Marrying a person without having a job is a right thing?
By harini23
@harini23 (84)
India
March 11, 2012 12:43pm CST
One of my friend asked me to give a suggestion that, her parents are asking her to Mary a person who is not having job but having property of 2crores.And she is not willing to get Mary with that person as he is not doing any job.But her parents are saying that all of us will do job for money only.He has money.Then what is the problem of marrying him.can u people suggest me,What suggestion I need to give her?
5 people like this
38 responses
@god_is_good (683)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
If I am the parent, I would be suggesting to my son or daughter to marry someone who has a business, even without a job. Owning a business is very far better than owning a job. A business can provide for a lifetime while a job will just provide for months or years you are doing the job description. I am now shifting my mind into a business mentality than for a job. If I am the girl, I would not marry someone who cannot even feed himself. If I marry someone, that someone must have the assets to provide for the family now, tomorrow, and the future. Therefore, it is important that both parties understand all the areas when they plan to marry. Have a wonderful day ahead.
@stary1 (6612)
• United States
11 Mar 12
god_is_good...You have a point, but as in all things, a business can fail whether directly the fault of the owner or not. I do agree owning and runing a business usually means one has the skills needed to earn money and especially shows the person has self discipline
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
Having assets also important. sometimes we may loose our job or we may get lose in business, in that time assets will help you but you should not waste assets unless you have a proper need with it to spend. Every needs source of income, having assets is not enough, you should increase the value of assets for your future and your children's future.
@harini23 (84)
• India
12 Mar 12
Hi God_is_good.Whatever u said is correct.If he has a business then no need to worry to Mary him.But the point is,she likes the man who has some job,ambitions etc.If he is a intelligent guy then earning money is not that much difficult.So she wants an intelligent guy to Mary.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
11 Mar 12
First of all I think nobody should marry without a good reason (one is love of them) or with someone against his/her will.
Secondly: to my opinion a relationship/marriage will never work if there is not enough money to live from. A lack of money will kill every feeling and nearly every joy, happiness, relationship since there will always be worries.
Third: I also would not be happy with a man who does not work, never worked before. It would drive me crazy to have a man hanging around me, just spending money.
You don't need to give her any suggestion. She already made clear she doesn't like him or want to get married to him. I think you should respect that, you are not the one who has to marry this man.
1 person likes this
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
As you said money can change us anytime. If a person has no job and if he or she like other person and wants to marry, definitely that person do job or something for that person because they have to live them self after marriage. If that person likes really he or she doe not live her partner to work alone. Money is not only the thing to get married whether it is harini23 or her friend.
@harini23 (84)
• India
12 Mar 12
Hi kitty.She did not decided yet.she also does not like the person who is not working.But her parents wanted her to Mary that person.So She is in a dilemma.She asked me suggestion.That is the reason i worried what i need to tell to her.In what way i can explain her which is the better option.And the 3 points what u said is correct.thanks for suggesting.
@harini23 (84)
• India
12 Mar 12
Pramod, My friend is also thinking like you only.Having money is not important.doing job is important.But at present he is also searching job.if he gets a job then no need to worry at all.But the problem comes is whether he will get job before marriage? And if she Mary him, Then he is not able to get job means, then what will be the situation?
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Mar 12
i would think income would be a big factor.the only thing is if he has money why would she care as long as he earns his own way. but the biggest thing is does she love him or think she will learn to? im sorry but i dont think arranged marriages work in todays society. even in other countries it seems to be outdated. 
1 person likes this
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
If they love each other, they need not think about money they will earn themselves.Nowadays arranged marriages getting failed, arranged marriages became a business deal. In arrange marriages they see property, religion, area, history of family but these things are not enough to live life long together.
@harini23 (84)
• India
13 Mar 12
Even i do not like arranged marriages but finding love is also much difficult these days.And that too finding true love is more difficult.But what people will do if they will not get love. Obviously they will go for arranged marriages only.So that is the reason my friend is opted for arranged marriage.
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
If that marriage is love marriage, need not worry because we knew everything about our partner so we can plan our future easily. If the marriage is going to arranged we may get worried because we don't about our partner.We have to know his or her family back ground and the behavior of that person, if we take any wrong step here we have to lose valuable things in life.
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
Yes.we have think seriously before we are going to Mary someone.AS he said in arranged marriages we might not know about that person very much when compare to love marriage.But we know at least some points about him.So taking right decision is important in both arranged marriages and love marriages also.
