the list!

You are very good to your son. I realise my passing will be a headache for my executor but that's life, I guess. Are you saying the Doc was correct? That's a blow. When did you lose your Dad?...my condolences dear Pergy. Our summer has been the mildest for a while with lots of rain so the mozzies are bad. I often try to imagine you living on your island...I would love that. Do you have a fireplace or some other way of keeping warm other than lots of warm clothing? It will soon be Spring for you as we go into Autumn...blessings to you.

Hey, my girl...always looking for that BIG pink grin..on the screen! Losing my Father, unexpectedly, I do know the ramifications of loose-ends, and the challenge of getting through that time! I was pulled up short, earlier this year, when the Doc said; be prepared for Cancer! Iknew that my house was "NOT in order,"...and the extra grief it would weigh on my son...it just meant facing one's finality and crossing the "t"'s and dotting the "i"'s! And then I thought of all my wonderful cyber friends, and that they should know, too..the reason for my silence! How's your summer, MsT, as we are shivering, still, in the grips of 'Ol Man Winter!

My Lord....I hate that we are now NOT getting notifications...and for which I truly apologize for the long, long wait for response! I am being tested every 3 months...active cells, which have been in-active lately, and just TWO more, one in March..and one in late June, and if still in-active...then annually! The tests consist of bone, bone marrow, tissue, CT scans and bloodwork! BUT, dear one, it is so much easier to go for these tests..now! In the beginning, it was 4 trips OFF the Island (lotsa money)...now I can go to the Cancer Clinic, and have them all done in one fell swoop! And that's a good thing! AHA...I have a wonderful stone fireplace, that goes floor to ceiling (Island rock)and a "insert!" After the stove gets going good...the rocks all heat up, and eminate such a wonderful heat! There is something VERY comforting about dry, wood heat. Course, living on an Island, it is a damp cold...and on windy days, you can actually taste the salt on your lips! You can see the rock that I live on, by just Googling; Galiano Island, B.C.! Right now...all the daffodils, crocuses...and hyacinths are teasing us..their heads have peeked out of their cold winter beds! Love Spring!! Luv ya, too!

THERE HE IS!!! You, dear friend, were on my list for today, to PM...(partly because I am nosey...mixed with worry) and also, just plain MISSING your banter..ALOT!! OF COURSE, you would be totally missed (see above)...and the fact that you had a motorcycle accident, proves my point...disappearance from here can be from mishaps ...as well as health! I don't think I am elite here...each (most) times...I make a friend, there is a part of me, given! I do not take this lightly, and am devastated when I don't see them around, myLot! Now, on to you...my goodness, a broken collarbone does NOT mix well, with gardening and "homesteading" in a new home! I can see where, this type of injury could make one feel defeated! Such a process to heal, too...as there is nothing realistically that can be done...other than a sling! OWCH! Is that princess daughter of your's still exploring..on her own? And how has the transition to your new home been? Please take care...YOU REALLY ARE MISSED!

thank you...RawBill for the up-date on that special little Princess of your's...and the great insight she has for one so young(must come by it naturally--wonderful parents!) She seems such a wise "little owl!", and you, as parents---have given her wings, and a soft place to land!

Thanks so much for your kind words. They really do mean a lot to me. I did not come here in November due to accepted a Lens making challenge over at Squidoo. See here: http://www.squidoo.com/30-pages I briefly checked in again in December, but then Christmas was upon us and we went away and then you know what happened in January. Yes, my daughter is still adventuring. She took off down south to stay with the family again this Christmas for 3 weeks! She left December 26th and did not return until January 17th. It was too long for her this time. We knew it beforehand and told her so, but she wanted to go for that long and organised and paid for the whole trip herself. We helped her book the flights, but that was all. She did the rest. I think it was tough on her being away from home when my accident happened as she was quite concerned. She agreed upon return that it was too long away from home. Lesson learned. :-) I think I will post tomorrow about my last few months. I have been meaning too for a few weeks now. :-) It has been 5 months since my last discussion!

Such a lovely response, dearheart! Made my eyes misty, it did! Of course, knowing you little, but liking you lots...and you are on my "friends list" you would receive notification in the form of a discussion...as I feel you have all contributed to a rich life, here on myLot! It is the threat of "mucousal cancer" (still pending) that prompted me to post the discussion, along with the fact, many near and dear here, have left NO trace of their disappearance...and left me missing them! Closure would help! Also, accidents do happen! There seem to be some "goblins" at work, here at myLot, lately, and so many days I cannot respond..and some not log-in, which leaves me frustrated, as I can't follow my friends, nor speak to them! I hope whatever glitches are creating these stumbling blocks..DO clear up soon! Truly, thank you for the lovely post!

