Do you share your facebook account to your boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband?

Privacy, Trust Issue, and being Stupid - Being open to your partner is a good thing to increase the trust to each other. Privacy is good but too much privacy can also create doubts. I posted this photo because by the time I gave my account I was so confident that I did nothing to break her trust but when I asked her about her account she just smiled and say "no" which kinda make me feel so stupid. It is like am being tricked and fooled.

There is only one thing I've learned, be wise and don't be stupid.
Philippines
April 21, 2012 11:44pm CST
I have this relationship problem wherein everything seems to be unfair. My girlfriend is a jealous type person, she keeps on thinking that I am still having an affair with my x-girlfriend so she asked for my Facebook account and let her check my messages. In the name of trust, I did gave her my username and password so she can trust me 100%. So she opened everything and she found nothing, so in return I asked her, "to be fair, I want you to give me your Facebook account too so I can check yours", then she just smiled at me and say, "no!". At that moment by the time she said "No!" to me, my doubts started to rise up each minute until it came to the point that I am starting to think that she might be hiding something from me. I mean it is not fair that I am the only one who is showing loyalty to her. Until now she is still being illusive with her Facebook account for 2 months now and my trust is dying. What should I do? If this gets any longer I think it might lead to breakup. I tried talking to her but she just won't listen to what I say. I am starting to feel like giving up, because I love her that is why I'm holding on a bit longer. Any advice? Have you experienced it too?
18 responses
@ShyBear88 (59316)
• Sterling, Virginia
22 Apr 12
Normally when one person says that the other person is cheating on them then are the ones that is cheating on there parent. So I think it would be fair to say she is either cheating on you or seeing other guys behind your back or at least maybe thinking about it. Me if my husband did that and wouldn't out of fairness let me see his own account then I would be upset and talk to him and tell him its not far and even then if he didn't I would leave him. If he truly has nothing to hide then he would let me see when ever and I should him mine when ever. But we don't look at each others accounts because we both no we are not cheating on each other. There is nothing either of us hide from the other.
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
Wow! That is nice to know, I wish I can find someone like you who knows how to handle a serious relationship and knows her responsibility. By the way I am 24 and my girlfriend who is soon to be my x is 20. She is still immature and I can understand that.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
That is nice thing to know, you feel secure and you got nothing to worry. Before we were like that, we don't look each others account until she doubted me first and insist to see my account's messages. Love is full of unfair situation, isn't it?
@ShyBear88 (59316)
• Sterling, Virginia
24 Apr 12
Real love between two people should never be unfair. With me and my husband its never like that. We have know each other for a total of almost 8 years, been married 2 years, have a daughter together and now having a second baby. I trust him to the point I don't worry. He goes to work comes home to me he spends every second that he isn't working with me. its always been that way even before we where married. We dated for a every short time but we are always fair to each other. When your with someone you should trust them and they should trust you. If there is not trust then its not really going to last every long. Respect each other, trust each other, give in to your love for each other. I've always given very thing of myself to my husband I do what makes me happy and he does what makes him happy. I'm 23, he's 23 but we act like we are 50 something year olds that have been married almost forever.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Apr 12
It's really unfair. So far I din't give my account access to anybody even my wife. Although, there's nothing I hide with her but for me it a personal. I don't want to make any problem with anybody. I have a closed friend that I can have access to his account but I didn't do anything. He trust me because we are treating each other as brother. If that is the case in your relationship, I think you should think which side you are with her. Don't be a slave to her because you love her.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
You are right, but the reason I gave my account is for her to trust me so she won't keep on thinking about me having an affair to my x-girlfriend. I am concerned about her feelings but she just so insensitive to see that I am also in pain.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
That is what I thought so, I've been thinking a lot lately and I finally made up my mind. It is useless holding on to someone who doesn't even care what you feel.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
22 Apr 12
maybe she is not serious with you. If she think your feelings, she give her access to you but she doesn't care about yourself.
@GemmaR (8517)
22 Apr 12
I don't share my social networking website accounts with anyone, and I don't think that this is something that is likely to change at any point in the near future. This is because I feel that everybody needs some kind of privacy in their lives and my privacy is that I am able to message people in private that I might not want my partner to know about. Not because I am doing anything wrong, but just because I feel as though I am entitled to a private life just as I think that they are as well. Your partner does not need to know every single little thing about you.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
But too much privacy can create doubts but I think if you really treat your partner as part of you, he or she has the right to know everything about you as well as your private life. I mean the trust is there and what is the purpose of being part of someone's life if there lots of restrictions. If you also love your partner you won't get mad or feel anything if he or she tries to know about your private life right? Because you are not hiding something. You only get mad if your partner invaded your privacy then you are hiding something. So try to think about it, privacy is good but if in that privacy there is something that can ruin your relationship, that is bad.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
23 Apr 12
I agree with GemmaR too. girlfriends/Boyfriends or husband doesn't need to know everything in our privacy...
