I have to make some major financial decisions soon and need advice

this kind of makes me worry abot you since i did that with my kids and i have a really good income compared to most. i get my 500 retirement plus hubbys retirement which adds up to what im told id more then most get for their retirement pay. yet i barely make it from month to month. the kids kind of zap me dry every month so far. things are a lot more expensive here also.since you are coming my way, i thought id let you know that.so just saying. why dont you visit first and see how that goes. i really regret selling my house. you buying another? they are very expensive here.

It's better to be debt-free because starting out anew with a clean plate would be best. You are only 57 years old and you still have many years ahead of you. You can start a new modest business using your skills and expertise.

Lret me start by saying ...better you than me!!! I'd be petrified to use all my savings!!! What if you have a medical emergency just after spending all your savings??? How long will it take you to build your savings back up to a comfortable cushion??? Since you're doing your child a HUGE favor, I think they should pay you what daycare would have cost them as they will be getting MUCH BETTER QUALITY of care for their child!!! Is this child & spouse going to appreciate what you're giving up for them??? Will they be able to help you financially if you have a financial problem during all this??? I know you took GREAT care of your boys with very little when they were growing up; but will this child return the favor when the proverbial chit hits the fan??? I know I'm not really answering your question; but, in my eyes, these are important parts of the equation!!! PLUS, I know you've already made up your mind & my opinion is only for backup thoughts as you're somewhat concerned about all this yourself!!! It would be wonderful if your children would be willing to give to you as willingly when you need in your latter years it as you gave to them when they were younger & needed it. Sadly, it seldom works that way!!! Are you ready to face the reality that your child might well leave you destitute when you need him most???

I would not want to have debts if I don´t have an income to pay for it. I read some of the answers to your post and I think that if you are going to go to take care of your grandchild, the parents of the child should help you out as much as they can. You say that your son does not have a job. While he doesn´t have one, he can take care of the baby while you make up your mind the best way. If he gets a job, then they can pay you whatever they would spend on the daycare center, with the extra bonus that they will know that the baby will be in the best hands.

Congratulate you on your soon being a grandmother!I admire you for your paying so much attention to your grandchild's growing up ,even want to sell your house and move across the country to get there.To be honest,I am not good at managing money matters,but if I were you,I would rather be debt free with little retirement savings.This way I can feel relax.

Here is a thought! It might not be a good idea to sell and move. It might be better to keep the house and rent it out. Put your belongings into storage. This way you will pay for storage and the mortgage but get the mortgage payment back in the form of rent. The reason I say this is because you have a wonderful reason or should I say reasons for moving. But, when families live together again after the kids have grown, moved on their own and have children of their own things don't always work out as planned. If you sell your home and pay off your debts and things don't work out where you are planning to move to. What are you going to do? You won't have a place to live and with a modest income finding something affordable may not be in the cards or available. Just food for thought...your future is just as important as your grandchild's too. At least you will have something to back you up if things don't work the way you are expecting them to. It also may work out great, but in the interim you still have a home you can sell later on when the economy is better and actually make a profit. The mortgage will be paid because you are getting rent and you have a place to return if that is necessary because all you need is to provide 30 days notice for renters to move. You will probably provide 60 - 90 days notice so they too can find another residence to reside in. But you have taken care of all angles for yourself as well as your grandchild! Good luck with whatever you decide!

will be working when you move? will you be living with the family? in my hubby and my case, we are both 50, he works full time and i work part time and we have some extra gigs on the side. we do have debt but we are hoping to have it paid off within the next few years (our house as well), however, we have two teens to send to collage (our 18 year old is planning to go to college in Sept and is currently looking for grants, bursaries, etc) and we have a 14 year old. we do have a bit of savings plus we have an amount coming off our paychecques for retirement. i think it is better to have no debt with a little than to have debt. as the years go by, it will be harder to pay off the debt if you go the other way.

When I was 58 I had a heart attack and wasn't very fit afterwards and it made it very difficult to work. I decided that the best thing to do was to get all my debts paid and it did leave me with little or no savings. I then had a choice, I could use the extra money to live or continue to make sacrfices and instead of paying my previous payments, I could put them in a savings account - and that is what I did (as you are contemplating doing) and I am still doing some 6 years later. I think I have learned to live more frugally and able to save. I live with the philosophy that we are not given anything in life that we cannot handle, even is it does feel that way at low periods. I hope sharing my experience will help you to come to a decision that best suits you. _Derek

Hi Dragon, I'm 56. Unlike you...I don't have a house I could sell. If I did, I would sell it and pay off all my debts. I'm still in good health so I would work and live within my means debt free. You mentioned the possibility of substance abuse. Because of that, I would NOT live with them. I would live very near to them. I'm sure that because of your age that you could get an apartment that the rent would be based on 33% of your income. Even if you don't qualify...get your own place, however small,near to your grandchild. From what I'm reading here is that your priority should be to do whatever is needed to make sure that your grandchild is safe and has a safe place to be in the event that his home is not that place?? Get debt free and move so you can be there. All the rest will fall into place,I'm sure. Your are smart...you will figure this out...go with your heart. By the way, Congrats on the new grandbaby!!

