felt terrible
By jazel_juan
@jazel_juan (15746)
Philippines
April 24, 2012 9:35pm CST
well my conscience poked me.
yes she did. you see, i have this officemate who often times we tease him for being so slow..yes he naturally moves slow...and often times goes to the bathroom, i guess he had some bad stomach we are not sure...
but this morning he was awfully quiet..and i had this feeling that i might not join the teasing today as something is wrong with him... and that gut feeling is there that i might have teased him a bit too much.
we had this private messaging we are allowed in our LAN so i messaged him and asked him how he is and he told me his wife is sick and need some medical help...and i said oh.. am sorry for that and well i told him if he needs help we are here.. 
oh well, i might lay off a bit right now. 
we had this private messaging we are allowed in our LAN so i messaged him and asked him how he is and he told me his wife is sick and need some medical help...and i said oh.. am sorry for that and well i told him if he needs help we are here..
oh well, i might lay off a bit right now. 4 people like this
12 responses
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
25 Apr 12
It is good that you are perceptive enough to see that he had other troubles. You will probbly think twice before teasing others in the future. I hope you can help him out if he needs it.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
well GG, i am quite that perceptive i believe, i could sense if that person is up for it or not up for it...so i asked him.. and i offered him my help if they want to file for the sickness reimbursement as i think he is not that aware of it
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
that was very nice of you and your crew to help out Hatley.. we do do such thing as well but i am not sure how it will work this time.. it is usually the human resource's who initiate such move
@MoonGypsy (4606)
• United States
25 Apr 12
it's good that you have a conscious a bout it. this shows that you are a good person. i guess it's pretty boring at work, thereby, creating an environment where people who have to look at each other all day have nothing else to do sometimes but that. we are ALL guilty of it. even if we do it in our minds, or at home away from the person. i don't think he cared about you guys messing with him as much as he was upset about his wife's condition. i would just lay off him a while, be nice to him and yourself. don't beat yourself up so bad about it.
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
yes we did lay off as he was quiet.. the teasing well, sometimes he himself brought it upon him as he always do stuff that is quite out of the ordinary thus the teasing but we layed off yesterday.. and i did offer some help
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
Oh that's sad. Perhaps the main reason why he went often to the washroom to cry! It's not really good to tease someone, most especially if it's becoming a daily habit. You see, these people might have something bad happening to them or their lives. Teasing also tantamounts to bullying, I guess.
It's good that you did not start teasing again. Perhaps you should let the other people know of his predicament so they won't make a fool of themselves.
Teasing could only be good when it's out of fun but hopefully not out of somebody else's expense. But glad you did stop yourself from starting some teasing for him. He must have felt horrible that day.
Have a great MyLot experience ahead!
2 people like this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
actually since we are only 7 in the office, we do get to see what is going on.. i am not really one who starts the teasing, one guy here often teases..anyways he do have stomach problems..
but i do feel bad that is why i talked to him
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Apr 12
jazel juan look some of us do move slower but it hurts for me anyway as my roommate is always pushing it calling me slow and damn
I move as fast as I can for someone with arthritis in both knees. It is not pleasant to feel singled out like that for something you really cannot help.I really think that you would do better to find something less irritating to tease him about.You should feel terrible really as somethings people cannot help and to be teased about something he might even hate that he moves slow is not kind.
people cannot help and to be teased about something he might even hate that he moves slow is not kind.1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
yes i know but he is like my age and so slow.. but i guess not everyone is alike.. and i feel bad actually..
@mommynigabby (41)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
always the odd one out.. :(
i feel bad for him..
