if we only we can choose our relatives
By mavil85
@mavil85 (348)
Philippines
February 8, 2012 2:25am CST
if only i could choose some of my relatives i would definitely grab the chance.
first, it doesn't matter if they are rich or poor as long as we have fun together during reunions or be even close friends.
I am just so sick and tired of talking to someone who is my relative but always tries to put me down. I can't block her because she is a relative for the sake of being a relative. She belittles me, compares me to (can't tell you she might be reading this) she is the most sarcastic person you will ever meet! and yet though everyone hates her here, we have to talk to her. I don't know how long can I contain this, It's a good thing she's far away so I don't get to see her everyday.
Do you have relatives like her?
tell me about it.
3 people like this
12 responses
@kedves (728)
•
8 Feb 12
The thing about being related is that the bond can not be broken easily or that is the premise. So remember it works BOTH ways. If you have to listen to her because she is a relative then SHE has to listen to you for same reason.
So next time it happens just tell her yor view on her comments and tell her respectfully to get off your aback.
this is YOUR life and not even a relation has the right to belittle your or undermine you so take a deep breath stand up tall and tell her go to hell :)
1 person likes this
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
yes, you get it right, no matter what you do we are related by dna. well, i hope she respects me, for this person is so sarcastic and mean. she doesn't really care who gets hurt by her comments. she's older than me so.. i wish i could tell her to go away but in our culture that would be a crime. No matter what the mistakes the elders do, we must never never stand up to them, I an't argue about culture yet i know that somewhat it is lame.
thank you so much
@kedves (728)
•
8 Feb 12
well my culture also you respect your elders however it does not make them right and you have a right to stand up and defend yourself. I think it shows great courage and i am sure many people will respect you. But as you sad she is older so when you do it then make sure you dont shout or scream and you speak soft and clearly as you do not want to be seen as disrespectful.
good luck i have faith you will be fine :)
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
8 Feb 12
I don't know if I would pick out other relatives or already did. Fact is bloodbond means nothing to me. I deleted a big part of familiy/relatives out of my life. It was the best thing I could do. Sharing time together if one puts the other one down is useless to me. Friends became family, my kids became and my husband is. They all together are a way better family as I ever had. So if you really want you can pick out your relatives also. There is no reason to stick around people you can't stand or who can't stand you.
1 person likes this
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
thank you so much, you reminded me of what family is supposed to mean. friends now are more like family. family is when you have fun together, when you stick together for richer or for poorer. family is when they are around when you have problems. family is when they don't point out your mistakes one by one.
I think I can delete them out of my mind. But ofcourse we still have that bloodbond, so I'll just skip the boring awkward reunions. :) thank you so much friend.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
8 Feb 12
Yes I am sure if we could choose our rallies nearly all of us may chhose differently, I have seen some dreadful things with my friends relatives, it is rather sad when you think we are only here for a short time, we should try and get on I guess.
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
what i don't understand about "them" is they compete with their own relatives. financially, socially, academically and the like. I don't get why some people would choose to compete all their lives and be bitter and sarcastic. life is short you are right, you can have all the money in the world but it doesn't guarantee happiness.
thank you, thank you.. i won't waste my life on that person.
@dandan07 (1906)
• China
8 Feb 12
I also have that kind of relatives.
I think many of them are losers in their lives, while compared my weak place with their strong points can make them feel better. And sometimes they do not have any strong points they will use some other reasons to make me uncomfortable, like they are married and i am single, their partners are rich while i am not as rich as their partners and so on.
To escape from that situation, i now try stay in other city to be away from them.
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
Oh my! I think we have the same relatives! I can totally relate to you, they attack your weak points and compare it with their strong ones just to make themselves feel better! I think have a low self-esteem!
They also use the relationship thing with me.. like I am 22 and they think I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have, I just don't feel the need of informing them. they also use their money yes yes.
Good for you! run away from them! I try to go offline to stay away from them, it's good that I live away from them what a blessing, but every time i see them makes me sick.
@otakumarie (48)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
I know how it feels. If I were to have those kinds of relatives I would also would wish I could reshuffle my family list. But I think you and I should better think twice or perhaps even a hundred times of wishing to choose our relatives. they are there for a certain indispensable reason. Maybe that's why God never lets us have the freedom to choose our relatives because He already wanted to set and choose for himself what He thinks is best for us--the people he would surround us to make us who we are because HE always knew that we, more often than not, make bad choices in life. So I guess we should be thankful God has already chose our relatives for us because we could be rest assured His choices are far better than ours!!!