You are precious.

I just know, dearheart..in the short time that I have known you, here on "the Lot"...you have wiggled you way, deep into my heart! I would stress unbelievably if you didn't start a discussion, bounce into one of mine..or respond to my PM's...and each passing day, the stress mounding. Knowing if/what would give me closure. I think your idea of "envelopes of love" is a wonderful idea, and am wondering, can I steal a page from your book..that is such a tender, unselfish idea!! When my brother-in-law, received a terminal diagnosis, unbeknownst to my sister, he spent time in his final (when still ambulatory) hiding little "slippetes" of love notes, in all the strangest places in their home...she found them for years after, and she would just glow, each time she found a new one! I don't do much FB, and neither do a lot of my friends here, but the only way of reaching "friends on my list"...is to post a discussion under my name, then my friends would receive notification...NOT one they would want to see, but it would allow them to grieve..and have closure! p.s. Now, I know why I love ya, so much..I am a lover of NUTZ...and CA is the world's leader in producing pecanNUTZ! Gotta love that CA, and it's nutz!

I shall make an envelope, addressed to you . . . I shall include PECANS! Oh wow - I was almost in tears over what your brother-in-law did for your sister . . . wow. What forethought . . . I love that idea!! This is sort of different, but when my hubby was still at his parents house long ago, I gave him a card in which I told him to open quickly . . . and he never trusted me with cards from then on because a zillion micro heart shaped confetti popped out of that card - ha ha. He had a heck of a time cleaning them up . . . and months later he'd still be finding them! When we got an apartment together, we'd somehow find them here and there during the 2 years we were there . . . and even at the next apartment we moved to! Somehow these hearts keep following us! Closure yes . . . it's nice you are thinking of your myLot friends! I can imagine your "discussion" - in that lively pergammano style - it would be the top of the top discussions for sure! And I, for sure, would leave a big comment because I KNOW you will be reading it! And I will still throw the rays of sunshine and now perhaps pecans your way!!!

Love your little heart story, and it really confirms..simple, little gestures can have HUGE impacts! THank you, for the lovely complement, accepted and appreciated with great aplomb! DANG...I am so frustrated (you too?) about NOT receiving notifications of responses...I didn't know this was going on, til I read it here, last nite..it was absolute torture trying to remember discussions I should re-visit and show the courtesy of a response! I know I have to visit your profile, now..as I have a response..about LUCK! Yesterday...I thought of you, as I was basking in sunshine (the basking part is a lie) BUT...we had SUN...beautiful sun!!!! Warm, gentle sun...of course, I conjure up thots of spring (premature)as I know "Ol Man Winter" ain't finished yet! Speaking of LUCK...and NUTZ, I do know if I won the Lottery..I would fill my world with Macadamia...Cashew..and Pecans...and BANISH all the Human nutz! AND, I am even more thrilled...I am the Garlic grower of the family, and 'til yesterday, I was very, very depressed! I plant my Garlic in November, this year only 600 units, and usually I follow my own instincts, and my crop is up late December, early Jan., NOTHING til yesterday...and they are peeking thru the soil...LOVING IT! I had listened to environment CANADA, and their prediction of a El Nina winter, colder than usual..so planted my Garlic way deeper, so with so much rain, I thot they had rotted! Are you/your family...at all Garlic eaters (know the benefits?)...I have a absolutely wonderful recipe for Garlic Chocolate Chip cookies, and that's how I started my son on Garlic! Sure go off on tangents...don't I?

Dearest "thesids"....this gives me comfort, great comfort! Partly what precipated this move, on my part...not just the illness, but the absolute disappearance of our mutual friend "fjaril!" whom touched both our hearts....and there is still a big hole there! I do understand your wish, of a combination walk across the rainbow bridge..but, my concern about just having my friends list..is THAT if I am NOT on the friends list whom makes the call...I will be forever lost in the abyssum of not knowing! Am I making sense...I may NOT be on their friendslist here at myLot! I am being selfish, I want to know...and I want to grieve. Sorry about this heavy discussion...it's our missing friend that sparked this!

I wonder what happened! The didnt show up anywhere above Am I grown too Old already to miss that one out Hi pergammano

You are right dear. Actually, we humans have a tendency not to think and be prepared for such things, though we all know that this can happen anytime. When we are gone, the ones who are closer and in contact, have a chance to get to know this and can stay free from worries but the ones who are distant, online and more so, not in regular direct communication with us (or only are aware of us and not our families and other friends) stay thinking that someday.... we will return. The wait is torturous for many but still we do wait... dont we. The profile status of our dear friend states that he did log in 5 months back. As he doesnt seem to respond, the only solace to me is his profile. Once the login dates change, I thank Lord, Pray that he is safe and doing good. And Wait for the next time it gets updated.

