I need some relationship advice....

As for you, maybe you should openly talk to him about it. Ask him directly.

I agree with you. While I want the physical aspect of it, I just can't have casual encounters. I want him to be serious about me, and want it all.

LOL. I just saw that movie last week. It's a little ironic, isn't it? Hmmmmm... What do I want? I want what we have now with a commitment. I don't work well with jealousy. But I know that the only way for me to get over that is to 1) have the commitment from him; or 2) walk away and forget him. Because I know deep down in my heart that our friendship is too deep and complicated to outlast either of us finding someone else. I love him with all of my heart....but if I don't get the commitment, I'm going to have to distance myself. He just doesn't understand that. We've talked about that before (before the whole romantic conversation). I told him that one day he would meet a girl and forget all about me. His response was "I'll leave her before I let her come between us". I responded with "Then you'll never have another girlfriend because there is not one single girl out there that would understand and accept you and I." But, since he is a guy, he didn't believe me. And the same thing goes for me. I know that without that commitment, one day I will have to choose between him and someone else. But for right now, I'm not pushing a commitment on him, and he's not pushing anything physical on me. We both have a decision to make.

LOL. I thought that's what a relationship was, too. :) Apparently from a guy's point of view it isn't, though. He assured me (numerous times) that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship with me, but that he didn't want one with ANYONE. So I don't know how to take that. He wants us to go out (on what I constitute as a date since he drives, he pays, etc) and he wants us to "have fun", but he doesn't want the label. I don't know.

I understand what you're saying. I guess what I'm really confused and hurt over is the way that he's labelling it. He already calls me every night to tell me "Goodnight Babe. I love you." He calls me and tells me that he's coming over to take me on a date. He has three kids and I have four, and neither of us wants any more....I can't have any more anyway. The whole conversation about our possibly being FWB's started because I point blank asked him what we were..."Just friends? More than that? Taking it slow and seeing where it goes?"....because in the past month or so, our relationship has changed. (We still haven't been physical, except for hugging, cuddling, and a few light kisses.) That's when he told me that he wants more from me...he just doesn't want a relationship with anyone. I'm just extremely confused. My ex-husband didn't even treat me as well as this guy does. (That's one of the reasons why I divorced him. LOL) But what we have sure feels like our friendship has moved into a relationship without either of us realizing it. Unless I made him take a long look at it the other day when I confronted him. (It took him a loooong time to answer me) But what you said is right. No change isn't always a bad thing. I would be perfectly happy with keeping things the way they are now (even adding the FWB part) except for the whole jealousy thing. If I give in or if I don't, the only way that we are going to be able to stay in each other's lives forever (like we have both said we want) is if we are together. Other girlfriends and boyfriends would not understand....neither would I for that matter.

Oh. I want a commitment (to be exclusive) but I'm faaaaar away from being ready for marriage again....if ever. And I haven't gone to bed with him yet. I'm just torn as to whether or not I will make that change.

What I mean is, he thinks enough of me to be his best friend and confidant, and he is obviously attracted to me. But he's making me feel like I'm not enough for him to be committed to.

I have. That's why I'm asking all of you. The only answer I received from him was "I don't want a relationship with anyone right now"

maybe you can ask him directly ask him when he is still happy..

I know that in the past he was hurt very badly by his "baby-mama". And he keeps telling me that I'm the only one he has, and that he doesn't want to lose me. But he still wants us to go out and he wants us to "have fun". And I may be crazy, but when we go out, it always feels like a date to me. Sometimes he even calls it that. But regardless, he picks me up, we go out, he pays, etc. He's keeps telling me that no matter what he does in life, I will be right there by his side. I keep thinking that maybe he is, in fact, really scared of losing me. But with the way my feelings are going, he may do just that anyway.

don`t accuse him like that?/ why she did not ask directly the man??

Well, it is true that he wants me in his bed. He knows that I want the same thing. But I have the same problem as you. I don't know what he's thinking. In his defense, he's really a great guy. He's never cheated on his exes and he takes care of his three daughters. He will even do anything in the world for my four kids. He's really the only father-figure they have ever known. We already basically have the relationship, just not the label.

so do you mean, you and him always make a s8x?? so what is his opinion or his feeling after doing that?? does he always said that he loves you?