Help Me Please
By Mickie30
@Mickie30 (2626)
March 27, 2012 4:44pm CST
Hi I need help please. I don't know what to do. I have been diagnosed with Schizoidaffective Disorder which is a mental health illness. I am married to a man who is addicted to codeine and sleeps most of the time. He does very little house work and if I say anything to him he gets all defensive. He is paid to be my full time carer.
I have 2 kids aged 2 1/2 and 6 years old. I feel it is totally unfair for them to live in such poor conditions of living, but my husband cannot see this. I try my best to tidy up, but I have very little motivation. Especially since, every time I do tidy up, it gets messy again and my husband leaves his clothes and stuff about the house. Again, if I say anything he gets all defensive.
For the last 3 days I have been in a respite center for my mental illness which has got really bad. I left the house in an all right condition, but when I got back it was awful. I flipped last night and walked out for 3 hours. I do not remember much about it, but I feel like walking out again. My husband phoned the police and the crisis team.
He had a go for me walking out saying that I did not trust him to tidy up like he said he would. When I got back, the house was in the same condition. It kills me to say this, but I think my kids would be better off in care. Maybe it would shock him into doing something about his life. I know he has his own problems, but my parents think it is his own fault for taking cocodomal. Since he got home from picking the kids up he went back to sleep. I asked him to watch a film with me and he promised he would get up and watch it, but he is still in bed. I feel so low that I feel like ending everything. I think my kids would be better off without me. If I left him, then I know I would not be able to keep the kids that I love completely. However, I cannot go on like this. I don't know what the answer is. I feel so desperately low and like I am on my own in this.
I do not know what to do. Everything is so unreal right now. I don't want to go back into hospital because that would mean the house would be out of control. My kids cannot cope when I am in hospital it hurts them so much. I feel like my husband is paid to care for me, but he needs help himself. He sleeps most of the time and when he isn't sleeping he is playing on his computer. Please help.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@nurseclare (2209)
• Philippines
28 Mar 12
hello mickie, I really want to talk to you more. I am praying soon you'll be fine. Please be strong for yourself and for your family. I know and I can feel you are tough and you can survive all this stuff.
I am sad when you mentioned about your mental illness, which is ma a nurse totally understand you and would like to help you. Just be open, share your feelings here in mylot, let go of all the negative thoughts you feel.I will pray for you mickie.
I hope in time your husband will realize how you need him to build a good family. Both of you needs your kids.
Please dont end up everything, Just be brave. Don't worry everything will fall into great. You will be fine. Don't lose hope and always pray..
hugs and kisses from me
1 person likes this
@Mickie30 (2626)
•
29 Mar 12
Hi thanks, I feel a lot brighter than I did the other night. I can feel the prayers of everyone around and I know God is there in this situation. My kids are everything to me and I only want the very best for them. Sometimes when I am so low I feel like I cannot give them everything. Thanks so much for your kind words.
@kirby_allyster (70)
• Philippines
28 Mar 12
i'm not really sure about your disease or what medicines to suggest in order to soothe your condition..but i know only one thing that can really cure you and it is praying..offer your self to GOD and have him help you..i'm sure one of these days you will find comfort..GOD bless
1 person likes this
@Mickie30 (2626)
•
29 Mar 12
Thanks. Everyone has been really great and understanding. I really needed support when I wrote this the other night I felt at my lowest, but God is good and He has been healing me. I feel a lot brighter than what I did. My Pastor and His wife have given me a nice surprise also. They are having the kids on Saturday evening so we can go out for a meal together and talk things through. They are even paying for the meal. Talk about being kind. So I am looking forward to it.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Mar 12
hi mickie take care of you and your kids too.see if uour parents wil not take you and yur kids in so you can get the
help you need for your mental health. surely your parents care
what is happening to their grand kids? you need care, your children need care in better surroungings and your addict husband is not going to get better no matter how much you love him until he is forced to get help for his addiction.your mom is right,he is there becau se he did this to himself. forget him and save yourself and
your children. get well then you can care for your children
if mom will not tke you and your kids get the number of your closest
women'shelter and go there with your children they will see you get mental help too. but go to your parents firet hugs get well.
@Mickie30 (2626)
•
29 Mar 12
Hi my Pastor and his wife are looking after the children on Saturday night for us and are paying for a meal for the both of us. I think it is so kind of them. They really want to help us and I think that is so nice. I am feeling a lot brighter than I did. Thanks for your kind words.
@shylade (3132)
• Philippines
28 Mar 12
i feel your pain because i am a mother too. but never think of ending your own life because you have your children. they badly needed you as you are syaing it too. your husband must help you with this because he is your husband and the father of your children. being the head of the family he should take care of you and your children financially, physically and emotionally.
pray always and ask for God's guidance for with Him nothing is impossible. He will not give you a burden you cannot handle. i will share with you my favorite bible verse: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light - Matthew Chap. 11, verses 28-30".
remember that this too shall pass. i hope you get better soon and my prayers are with you.
1 person likes this
@TheIzers (680)
•
28 Mar 12
Hugs you Mickie, I am so sorry your family have to go through all of that. It's good to know you reach out and I think is not only you who need to get help but your husband as well for he can start to be a real father and a real husband who are strong and can take care of you and the children better when the family in crisis like this. My pray with you and wish you and your husband can get help that you both need for you can take care your children in better situation. God Bless
@Mickie30 (2626)
•
29 Mar 12
It has been a hard time recently and things have been tough. I feel better than I did. I hate for the kids to have to see me at my lowest. My 6 year old really understands, but I don't want to put pressure on her because she is only young. Then I think she will be more understanding of mental health problems when she gets older.
@bobben012 (35)
• Germany
27 Mar 12
Hi , I´m not a doctor but what I can read is that you are really worried about your family . Please stay strong and don´t lose faith that it will be better . There are important things that you must solve before it escalates . I believe that your kids are giving you power and energy which you need to cure . Try in a paeceful way to open your husbands eyes . I´m sure deep in his heart he don´t want to lose his wife or his children . Tell him that you understand his troubles and you are standing behind him . He can´t support you without his inner strenght . He´s will is the key . Most of the people are in any kind depresive . The point is how to handle it . Avoid heavy discussions . Try it the feminin way .
I´m wishing you really all the best , stay strong even when it´s tough
the children need their mom and dad
AFTER THE RAIN COMES ALLWAYS THE SUN -
P.S. forgive me my poor english LOL
1 person likes this
@iola2012 (172)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
You can consult a doctor to prescribed medicine appropriate for your mental condition. That kind of condition can not be eliminated, it stays there as long as you live. But, let us hope for the best, your doctor could give better advice.