1 person likes this
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
thank you so much, thank you for bringing light into my... I dont how to call this.. but I am certainly irritated. well, yes come to think of it, God put them there for a reason, maybe to challenge yourself and prove to those people that you can and will be successful one day.
I also think of that sometimes, that i will use this people to challenge myself to be better. And yes, God's choices are way far better than ours, I hope God chooses a boyfriend for me ahha! :D
@dilrajj57 (1757)
• Pakistan
8 Feb 12
Hi Friend,
You choose very nice discussion about relatives but please if you explain simply, i dont understand about you told. please simply said to me.
1 person likes this
@yanzalong (18988)
• Indonesia
9 Feb 12
Don't give up in life. That's a part of life. The fact that we can not get what we want is process of life. If you don't like it, leave it or stay out of this. If you can't leave it, then stay there to endure it.
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
13 Feb 12
great point. I think I have to endure it whenever there are family reunions or so.. Of course i understand this is life, it's not perfect. But it would be better of course if i didn't live one kilometer away from that woman. haha still bitter. I just saw her a day a go or so.. so my bitterness level is on the high whenever she smiles at me because I know she makes stories behind my back. I dont know where does she get her thick face.
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
well i'll choose my relatives too given a chance. but we have no choice but to deal with them nicely. its so annoying to have them around and i can't really stand their presence. they are hypocrite and always think they are above anyone. well, if they want to be like that let it be. we cannot please people, sometimes they are just nice to you if they something from you and after that they acted as if they no nothing about you.
all i can say is, be good to people even if they are not good to you, even if they hurt and even if they disrespect you. KILL THEM WITH YOUR GOODNESS!
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
13 Feb 12
oprah said, be kind to your enemies nothing annoys them so much, so you are definitely right!
they do bad things to us and after a week or so, or they need something they ask as if nothing happened as if they didn't do us bad! i dont know how thick faced people get their guts to do that.
but i always tell myself, love your neighbor as you love yourself so i let them be.
God is my judge and not other people. I love God. He is just and unlike my other relatives who could possibly believe all the lies thrown at us, I know God knows the truth.
thank you so much for responding
@craziestqueenever (1819)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
I don't have that kind of relatives. I am so blessed to have a relatives who supported me very well. They were the ones who aided me in my studies. I feel so blessed that I have them.
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
13 Feb 12
i have relatives who are nice to me as well, they send me to school and give me stuff I just have this one relative who always creates false gossip towards everyone. She's so ugly physically that she tries to bring others down to raise her self-esteem which is so wrong,,you are lucky with your relatives, I am lucky too except for one.
@chum24 (569)
• Philippines
8 Feb 12
hi mavil85!!
yeah i have relatives too they just making gossip for my family and it hurts me a lot they put us down they are my relatives they should help us not comparing to other people it irritates me when i saw their faces. but i should still be nice to them because they are my relatives and i still respect them.
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
13 Feb 12
hi there girl!
yes, i have relatives that do the same, and i dont want to see their faces! I am a very transparent person, so if I really hate a person I cant put up a face for that person, my feelings really come out, i cant smile and i am not comfortable talking to them. I think respect is earned so.. I dont disrespect them in anyway, I just maintain the distance, good for you that you can still be nice to them and respect them..thank you girl.
@parascevi (313)
• Greece
8 Feb 12
Yes i do have some awfull relatives who i do not want to see. Some of them tried also to manipulate and control my life but i have managed to get them away and now we barely speak to each other. I know what you might went through with your relative and you are lucky that she lives away.
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
13 Feb 12
i live just one kilometer away from that relative so.. you are luckier than me. although i dont see her a lot, whenever i see her it destroys my day..
good for you, you manages to stay away from them maybe you are independent.. too bad for me i am not..
@mariab2000 (740)
• Canada
9 Feb 12
I also have a few relatives like these and it really hurts when they do or say things just to hurt you and belittle you. I'm sure we would all love to choose our own relatives just like the way we choose our friends but we jusst need to put up with relatives like these as we cannot change our relationship to them. However, we don't need to put up with their bad behaviors and actions. We should take a stand for ourselves and others in the family that these "bad" relatives are hurting. We shouldn't keep quiet just because they are our so called relatives....
@mavil85 (348)
• Philippines
13 Feb 12
the thing is that she's so manipulative that we can't stand up for ourselves. she just eats up alive with her false gossips, her forte is making false stories. she's so ugly physically and personality wise. when people praise me or my family she gets hurt and makes stories about us so that people will not praise us, i think it raises her self-esteem that way. One day I will stand up against her but for now.. I think i have to contain it.
thank you for responding