@vinodhkanna2005 (153)
• India
11 Mar 12
I think we cant able to marry a person only based on the property. First we have to look about the guy. How is that guy and have to check his personality and behaviour. If he is good on these two things. Then He never put his property as a waste and live. He will definately do any business using those property. So only business is good thing comparing to job. If he is going any good business and he is really a good person. Then definately your friend can marry him.
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
I think it take too much time to know the behavior and personality of a person. As we know in case of arranged marriages we can know the status and primary details like address, designation, habits. I think These things are not enough to identify a person.
having property also important, if the whom we like has no property but he can earn money then its good to select him as our life partner.
@harini23 (84)
• India
13 Mar 12
Yes.First we have to think about the guy only.Whether he is good or not.Whether he is caring person or not.Whether he will give respect to elders and his parents are not.Whether he can handle life without any problems are not.That much intelligence he has or not.All that we need to know about him.Then only we should think about him to Mary or not
@onevoicemia (67)
• United States
11 Mar 12
Even if he has a lot of money how does she know what he did to earn it since he doesn't work? A man who doesn't work for the things he gains in this world isn't much of a man in my opinion. He did nothing to earn it therefore he does not deserve it. I would tell your friend that she deserves better then that & to wait for the right man to come along, one that is more worthy of her.
1 person likes this
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
Some people get property after their parents, that is not their credit, that credit and prestige goes to their persons. They have to do some thing except that property. They have to get their identity in the world, then only they are eligible to marry in my opinion. They should not become burden to others. Having self earning to a person is very important.
@harini23 (84)
• India
12 Mar 12
Hi.His father is having property like land,house etc.That whole property is cost is that much.As u said a man has to work.Simply sitting and enjoying his dad property will not be good.He has to earn money.as he did nothing until now.So better she has to suggest him to get a good job.
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
12 Mar 12
Well, maybe she does not want to marry a man just because he has money, as money never made anyone Happy, and instead would like to marry someone who has to work for everything they get. Personally I prefer someone having to work out there in the world compared to someone who was just handed something. Makes them respect life and people a little more for sure.
@olliekobra1 (1825)
•
13 Mar 12
Thats true but i think that the best reason that people should get married are out of love.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
11 Mar 12
I think that both the husband and the wife should have jobs because you both need to income in order to keep things going.
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
12 Mar 12
It isn't about property, but about keep a roof over your head and your significant other's head. It's about keeping food on the table and about having health care if you both end up sick. Things aren't easy these days.
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
As you said things are not easy these days. If husband has a good job and getting high salary then wife does not need to do job. When husband has a job with less salary then wife also should do job. Savings are also very important. Savings will helpful in the future. Property is not a need but job is compulsory to live.
1 person likes this
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
Property is always secondary thing for living. we should work to live, if possible two persons means wife and husbands try to work. Nowadays getting one job for a family became tough. They should have future planning also, having money is not enough they should have an idea about spending the money and keeping safely the money.
1 person likes this
@dandan07 (1906)
• China
12 Mar 12
Job is many people is a way to earn money, in most cases, they do not like their jobs.
Working for money, so if they have money, they will not take the job anymore.
But I think career is not the same case. Career is a long period project. A person may not have his/her job, but he/she is still in his/her career.
So whether a man has a job is not the most important things, but he should has his own career. A man with career, he will not give up his responsibility easily and usually has the ability to make his partner happy.
Only has a big fortune can not make sure for nothing.
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
yes.what u said is correct.Person should have his own ideas to lead a life.He has to think about future and how we can develop ourselves to reach certain stage of success.If he has these thoughts then without doing job is not a big matter.Ultimate thing is he has to make her partner happy all the time.
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
12 Mar 12
Hi.It is not right to married to a person without any jobs.Because how can the family feed if no work,no money,no salary?
It is hard that situation,and specially in these days,money is hard to get .It is always right to wait in the right time to marry,and have job.
@befrindwithme26 (5805)
• Philippines
27 Mar 12
Yes ,we must be wise to have relationship because if you are in the person that has no job,we are sorry and also it is our fault and that your partner no job,no work and can't feed you.
It is shame..
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
Yes.she needs to wait until he gets a job.Without job we cannot handle the situations properly.If we want to spend some money,Every time need to think how we will get that money, even he is having property also.If job is there then there will be freedom to spend money.she has to wait for a good time.Thanks.
