)
•
31 Jan 12
Love/Respect/Trust this three need make a real life and real man.I feel trust about this three.