1 person likes this
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
I feel sorry for the colleague who was always being teased. I really don't like to tease others on what their weakness are because I too would not want them to tease me of what my weaknesses are. It was a good move of yours to ask him how he is feelings, that was very considerate of yours. I do hope your colleagues as well will be able to learn from you to not tease others and be more considerate and be sensitive before they start teasing.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
i also did learn something, like i have said my conscience knocked me this time
@mommynigabby (41)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
yeah right. THE GOLDEN RULE: Do not do unto others, what you don't want others do unto you. SAme here @gaiza12, I really hope this will be a lesson for everyone who looks down on people who they think are lesser individual.. makes me sad really that we make fun courtesy of those people. let's not do this anymore.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
Sometimes we get carried away by our colleagues at work in throwing jokes on a person. Though, i am proud to say, i don't join in in teasing a person when it comes to his/her persona. 
But if it is with something that he/she has done, i would join in the fun.
It's a good thing that you were able to ask him how he is doing. Perhaps you can initiate asking him in what way can you and your office mates help him. Maybe he needs financial help, so a little "ambag", such as even PhP20 from each of you can at least help, di ba jazel?
Or you can go to the boss to tell him /her, your office mate needs help.
But if it is with something that he/she has done, i would join in the fun.
It's a good thing that you were able to ask him how he is doing. Perhaps you can initiate asking him in what way can you and your office mates help him. Maybe he needs financial help, so a little "ambag", such as even PhP20 from each of you can at least help, di ba jazel?
Or you can go to the boss to tell him /her, your office mate needs help.
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
He didn't tell us yet how is his wife.. but i did offer help in some paper work for his sickness reimbursement and i assisted him in applying a loan here.. as we are allowed to during emergencies..as for the "ambag" i might offer and suggest it here as well, thanks!
@mommynigabby (41)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
that would be a great initiative sis. I just hope that he'll be able to overcome everything and be aligned with the normal ones. he maybe in some situation that doesn't allow him to become "fast" in most situation.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
We cannot avoid these scenario with colleagues.
But yes, sometimes we feel guilt feelings that we're overdoing it.
Good thing you've listened to your inner mind.
Hope your officemate feels some comfort - you can also rely the situation to your other office-mates 
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
Hi Ms.Jai,
yes i also agree that it is quite common for such teasing around to happen in an office environment, there is always the odd one out.. but yes this time i felt that the teasing should be stopped.. or halted for awhile
and i am glad i did as i know he was not up for it as something is going on
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
25 Apr 12
Hi jazel
Sometimes when we start teasing - we cross the limits. But as we are people with a better heart than many others, we realize and feel guilty. It happened with me once - here at mylot when I am sure, I crossed my limits. Lesson Learned! Today, I dont make fun of others - and have changed to making fun of myself. It is me who is the subject and even the one who teases... so I am at least safer.
I feel people who are teased have more of a bigger heart and are quite great humans.
In your case, you are lucky to be able to provide this guy some help which I am sure would help you overcome the guilt... and you can become great friends.
Sometimes when we start teasing - we cross the limits. But as we are people with a better heart than many others, we realize and feel guilty. It happened with me once - here at mylot when I am sure, I crossed my limits. Lesson Learned! Today, I dont make fun of others - and have changed to making fun of myself. It is me who is the subject and even the one who teases... so I am at least safer.
I feel people who are teased have more of a bigger heart and are quite great humans.
In your case, you are lucky to be able to provide this guy some help which I am sure would help you overcome the guilt... and you can become great friends.1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
Hi Sids,
Well i do agree with you, LESSON LEARNED, i really feel bad that i know i had to offer some help..often times i am like this, i get this feeling immediately that something is not wrong and that i have to do something for that person.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
25 Apr 12
At least you were kind enough to message him about how he feels.
1 person likes this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
25 Apr 12
nice of you to ask him how he is doing instead of always teasing.. with a sick partner perhaps nobody to turn to you can be slow too.. out of energy out of everything...
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
26 Apr 12
I thought of that too Kitty and that is why he always seem so tired..
@honest_efforts100 (1607)
• India
5 Oct 12
You must act as a professional don’t tease anyone, because we don’t know what they feel. What if the situation is back to you? They will tease how you would react to them? So now you know the situation why he is so slow because of the problem.
