His friend is a one-upper!!!
By courtknee525
@courtknee525 (3742)
United States
February 27, 2012 9:17am CST
Yesterday I went to the beach with my boyfriend and one of his good friends. I've hung out with both of them before and I have to say, his friend can sort of get on my nerves. He tends to act like he's the best at everything and I know that my boyfriend sometimes gets a little angry at the comments he'll make, like how he's always trying to say that he's stronger than my boyfriend. Not to be biased or anything, but I know my boyfriend has a lot of strength especially if it comes down to wrestling around for fun.
The biggest thing that annoys the both of us is how he is a "one-upper". On the car ride home we were talking about sports and extra curricular things we did as kids. I said I took dance class and then got into riding horses. The next thing his friend said was "Oh, I have 4 horses and I ride too. I also took dance for years and learned how to tango, salsa, etc, etc". It kind of drove me nuts because he's like that with everything. You name it and this kid says he's done it, and half the time I really don't believe him and neither does my boyfriend.
My boyfriend says that his friend gets mad when he's called a one-upper or know it all, but if you get upset when people call you that, shouldn't it be motivation to stop acting like that?
I just don't like that he has to top everyone by saying things he's probably never even done. It also gets my boyfriend angry and it happened last night when we were all playing xbox online together. His friend will make little jabs at him and I can tell when my boyfriend gets angry. He got so mad by what his friend kept saying that he got off xbox completely and stopped playing for the night.
How do you deal with someone who is a one-upper and has a comment for everything??
2 people like this
10 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
28 Feb 12
I think the only way his friend can feel pleasure is by thinking he is the best. I assume the only way he got noticed at home was by " winning" It is so sad. So now he is a empty shell. Just a winning machine.Now it is up to your boyfriend. If he Really makes you angry , then cut the ties. When you are alone, tell boyfriend he Is the winner , he has you. He Has true feelings. The friend wouldn't know a true feeling if it slapped him across the face. I pity him.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
28 Feb 12
He can give it a try but I fear the friend won't hear him. Hang in there.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
29 Feb 12
You're probably right. I know his friend hates being called a know it all or a one upper. If he doesn't like it you'd think it would be an incentive to change.
Oh well, I'll just try to avoid him as much as possible.
1 person likes this
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
28 Feb 12
He really does love being the best at everything, even though I know he's really not. I always hear him bragging about girls and how he can dance and it attracts women. This guy has a girlfriend who he says he really cares about, but to me, he's a pig and always points out how hot girls are or how he does things that attracts him. Being around him makes me realize how lucky I am to have such a sweet guy like my boyfriend who is the complete opposite of a pig. Whatever it is, this guy seems to have major ego issues and I think my boyfriend should nicely talk to him about it and let him know how childish he acts.
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
28 Feb 12
I stay as far away from people like that as I possibly can. I hate that it is your bf's friend. It sounds as if your bf has been putting up with it for quite some time. The fact that you were with the two of them might have pushed the friend over the edge to take it further. People like this are really very insecure and have try to prove to themselves as well as the people around them that they are worthy of the company they keep. Just hang in there and try to stay away from him.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
28 Feb 12
My boyfriend is very good at brushing off annoying behaviors and not letting them bother him...lol he puts up with me and some of my not-so pleasant behavior. But it's really annoying to even have a conversation because he has to top everything you say and so most of the time I keep my mouth shut around him.
I think my boyfriend should have a talk with him one on one to let him know how he's acting and to try and tone it down a bit.
@65462011sandra (22)
• South Africa
28 Feb 12
Maybe, he is very insecure and needs to feel accepted all the time. Maybe your boyfriend should talk to him about it, in a nice and decent manner by telling him he has a problem. Confront him, and maybe he will realise it and then maybe the next time he will consider his words first before opening his mouth, because some people have a way of not thinking before they speak, but they really do not mean any harm, if its your boyfriend's friend then he should tell him about it and not build a resentment for the guy and every time he opens his mouth he feels upset. Still love him, and be honest all people are different, imagine if we were all the same how, dull this world would have been, a little diplomacy will sort our this gripe! I am just a great believer in building one another and not to tear each other with words, just because we want to avoid confrontation. Be honest tell him about his problem and just maybe he will see the folly of his ways.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
28 Feb 12
He sounds like the guy in our group who my friends would sometimes call the prophet. I deal with him by just ignoring him or not saying anything at all. I know he lies when there are one-ups that just sounds ridiculously untrue, so in those situation I try to say something that would make him realized that I realized and know he is giving me B.S., that way he would be the one feeling awkward and just shut up or change another topic in which he could once again be the hero in. I think this type of people have insecurity issues. I don't know how to cure this but I know I have handled a few.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
28 Feb 12
I think he probably has major insecurity issues. No matter what we talk about he seems to have already done it bigger and better. Most of the time, my boyfriend doesn't believe a word he says. I'm not sure how to cure this either, I just know it's very annoying to be around.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
11 Mar 12
I used to work with someone just like that. It was like he was an expert at anything and everything. There were no situation in which he knew all about it, or he knew somebody who was a guru.