1 person likes this
@dazzledlady (1618)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
In my opinion it is a matter of preference. She did not want to marry someone with money but do not know how to work. Maybe because she knows how hard it is to work and earn your keep and the guy should too. We can never be sure in this world. What if he suddenly loses that property? what will happen to her? She knows how to work but as the man in the family it is also his responsibility to provide for the family. Oftentimes work denotes responsibility and if you do not know how to work you may never appreciate it and will just become a burden. And it is that sense of responsibility that will make up a good family. Another thing is I personally do not believe in marrying for money. Because you do not share a strong emotion to withstand trials so it is bound to fail anytime, so why bother go through all the trouble and be a divorcee in the end.
1 person likes this
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
I think she( friend of harini23) is mentally matured girl. She knows that needs of a family. understanding between two persons is very important. if that guy really wants her( friend of harini23), he will say her about her financial condition and convince her that he can feed her and take care of her because he is also a not small kid.these two persons communication is very important.
@harini23 (84)
• India
12 Mar 12
Hi dazzle.My friend is also thinking like u only.She knows the value of work.And she wants her life in a comfort zone.She is not willing to take risks.Risk in the sense, as u said what will happen if he suddenly looses his property.He has to know the work value then only things will be better.
@Sindrum91 (254)
• United States
11 Mar 12
Personally I believe you should only marry for love. If She truly loves him, then who cares what her family thinks? At the end of the day It's her life and it's her decision. If she is content and happy with him without a job. That's all that matters! Sadly Her parents may not be happy about this, But in my opinion if they really love their daughter. They will be happy for her if she is happy. Good luck friend! :)
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
Actually it's completely dependent on her only. She has to question herself that what does she want exactly.she wants money or love or she likes to marry whom her parents select. Some girls sacrifices their dreams and goals for their parents by marrying their parents selected parents.
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
Actually her parents wants her to marry that person.She did not know him before.She is not able to take decision whether she has to listen her parents or she has to take own decision.But the thing is she likes her parents very much.She will do anything for them.But in this case,she does not know what to do.
@manaleli101 (146)
• South Africa
11 Mar 12
Life without money is full of worries and kills any emotion, as Wakeupkitty has said. But I guess your friend should know what she wants.
@pramod_123 (20)
•
12 Mar 12
money is compulsory for living but money is not everything in life. Many people living without having any property, they living by just working. I think In this case that girl should give first priority to the person's character.Here money or property is secondary. If the person's character is bad even though he has property, not correct to marry this person.
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
yes.Whatever u people said is correct.Money is not everything in life.First we have to see the character of the person whether he is good or not.First preference we need to give to that only.Then only we have to think about property.If he is having good character and upon that property also then it will be more beneficial.
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
Yes.It is her parents decision only.Not her decision.But parents also will think about her daughter life only first.They are saying that it is a correct match for her.But her thoughts are different than he parents thoughts.She likes the guy who is intelligent and who is working.So here the problem comes.Ultimately it will depend upon her decision only i feel.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
11 Mar 12
Does she love him? Is his property enough to support a family? Ask your friend these questions. If she answers yes to both then she should heed the advice of her parents.
I agree with the parents that we need a job only for money and to support our family. If we have enough money to support the family for our entire lives, why get a job? But if the money is not enough to support a family, then I think your friend shouldn't marry him.
@harini23 (84)
• India
14 Mar 12
No.she is not loving him.It is like arranged marriage for her.His parents said that they are having this much property.So her parents are saying that, what is the problem when he is having property even he is not having job.She does not know what to do.let us see what will happen and what decision she is going to take.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
2 Oct 12
hi,
if you are a practical person then you will never marry a person without having a job,but if you will use your heart and you really love that person having a job or even nothing you will still accept that person and still okay for you to live with and marry that person.
@shwetat195 (628)
• India
15 Mar 12
marriage is not abt jobs...it is abt life...since it is one of the happening discussion...i want to also ask wht wud one do if the other person gets unemployed after marriage. one shud get married to if they think they both can live happily...if they complete each other. i wud suggest ur friend shud enquire more abt the person....if the person is educated, qualified and from a decnt fasmily background ..they both are compatible with each other then job is not so important
@Tamosree1993 (1525)
• India
15 Mar 12
I think it is not right. Because in married couples it is very complecated life.
@Shavkat (139937)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
In time of this kind of scenario, it is really difficult to decide for your own sake, especially if it was influenced by culture. You might suggest to your dear friend to make a check list or a decision tree, then evaluate the items had been listed. Can it be worthy to marry an elite guy or a guy with sense of responsibility to find a job?
