If your boyfriend/spouse said this to you, HOW would you respond?!
By maezee
@maezee (41988)
United States
April 11, 2012 5:11pm CST
Okay, I was reading this book (which I started another discussion about, naturally) and it was called "Thin is the New Happy" - a memoir by Valerie Frankel. Anyway, this one situation in the book stuck out to me and I've been wanting to start a discussion about it for a while (but haven't had the motivation).
In the book, Valerie is dating this guy named Steve (or something, can't quite recall his name), and they are all in that "puppy love" stage. While lying post-coital in bed with each other, Valerie goes something like: Am I beautiful?.
The guy (Steve?) goes Yes. Although you'd be even more beautiful if you lost the belly..
When I read this I was kind of SHOCKED!!!! I don't know that it's ever OK to critique a girls' weight, especially not one with a history of self-image/self esteem problems. For Valerie, in the book, this brought back up memories of a lifetime of struggling with weight & self image. I personally don't even know what I would say to something like this... But I can tell you I would get pissed off!
What would you say or do if YOUR boyfriend or spouse (or even girlfriend) said something like this to you?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
11 Apr 12
I did already like this to my wife. I hate girl to have a belly but it came back to me. My wife got pissed off. She said, can you accept what I have and don't look about my personality. I felt ashamed after she said that to me. I apologize to her.
@success1625 (533)
• Trinidad And Tobago
12 Apr 12
You know what I don't understand about some men, some men do as though they have the body of a greek GOD but they're really looking a hot mess. Steups, but if my boyfriend had told me that after we just made love,he was getting the black slapped off of him.
There aren't any words to express how I would feel if something like that was said to me, but he would've definitely heard my hand connect to his face 
Some men just to damn farse and out of timing bad bad,but come to think of it, if I was valerie I might've probably said "I'll lose the belly once you get a bigger p&n!$", I'm quite sure he would've shut up with that one 
Some men just to damn farse and out of timing bad bad,but come to think of it, if I was valerie I might've probably said "I'll lose the belly once you get a bigger p&n!$", I'm quite sure he would've shut up with that one 
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
13 Apr 12
I had this happen to me, maezee :( Not after making love, thank goodness, because to me that would have been even worse. I was seeing a guy (long distance but we would travel back and forth to visit each other) and sometimes he would be really caring and other times he'd be a bit stand-offish. At one point, I asked him directly, "Is there something you don't like about me? Am I unattractive to you somehow?" He told me he found me very attractive but then added "But... well... I guess you could stand to lose a few pounds." OMG! I just glared at him and said, "Yeah and how many people can say that aren't in that same position?" Even he himself was no Slim Jim, ya know?! Anyway, at that time in my life, my self-esteem had tanked and my thoughts were so scattered. I didn't break up with him over it but you can be sure he never forgot about what he said either 
Where I am now, I know I would NEVER tolerate being spoken to that way -- I'm worth more than that.
I just glared at him and said, "Yeah and how many people can say that aren't in that same position?" Even he himself was no Slim Jim, ya know?! Anyway, at that time in my life, my self-esteem had tanked and my thoughts were so scattered. I didn't break up with him over it but you can be sure he never forgot about what he said either Where I am now, I know I would NEVER tolerate being spoken to that way -- I'm worth more than that.
@hpresley86 (12)
• United States
12 Apr 12
Haha, I would have gotten mad too. But I am the type to get vindictively mad rather than just yell at him mad. I would say something in return to hurt his feelings.
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
25 Jul 12
I guy so if I have a problem with my girls big belly, I would not bust her out like that, instead I would help her lose it. It would really hurt for anyone to receive such comments and more so from someone you love. Try to do it in a more gentle way and no one gets hurt.