@Orson_Kart...sorry, but I don't concur with you! I do know that I have extremely special friends...and family here at myLot, that I would cause pain to, if I should "vanish!" Due to other issues...computer..weather, etc., I have been absent, only to find a plethora of e-mails of worry! This is NOT an ego issue..this is reality, the bonds are special and my cyber family is special! @Marti...more than likely you will not receive notification of this response, so I will PM you, this morning, dearheart!

Pergy, I didn't get any PM. Maybe they're not working, either. I HOPE these problems are caused by a soon-to-be-absolutely-magnificent upgrade at myLot! Well, one can dream, right? Actually, this was the first time I've even been online since I responded. I've been frantically searching for my car title because it seems to want to die soon and I need the title to get a new car. So, every spare moment has been searching through file cabinets and boxes and mountains of papers. Ugh! (Most of these are files from my parents that I've been putting off going through simply because there were so many of them and that's such boring work.) Still haven't found the title so I'll most likely end up applying for a duplicate.

If you are who I think you are, I missed you! I'm finding out that no one misses me, though, not that I'm actually testing the theory, I just haven't been around much for awhile now and no one has questioned it. Sigh. Pergy, I don't have a list for anyone but I'll probably make one, at the very least a list of my debit cards and pin numbers for my kids so they can get the pittance I've been able to save. I'd hate for it to go to waste, especially now with my first grandbaby one the way. I may be MIA for awhile soon. I've had less and less to contribute here so I've spent less and less time hanging around. I have some pretty serious issues on my mind right now and don't know exactly when or if I'll have the time I'd like to spend here like I used to. My entire life may be about to change and I won't know how much time I'll have to myself to do things I like doing, not for awhile anyway. If it will be awhile and I'm still on this planet, I'll poke my head in every now and then to say hi and howdy do.

I read so often, of the compromises of some of your health issues, and hoping soon you will have the upperhand in healing! I truly, just like to have "all loose ends" tied up....and I know my mortality is immenent and so, like to leave as many instructions as simple as possible! I do know what grieving for a parent is like...so would like the transition for my son as simple as possible! Take care!

Good morning, dearest Ambie...! Truly am happy that you responded, as you...and RawBill were on my "list" for today...to PM as I had NOT seen either of you around (as I wander this site!)and was getting worried! I am so glad, that PMing is available! I see you say, "if something happens to me, I would ask that she get on myLot and post the news,"...and I don't mean to sound cryptic here, dear Ambie..BUT have you done that, already asked her??? So often, we tend to overlook, "accidents happen!" And dear heart, sometime ago...I received a lovely PM from you, that truly helped me get over some personal hurdles, and your PM ALONE gave me the incentive to come back here! For which, I thank you, truly!

I was watching National Geographic last nite, when I fell asleep...the show was about new discoveries in outer space! I dreamt they discovered a NEW "star cluster" so brightly brilliant, kazillions of many hued colors...and it was called the "myLot" cluster, and I was sooo thrilled (in my dream)..as I went flitting thru this swirling, dancing cluster looking for all "myLot friends"! Go figure!

That is sooo cool!

No, dear celticeagle...it is NOT something pleasant to entertain...our own mortality, but dang ...it's inevitable, and having one's house in order, truly gives you some comfort, knowing your loved ones are not being presented an extra burden! It took the threat of illness, to be my wake-up call...but then, I had another one...illness may not be my demise, any form of serious accident, no warning! So, I prioritized getting my house in order! I have met so many precious friends here, and they too, have the right to know, and grieve, if they so wish! I just found it so painful, when a dear friend here has vanished, and to this day..absolutely NO responses to every form of communication. I will forever wonder..and grieve!

Precious Jen...you are one of the jewels that have so enhanced my life, here....and you are one that would need to know, just to spare you the grieving of my vanishing OR! Jen, my list, for my son..is my e-mail list (which you are on)and I have written a "soliloquoy" (of sorts) for him to just type, and post! I have also written a post, for him to type under my name, here at myLot..and that way my dearly beloved family and friends here will be notified..and have closure...not forever wondering! It will be written in my words! I thought about it long and hard..and it does no-good for T.J. to call Antique Lady..and have her post it, as her friends list..is not my friends, and only friends we have in mutual would know...am I making sense! I really feel, Jen..we have to make this transition as painless as possible for our children...and after that scare last summer, I knew I had to put my house in order....as Lordy, lordy...Lightening, a falling tree..even a ladder whilst picking grapes..the results are the same..! When my father passed many years ago..his house was not in order, (it was unexpected)..and for many, many hours I grieved and penned letters to his clients! Thank goodness for the cyber world..one painful post from my son, and all is informed! I know it is not a topic we like to discuss, but it's reality! Love you lots, my rainbow princess!

