Is it okay to have a secret account?
By asyria51
@asyria51 (2861)
United States
March 22, 2012 9:07pm CST
I have my own paypal account. I set it up when I was working craft fairs and selling stuff online and I used to transfer the money as soon as it was in paypal to mine and my husbands joint accounts.
Now I let my money accumulate in paypal and do not really tell my husband about it. I do not lie about it and say that it is not there, but I do not openly announce what is in there every month when we are paying bills. I use the money to buy presents for him(that way stuff can be a surprise because we share a credit card account), or when I want to splurge and buy that pair of shoes that I would not use the "family budget" on.
What are your feelings about a secret account?
1 person likes this
15 responses
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
26 Mar 12
It's not like you're stashing an account to go run away with the mail man. I think it's cute. That way you can surprise him. Totally down with that.
@writersedge (22563)
• United States
1 Apr 12
I had a rough time responding to my discussions yesterday, too, right after I put them up. Must have been a problem on Mylot.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
1 Apr 12
I read this yesterday, and then had computer issues before i could respond to most of the things i wanted to respond too.
I did however see my mail man today, and there is no risk in me running off with him. There is a real reason why he is on a route that has all of the mailboxes curbside.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
23 Mar 12
There was a time in my life that I would have thought that it was a very bad thing to have money that your spouse didn't know about. However, in the last few weeks, I've been seriously thinking about opening an account of my own because of the fact that my husband has been going through money like it is water.
There is a chance that I might leave him in the near future because he is having a problem with prescription pain killers and not only is it killing him, it is killing the children and myself as well.
Thus, I think that there is nothing wrong with having your own secret account and I'm working on setting mine up right now.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
23 Mar 12
I don't think that this is really a secret. It's just a separate account.
I have a small stash of money in paypal as well. my husband knows it's there but he doesn't look at it or really think about it. he knows the account information though.
@picjim (3002)
• India
23 Mar 12
No problems holding such secret accounts.Once in a while you have to be secretive to accumulate money in your account.You are any way using it for your family's benefit,hence no need to feel bad about it.You are in a way lightening the family expenses by footing a part of the expenses and that only helps the family and not cause burden on it.
@cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
Well, even if the account is a secret or disclosed, the important thing is that the gift is given that came from the heart.
@TheIzers (680)
•
23 Mar 12
I think you keep it a secret for a good reason so I don't think that's a bad thing, and also soon as he received the present from you he would ask how you get the money and it won't be a secret no more. So I think it's ok. It doesn't do any harm to your marriage.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
23 Mar 12
I don't see as to where you can really call it a secret account. You do buy nice things for your husband from it and he knows it's there, I'd just call it the "Gift" account. I don't think a couple should have secrets like that, that the accounts should be open, even if they aren't shared.
Now I don't believe what you are doing is wrong either, he does know it's there. I feel like this, if he was to ask about it I'd say something, if not I wouldn't make a peep. I would offer to use money from it on a tight month, and leave it up to him.
Well that's just me.
Secret accounts? No. "reserved" accounts like yours is? Yes.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
23 Mar 12
As I was thinking about it, it really is not secret. It is an account that I do not use as much because I am working full time and do not have time to be making stuff to sell right now. I still have my online accounts attached to it so it gets some action, I just do not check it as often.
I have had to deplete it on tight months, like last summer when I was not working and then my transmission on my car needed to be replaced. Now I am thinking of just letting the money accumulate for a while.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
23 Mar 12
I really don't see the problem. As long as he knows about it. I never really understood how married couples do it - sharing their funds like that. I think it's only normal to spend the money YOU make. But then again I am not married so ask me again in 10 years or so, and I might change my mind. 
.I don't think there's anything wrong with you keeping a little spending money on the side though.
.I don't think there's anything wrong with you keeping a little spending money on the side though. 
@narnia007 (1050)
• India
23 Mar 12
You cannot call it as a secret account.You did not lie to your husband nor did you pretend that such an account does not exist.It is so sweet to know that you use those cash to give surprise birthday gifts and all.Even if your husband comes to know about this,he will be very much pleased and even more happy to know that you take interest in saving money and giving him surprises.Only when you hide your account from your husband,it is a secret account leading to failure of marriages.
@shrmanoj (382)
•
23 Mar 12
Obviously, every person should have secret account but if you are married you should not cheat your husband/wife. It will make a big problem one day if you cheat your life partner. It is okay if you can keep very secret from your partner otherwise it is not a good work.
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
23 Mar 12
Well , I have also a secret account , but , is not that I dont want to tell is that I have anotherone which my h. knows, and I opened this one to save the money i was earning in the computer, I feel is not a secret its just that I dont say it aloud. If my husband see and find out my book account i will tell him without any surprise. but , I really want to have it for saving some money , I dont touch it at all , Dont worry , just , if he find out , explain the same way you explain us. Have a good day my friend.
@jazzieruffa (19)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
well for me, i dont think its a secret, because beforehand he has an idea about it, your just not vocal about it. but regarding your question, i think its fine to have an own account,but as a husband and white.. its better to tell him about it.. so you will not worry anymore :)
@doccerz (46)
• Philippines
23 Mar 12
Secret accounts are fine. Everyone has secrets. And it's not really something astronomical and also not something that would ruin your relationship. So, it's fine.
With regards to keeping secrets from your husband, even though you're saying you are not lying to him, it still is dishonesty. If you're deliberately leaving out other parts of the truth, it is still being dishonest. Especially, if you feel like there might be something wrong about it.
But then again, I don't think there's something wrong with personal secrets.
@babytaffster (2232)
• Chatsworth, California
23 Mar 12
I don't see why not. There is nothing wrong with "hiding" money for personal use. Especially when clothing is involved. There is no crime in wanting a new pair of shoes. As long as you don't lie about it then who cares. Your money, your life. I say do it.
