Being Jealous for Peoples??? aren't its abnormal???

"Jealousy is usually some sort of fear of failure, or inferiority, that we are not "good enough" to receive the rewards in life."---On the contrary, is there not a possibility that a person feels "I am so good that I deserve to get such rewards in life ; instead this has gone to a person less deserving." This is how jealous people always come through in the course of conversation;isn't it Derek? Since you are a therapist, do you tend to look at the issue with a more benevolent eye than normal?

Hi Kalav, There are no hard and fast rules here, what I have given is a generalisation. As a therapist, I have always taken each client as an individual and in a case of someone coming across as "I am so good that I deserve to get such rewards... " I would need to look to the person behind that manifestation to see if it is covering up a sense of inferiority - why would they need to project that? etc. I have seen extremely confident and capable people who are very quiet and modest. There are many different ways that jealousy comes across. Some would be outspoken and demanding, some would be ashamed, for instance, suffering in silence. It would depend on how a person had learned to be jealous. If it is OK to be jealous, or if it is something that is an aberration.. As a therapist my aim is always to be unbiased and accepting of all people and not judge. This is difficult, because I am subject to negative feelings as anyone else. Having practiced Zen for around 30 years, it supports me in accepting situations the way they are. When there is an undesirable feeling or situation for any of us, we have to begin by going into the inner experience deeply and find resolution that is rarely fixed by the intellect alone as that has been conditioned by societal "rules and regulations". If we want to transcend it, we need to get to the source of how/when we created it, and how we have been (subconsciously) using it. This is just the opinions I have formed over the years by looking into the way my own mind has things wired together. I have found the most effective interactions has come from being spontaneous, almost intuitive with a client. We all hold within our minds each other... We "create" each other.. _Derek

"my aim is always to be unbiased and accepting of all people and not judge."--I approve of this totally ; I am no therapist but am supposed to be a very good listener. I had many students in my own tuition centre and the mothers of many of my students used to be my friends.I feel that the attitude not to judge is primarily the focal aspect in any relationship.And as you have pointed out, who does not have negative thoughts surfacing? THanks for the wonderful elaboration.