Nice to hear from you, MaryLynn and for the banter we have shared! Yes, mortality is imminent...I have reached out and made precious, precious cyber friends here, and I feel that as part of friendship, this too, needs to be shared, so they can grieve, if they wish/or not...and have closure! I have an idea of how you feel..having some-one vanish from the internet! An early friend here, has vanished..NO response to any form of communication...and I find myself grieving the loss on an on-going basis! I must admit, it was a struggle putting my house in order...but I kept reminding myself...either I DID IT, or I left the burden to my son! That is not what I want for him, he will have his own challenges at that time! So to minimize his grief...I wrote an e-mail to cover all those on my list..and a post (final post) here for myLot! No-one like's "obits", but at least they know! You, too, dear one...have a special weekend!

Have missed you, dear one...but do stumble across your postings, which is reassuring! As I repeat myself..it is so very true, the people that I know in the myLot world are very special to me...and if they are silent, I do stress! So thinking about all of the over "legal" issues I have put in place, made me realize, I owe to my friends, too...to keep them informed! There is some-one missing, here from myLot, for almost a year and there is absolutely no response to e-mails...PM's and there is just that huge emptiness! I am truly, so happy to hear from you!

hi dearest pergammano I am soooo glad you are still part of mylot.......

Good morning, girl_thinking! I think we ALL...like to avoid the topic of our mortality....so we avoid what we don't care to face, but, dear we forget that an accident could be the cause, too! I thought about some of my friends here on myLot...and having my son call them, BUT, their friends on myLot, are NOT always my friends! So, their post would only go out to their friends (the notifications, that is)...and my friends would still be left in limbo. I understand what you are saying about your cousin..but unless you have EXACTLY the same friends list, it won't work! I hope you have a spectacular day!

Oh yeah, I haven' exactly thought about friends list. We have our own set of friends here in mylot and I just think how small mylot is because I see the same people everyday.. Two hundred thousand plus people is a lot to see everyday..

I hear you, GG...it leaves you feeling so helpless because these people are in your heart..and there is no way you can contact them! Hopefully, having this process in place..upon my demise, health or accident..my friends will know, so they can have closure...and I'll be waiting for them across that rainbow bridge!

I know MsHatley...one doesn't want to face one's own mortality..but last summer when the Dr. said, very unceremoniously; "be prepared for Cancer"...I got a wake-up call! I speedily did all the legal things, to have all "my ducks in a row," so to speak...and then it hit me, my cyber world, and the absolutely spectacular friends I have made here...they have the right to know...because the silence, would be so painful! It was not easy to broach the subject with my son (I'm sure like yours)but I re-inforced how much it would mean to me, and them..to be allowed to grieve and move on....rather than wonder where "pergammano" was! I am so glad you are back to your perky self, MsHatley!

And right back at you, my dearest friend! This really came to fruition remembering the pain, I endured when my FAther passed. 1972, so no internet, but he had clients all over the U.S., some with bookings for the Fall Season...and some just friends from over the years..and I had to pen that letter with heavy heart..each one adding more pain! So much easier on him...and there's people here that deserve to know! BIG,BIG hUGZ..LuV YA!

Thank you, for you lovely post, Dominique! Yes...I greet each morning with great aplomb...and grasp at and gleen every precious moment, I can out of every precious day, and it really has helped by putting ALL of my house in order..knowing that I have lessened the load, somewhat for my son..and my precious friends..and myLot family/friends will be informed..and celebrate in there chosen manner! You, too..have a special day!

Dearest enelym...I really KNOW, in my heart..(and it has happened here) when some-one has so specially touched your heart...no longer to be heard of....what a big, empty hole it leaves! Yes, many more years..my friend, but I am NOT just thinking of illness...an accident! I know the topic sounds gruesome, but it is a reality! My dearest Father..did NOT have house in order and it was a challenge...as those day's it was all handwriting...and the grief was overwhelming, so my thoughts were to simplify things for my son...one simple post here, under my name, and he could deal with it once! I guess I am being selfish for him...as to me, there is nothing so un-nerving as the disappearance of some-one that has touched my life!

Delight to hear from you, little trinkabelle and you so, better related my feelings regarding this, than I did. I thought about the fact, that my son would have the challenge of the real world...and possibly forget..ny friends in "cyber world" are just as special and meaningful. Thank you for sharing your thoughtfulness!