• India
22 Apr 12
i agree. one's privacy should not be invaded no matter what the circumstances and situation.
@la_chique (1498)
22 Apr 12
I think trust is an important thing. I have my own fb account, he has his and we have no need to go onto each others accounts to check up on each other. I chat to people on my fb that I don't tell my OH about, but he probably wouldn't be interested anyway because its people from work or from school or something who he doesn't even know and has no interest in their lives. I tell him usually what I've said of significance to people we both know, just so we know what's going on, but apart from that, its the same for both of us. I have protection set on my fb so I post things that only certain groups can see. Partially so I don't share my whole life with the world and partially so I only share relevant things with people. A guy I went to school with 10 years ago and who I only randomly say 'hi' to now and then doesn't need to know what I'm doing tomorrow, but if I've got an exam tomorrow or something, my colleagues might want to see that status and wish me luck. As for the OH, he sees nothing to be honest. He's only on my friends list so he can talk to some of the ppl I talk to, but hes not fb's biggest fan so I don't share things with him because he just thinks its all lame. Anyway, it all comes down to trust, but she may just be playing games with you. If my OH asked me about my account, I'd sit with him and go through my message history, but he wouldn't have access to my password, and I wouldn't expect that from him either. You could always.......block her, make yourself unsearchable on fb and tell her you deleted your account to make it easier. Whilst you shouldn't be hiding that from her, if that's what it takes for her to stop playing games and be in the relationship with you, then just do that. Otherwise, you'll need to decide whether or not you think its worth being with her, because she does sound a little immature and over protective. Its nice having someone care that much, but it can get smothering.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
Thank you so much for the advice, tip, and the experience you have shared. Yeah you are right, she is a little immature and don't know how to handle a serious relationship properly. It is not all the time that I should be the one who always handle our relationship, it should be both of us. I know it is about trust, I trusted her 100% until the time she showed me that very suspicious look on her face plus the disappointment I got from her refusal. But thank you again for that wonderful response. I can see that you are responsible enough with your actions. It is nice.
@la_chique (1498)
22 Apr 12
No problem. I hate girls that play games, we're not all like that, and you shouldn't have to put up with it. If that's the only thing wrong with the relationship though, you could just ignore it and tell yourself its just her being facebook silly. (although from what you've said, it does seem like it's more than just the fb thing) Good luck either way!
• India
22 Apr 12
Hello friend, I think it is not right. Your girl friend is not right. She is hiding you something. For better you talk her about the matter. I am share my facebook account with my boyfriend and he also share me. Have a nice day.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
That is very nice to both of you. In that way your trust with each other is intact. Being illusive with her account really means something to me.
• India
25 Apr 12
Hello friend, Yes friend I trust him and he also trust me. We share everything to each other. I think a good relationship is based on a good understanding. And also a good friendship. So at first you try to become your girl friend's friend. I think then your problem will be solved. Best of luck and have a nice day.
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
This happened to me too but I was like your girlfriend. I asked for my girlfriend's username and password because I started to fell that she was hiding something from me. She spent more time on facebook than with me. I gave her a day to clean up whatever she wanted to delete, old messages and stuff conversations and everything she knew would prove my suspicions. Okay, so that next day she gave me her account logins then I started monitoring her inbox activity and there you go. A message from a cute guy popped up telling her that he was flattered she called him handsome and he was willing to meet her. I was furious for being cheated but I gave her back her account and told her we were over. We talked after that but it was never settled.
• Philippines
24 Apr 12
Wow! I can image how you feel because I've been in your situation I think this is the 3rd time now. You see, girls keep on accusing and judging us men that we are the cheaters but I think they seemed to be number one now compare to me. Women now a days are trying to compete with men but they never understand the word "respect" which they might lost if they try to get in to the world of polygamy.
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
I second that.
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
when you gave your facebook password to her, you allowed her to get into your facebook world. i think there is nothing wrong with that. you love her and you want her to see your world. and i assume you are happy that she is into your world. that's why i do not see the situation becoming a problem. let her allow you into her world with her will. if she does, then you know that you are into her world. do not force yourself into her world. in time, she will let you.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
At some point you are right, all I want is for her to be fair. Relationship is all about give and take right? I already gave her something she wants and it is time for her to do the same in return but she didn't so I'll just have to wait. I just hope she realize that before everything is too late. So how can I remove my doubts? It feels like she is hiding something from me.