It got to be annoying to be around him. So, except when I really had to, for work reasons, I always tried to avoid him.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
11 Mar 12
This guy is the exact same way. He can't ever just accept your story and agree, he always has to have a bigger, better story to top it. My boyfriend is starting to notice it a lot now too, even with simple things when he talks to him on the phone. He's starting to get really annoyed and he says he's started hanging out with him less because of it and also because of the fact that when he's around other people, he's rude and sort of mean to my boyfriend.
I feel bad that my boyfriend's friend treats him that way, but I think it's good that he's trying to distance himself a bit. Lol I get really defensive when it comes to my boyfriend and I don't like seeing him treated like that.
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
28 Feb 12
Yeah that would be very frustrating. Sorry to hear that he drives you both crazy. I guess for me I would just limit my association with him. I just personally can't take being around people who annoy me. I just feel it wastes the little precious free time that I do have. And I don't want to be annoyed during that time. I hope that he gets the hint to stop acting that way. It will be better for all of you if he does.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
28 Feb 12
I was unhappy the entire day. I didn't really want to go to the beach in the first place because it was windy and cloudy, but my boyfriend insisted we go. The next thing that really ticked me off was that his annoying friend came and even invited himself to stay at my boyfriend's house afterwards. Since my boyfriend is leaving soon, I want to spend time with just him, not his friends.
@Cranos (273)
• Belgium
27 Feb 12
I'd feel sorry for him. He's obviously overcompensating for something. He's probably very insecure deep down. Personally I think I'd dare him to prove he's good at dancing or something. If he's lying he'll back down immediately and stay more silent for the rest of the evening.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
27 Feb 12
My boyfriend and I just think he's a compulsive liar. I just ignore it because he just gets even more confident with his lies and doesn't back down. It's very frustrating and I don't really enjoy being around his friend that much.
@kat_princess (1470)
• Philippines
29 Feb 12
I hate people like that.I'd stay away from them because I don't like to say something that is bad about others & talk about it with people I know.It's hard not to let them get on my nerves but I try.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
27 Feb 12
That happens to me online. It's annoying. It would drive me insane to hear that all the time when I know they are lying. I've got a built in lie detector in my head; I can usually tell when someone is lying. Sometimes they look past me and not at me, or they comfort themselves while they are talking or look down and away when I ask them to elaborate on their lie.
On line though, you can't see the person.. I just ignore them. If we have a conversation and everything I say the other person does it better or has it worse, I just drop the email and let it ride until the next day when the person is off of that I'm better than you mentality or I'm smarter than you mentality, or I can do this or that better than you mentality.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
27 Feb 12
It really does get on my nerves. My aunt is like that too, if you tell a story about someone you know, she has a story about someone who has it worse. Usually I can tell if people are lying also, but this kid says it all confidently. I also think he's a compulsive liar. I work with a girl like that too and I knew her a few years before working together and I know she has a few true psychological issues. She's a compulsive liar as well and she's even tried to tell me lies about my boyfriend!
And it seems that when you try to call them out on it, they're so convinced with their lies that they'll keep spouting them to you and almost make you believe them.
This girl has done it a few times with me and I just brush it off and then I go ask my boyfriend. I can tell when he's lying and he's being truthful when he denies what the girl says.
It would be easier to deal with a normal liar because I have called people out on their lies or asked for an elaboration and they just froze up. Unfortunately, his friend is a confident liar (as well as the girl I work with), and when you question them they just get even more confident with their lies and tell you more lies.
@sourabharoy1992 (730)
• India
27 Feb 12
Actual i feel dicusting in this situation. And dont want to face like this situation.
Your story is really horrible. I think your boyfriend's friend behavour like a child.
Dont mind!
@magester1 (148)
• Argentina
28 Feb 12
That would depend on each person individually, I am certain some of then don't mean to make you feel inferior or anything, just don't know how to actually add something useful to the conversation and blurt out their personal experiences.
Although, if he does that all the time about absolutely everything, then yes, he might just be trying to show off, with lies...
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
28 Feb 12
Oh no, he does this with every single topic that's brought up and he has to top whatever you say or do. I do understand that some people don't know how to properly add something in to conversation and may come off as bragging, but this guy does it with everything we talk about. He comes up with crazy lies that are obviously not true.