Everything that I have ever read about debt/savings says that it is better to have no debt and no savings than lots of debt and lots of savings. On that basis pay off your debt first. Also, current interest rates are so low that you don't gain very much by having a bank full of savings. I see that some have suggested that you rent your house. At least that way you maintain the capital. I don't understand thre US housing market very well and unlike here, it is easy to lose money on a house sale. If you intend spending the rest of your days in Az then sell and find a new house to buy there. Try not to lose your most valuable asset if you possibly can retain it. I admire your cause but please don't neglect yourself. If you do you will be of no use to anybody - chiefly YOU!

If it were me, I would stay put. Grandparents do not have the right to insert themselves into how their grandchildren are being raised, except in a true case of abuse or neglect. It really isn't your choice as to whether your grandchild is in daycare. I plan to home school; my future MIL doesn't like homeschooling. Guess what? When we have kids, I will home school. My mother is of a different religion than I am. She doesn't understand why I'm converting. Guess what? I'm converting and raising our children in my faith. They don't get a vote on how we raise our children. You think there "may" be issues of substance abuse. Even if there are issues of substance abuse, what are you going to do about it? And if there isn't such an issue, what do you think the reaction to your allegations is going to be? Stay put. Focus on taking care of yourself. If the need for an alternative home for the child arises in the future, be in a position to care for him or her. However, in the meantime, don't alienate the parent(s) by inserting yourself into how the child is raised. Unless the child is clearly being abused or neglected, it really isn't your concern.

Since you're just asking opinions if I were you in such situation? I would rather want to be debt free. You said that you made wrong decision before, if you are referring for a situation that put you in your situation now, turning between your uncertainties what to do, if you think that selling your house could cover all your debts and keep you at peace being with your grandchild, for me, I would do the same. I don't know how you incurred your debts, but being debt free will give you peace of mind instead of thinking you have a monthly obligations. Being debt free would be a great start to earn again. And you can do it if you have the happiness and contentment thinking that you're with your grandchild and no monthly obligations as well. But as usual, this is just an opinion if I were in your situation. It is still you who knows what best for you. GOod luck and happy mylotting.

Hi dear... I have a bank loan that i am paying the interest monthly and i am not so anxious about it as slowly it will be over. My dad has sold our house totally yesterday and we will shift to our new house in this week. No debt for sure, lol. have a nice time.

I would make a rough estimate of what I would need for my survival which is the most important part of this particular decision making process. My insurance would take care of my health liabilities. Having had a satisfying social life, I would cut down on expenses that socialising eats into. Retirement is more about spending time at home and doing things there that would keep one happily on one's toes. This would mean spending less on energy (petrol). The food bill needs to be reduced and why not. No more fast foods I suppose. A simple home cooked meal will again contribute to savings. I have not quite understood why you would want to move? Would you be planning to live with your son so that the baby is taken care of by you? That would mean that your son would have to foot your food bill. You could increase your repayment instalments and be debt free earlier and then rent out your apartment for additional income.

It depends on whether you are going to move to be near your grandchild or whether it will be where you live now. If it is the latter, stay in the house, take in boarders or renters (they'll need a separate entrance) and use the monies to pay down your debts. I would pay off what you can nevertheless, but that would not lead much left in case something goes wrong. The housing market is not that good for buyers now so you are between a rock and a hard place. You sell, and lose money or you do not sell and also lose money because the renter may also loose his or her job and be unable to pay.

Why don't you file BK and start over. Sometimes things get even the best of us that try really hard to do it all "right". If you earned any kind of interest on savings, I'd say invest it but with 1/4th percent interest...all it does is make enough so you have that to pay the taxes on it at the end of the year. Children are important and I'd file BK if it meant keeping my kids and grandkids safe. I'm near your age...my life is on the down swing, but theirs is just starting. I'd give them my final years if it means they'll have a better life.

hi dragon given what you ha ve told us I think I would do the sanme were I in your shoes as you are just 57 and have time to save up money after getting debt free I know I would rather be debt free and just work a bit more for saving for retirement.

In your case, I''df pay off the debts. My husband and I went through a problem very much like yours. We had a second mortgage on a house we owned when he got overseas orders. The house did not sell until we had already left the area. When it did sell, I was sent a check for what was left after the mortgage was paid off. It seemed like too much money to me. I questioned the agent in whose hands we had left the house. He assured me that everything was paid.A few weeks later, I started getting past due notices. The agent had not paid the loan we had taken out for the new kitchen I had installed. For the next 2 years. I had to make payments for a kitchen attached top a house we no longer owned. Sometimes it was hard to make those payments.

hi dear dragon54u first of all I want to tell you how deeply touched I am by your post. Its awesome here you are nearing 60 and wanting to pitch in and help as you are going to be a grandma. You are even willing to sell the house and move across the country where ever to be there for the little one who will be born quite soon. Thats really awesome as some other mothers same age would have thrown a, see how you cope I had enough work with you, into the face of their kids when it comes to pregnancy. If I were in your shoes I would sure sell the house and be debt free even if my income is only modest and I would maybe then have to make do from day to day or week to week. I would simply prefer being debt free cause then this would be off my shoulders. Signing with admiration Ritter Sport

O.K, for what I see you're in better position that we are right now. We are bankrupt,only two month left of it,me and my husband ( 50 years of age)learned a lot from it and can tell you that I would choose to be debts free.