@cupkitties (7421)
• United States
23 Apr 12
My ex husband was exactly like that. If another man so much as passed by or said hello to me, he would accuse me of that man being my boyfriend. Once the door on our room got locked by accident for all of a few seconds and he started choking me saying I had sneaked another man in through the window. In the end it turned out he was the one doing the cheating. They say that when an unfaithful partner is feeling guilty they will reflect their actions onto their significant other. In their minds, they are saying to themselves "He/she does it too." This lie helps them to justify their actions and allows them to repeat the cycle. Staying with someone like that will only end very badly.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
So true, the one who keeps on doubting is the one who is doing something. That is what is happening to my girlfriend now. She was paranoid that I might having an affair but I guess she is the one who is doing it.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
6 Oct 12
hi, when i had a boyfriend before i dont care if he will read or see my Facebook account meaning i shared my Facebook account to him because i know i dont have to hide anything in my account,and he could never see anything bad on it.but i he didn't shared his Facebook to me and that was the started that i have some suspicion to him.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
6 Oct 12
i would never ever share ,the privacy in one thing which i am really strict about and i will stick to myself always
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
23 Apr 12
I never share my Facebook account to a boyfriend and i wont ask him to give me password and username also. Everyone should has own space...i never check my boyfriend cellphone also so that he should do the same. It doesn't mean i have something to hide him, I just don't like anyone who checks and checks on my things. In your case, your girl is not fair at all. She asked you an username and pass to log in your account but she doesn't give hers as her return. If i was you, i will be angry. I don't like anyone who fakes on me.
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
Yeah, I was not angry that much but I am so disappointed and feel stupid. My good thoughts about her was gone.
• China
23 Apr 12
pnce my bf would like to give me his password, i refused, though in relationship, we need private something like that. share everything may make us unattactive to our parter, he/she knows you completely
• Philippines
23 Apr 12
Really? This is the first time I heard about this, "share everything may make us unattractive to our partner". I mean, I thought sharing is an act of loving someone and if you share everything you have to your partner that means you are not selfish and It can make love grow more stronger. Being in an unselfish relationship is good right? It is everyone's dream where You feel secure.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
no i dont share it to my boyfriend. he also does not share it with me. and i dont mind. we both respect each other's privacy and we trust each other that we are not doing something which could harm our relationship.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
I could have respect her privacy if she was not so insistent with my account. She was the one who doubted me first so to be fair she should do the same thing for me in that way things will not be so complicated. Don't you think? Thank you for sharing your experience, it is nice that both of you did the right thing to your relationship without facebook getting in the way.
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
I must say that I know where you're coming from. I've experienced being the jealous type and being suspicious, I've also experienced being not trusted by a partner. I know how this feels. Frustrating as it may seem, but if you continue giving your girlfriend all access to your account will make it even more worse, and vice versa. Relationships require a lot of patience, understanding, love and the very most important is trust. If both of you don't have that then you're heading for the wrong way which wouldn't help you both. It will only destroy a once healthy relationship. I do believe that sometimes, we need to be open with our partners but there maybe times that we also need to give our partners a little space and privacy to allow ourselves growth. Both of you having all access to each others accounts would only create a lot of conflict, most especially if you don't trust each other. So the best thing to do for now is to make her understand what it takes to keep the relationship by trusting one another. You don't need to have access to her account, and she doesn't need to have access to your account either. By having trust, you agree for one another to give a little space for matters that would require privacy. I guess both of you could make it, you just need to compromise then. Again it requires a lot patience, understanding, love and trust. Just don't forget that. Hope this would help. ;)
• Philippines
22 Apr 12
Thank you for your nice answer and advice. I see your point, I am trying to be open about everything in my life to her because she is already a part of me. I don't want to hide something from her because I want to maintain that 100% trust. I know privacy is good but too much privacy can create doubts. With the expression and the action she showed me, I can't stop thinking about doubts. I was really expecting that she would do the same thing but my expectations failed which is very frustrating and disappointing also. But nonetheless, I did learned something about your post, something different. Thanks
• Philippines
30 Apr 12
You are very much welcome. I've learned everything the hard way though, and I've been into this familiar situation quite a lot already. So I've thought of sharing these things to you so I can be a bit of help to both of you and your relationship. I guess, you should both cherish the relationship for keeps. Commitments require a lots of things and one of which is sacrifice, and not the other way around unlike most relationships nowadays that wouldn't even last for a year. From there, both of you should know where each of you is coming from. Well, best of luck to both of you then! ;)
@smoke_gun (1243)
• Malaysia
22 Apr 12
Why not just create two different account and give the password of the one account status "normal" to partner and keep another "secret" account for own purpose?Since this is not an new issue when there were social networks.
@shivanisd (387)
• India
22 Apr 12
Facebook is doing more harm than good to relationships between people. i would never ask someone to do this nor let someone force me. relationships are all about trust. if you dont trust your bf/ gf, then something is already wrong!
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
26 Apr 12
I think that is not fear , You should finish with her , is not loyal to u , she is selfish . Talk to her and clear things , and take it from there ok . Be happy , you can find a person who really love you , dont waist your time , you worst a lot. ok , have a good day.
• United States
22 Apr 12
I would never share my facebook account with anybody. That could cause real problems with privacy and what not. Stay away from it.