My boyfriend and I may not be able to get married because he is Hindu...

So technically, Hinduism allows marriage from diffeerent relion, but because they believe in Karma, they prefer not to get married with the person from different religion, right? Have you consider changing for him, or him changing for you?

Thank you dupremo, I didn't know exactly if they prohibit marrying a person of another religion. Yes, bhonti, that would be a serious problem! haha I'd be sooo out of luck... that'd be awful. But I'm glad to hear it isn't prohibited. Everytime I asked that of my bf he'd short of answer but mostly explain that it's not just because I'm not Hindu, it's because I'm also not from the same area of India that his family is from (like where his ancestors originate from). So he may also be prohibited (by his family) from marrying an Indian girl who just isn't from the right "area"....if that makes sense. But then again he also said he was just speculating and that he doesn't know for sure if he can't marry someone who isn't Indian, Hindu or from his area...for all he knows right now, his parents may warm up to the idea. I would never make him convert and he knows that I wouldn't surrender my religion either.

I would never ask him to change for me, and I don't think he would want me to change for him either... Hopefully it doesn't come to that, as I would hate to be half-hearted with a conversion, knowing all along that I was raised Catholic, enjoy being Catholic, and feel a connection to my religion because of memories from my childhood and going to church with my now deceased grandmother. Basically it's mostly a sentimental thing for me now, as I know I can pray to God whenever I want no matter what and He'll accept me.

And by the way, my boyfriend's older brother just recently got married to an Indian girl. Fixed marriages are their tradition right? So I'm nervous that when my boyfriend turns 28 or 30, he might be forced by his parents to wed other Indian girls. But I won't let that happen because I'll introduce myself before he even turns 25. We're both nineteen now by the way. How about your boyfriend's parents? Do they also follow the traditional fixed marriages?

Ohh okay..yeah definitely get in there before he gets much older. I'm 22 now and my boyfriend is 26. He's an only child so I don't know how his family feels about arranged marriages but I know he has cousins who have had them, so I assume they'd do the same for him if he wanted to/they wanted him to at some point. Actually now that I think of it, his parents had an arranged marriage so I'm sure they are all for it. I know it's so common still in India, but I can't shake the fact that it seems so weird to me (as an American)...can't imagine having my parents find me a spouse to spend the rest of my life with that I won't meet until pretty much a few weeks or days before the wedding! Ahhh! lol

yes! we need to keep the faith! keep me updated on your situation if anything changes! I wish the best for you, as I know that nervous feeling you must also have about the day you meet them or something happens that changes the relationship whether positive or negative.. let's hope for positive changes!

wish you all the very best!

thank you very much! :)

True, very true. Yeah, I don't want it to go to far without him telling them. His parents don't seem to be too hardcore, from what he tells me of them. But then again, I haven't met them, so we'll see... fingers crossed! :)

Awww thank you! :) Yeah, they had to have assumed that something like that would happen, I agree. I just hope they don't get angry with him or cut him off or something, because I couldn't live with myself if that happened because of me. You are definitely right though, it is certainly still too early to tell. I guess I'll just take it one day at a time! :)

yeah and maybe find ways for them to like you as well..maybe a little background check about them? lol like what they like, what they dislike.. your boyfriend might be able to help you with this if he is really into you..he would not leave you

ooh good idea! I'll do some prodding and find out what I can do to make them fall in love like he did hehe ;)

Usually us Christians/Catholic don't really mind what religion our boyfriend/girlfriend has. this discussion reminds me of the Miss Universe pageant 2011, the Philippines' answer to the question. you can check it out here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKt1YpZk7V8

Awww, that's sad about your friend and her boyfriend. It's so true that religion is a hot topic with relationships - it can make it or break it. My cousin who is also Catholic was dating a Jewish man for years and years...and every so often he'd break up with her because he couldn't marry a non-Jewish person. It really took a toll on her and now whenever she goes out and meets guys, one of the first questions she asks them is "Are you Jewish??" hahah I wish religion wasn't such a big deal... as much as I love my religion and my God and I'm spiritual, I still wouldn't let it ruin a relationship for me. I feel like I can have my religion and my boyfriend, and not need him to change for me as long as I don't have to change for him. We can coexist! lol

Thanks for the info, interesting! :)

Actually, His number one command is that we love Him with all our heart, mind and soul. I am not condemning anyone here, so please don't think anything like that... the point I was making, (which you ignored), was that to do what you are considering is in violation of Scripture. That's why I questioned your faith. If we are doers of the Word then shouldn't we be listening to, and acting on, what the Bible teaches instead of trying to find ways to do whatever we want in spite of it? It seems as though you already have conflict because of the differences in your religions if he is ashamed to tell his family about you and you must realize that it will only get more intense as the two sides entrench themselves in their own theologies. God does want us to show the love of Christ to all people but there was a reason that we are warned about being unequally yoked. I never presumed to know you or anything about your life, I simply stated what any Bible believing Christian should know and be acting upon if they value the Word of God. God allows us the free will to make all the mistakes we choose to make but I hope that this is one that you might avoid. Do whatever you want but don't think that just because I pointed out the instruction from God concerning mixed marriages that I am somehow attacking you, I'm not. If you feel that way it might be the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Just food for thought, that's all. Good luck!

Yes, I am really Christian. God's number one request is that we love ALL, because God loves ALL. I am not just a hearer, I am a doer. With all due respect, Fundamental_Charlie, you do not know me, or know anything about my life. Please have enough FAITH in me as an educated person, that I would discuss these things (raising children in either one or combined religions -yes, it can be done) before entering a marriage. I'm just discussing/venting to my peers here on mylot, lol, this isn't the final decision I'm making right now about my relationship -obviously that conversation will be saved for he and I to make...alone. Faith will only be a "major problem" if we make it a major problem. If it was going to be one in the first place then it will show itself when/if we try to get married. Thanks for your concern.

Yup! Good luck to you! Love is blind! Hopefully yours last as long as you would.

hehe knowing me, I definitely am jumping to conclusions too early - I'm a worrier from way back lol You are right, I should be using this time to read up and prepare myself so I don't embarrass him and turn them off as a stereotypical "white chick" lol

Very true...just gotta keep reminding myself of that and take it slow. :) Hey, I prayed to bring a great man my way and got that prayer answered, so I'm sure praying for a happy ending couldn't hurt either! hehe

Good idea! Yes I should figure out some of the customs and practices that I haven't already learned from him. I am trying to learn how to cook things he can eat since he has pretty restrictive (in my opinion) dietary constraints due to his upbringing and religion.

Very true! Hopefully, they won't make him choose, because if they did make him do so, I'd probably tell him to choose his family and go back to them. I love him so much, but I don't want to be known as breaking up a family, you know? Thanks for your response :)

I don't believe he'd convert to Christianity, and I don't think I want to convert either, so I think we'd have to select a place that would allow two different religions. I wonder if they would want me to convert though..hmm You're right, he's definitely on the right track..at least he's wanting to tell them about me. I guess we'll see where this takes us first. :) thanks!

I wish religion and race weren't so important, but to some people who are still close-minded or traditional, it is. :(