Is there a right time to talk with your man about something serious?
By jonnifc
@jonnifc (1017)
Philippines
May 6, 2012 11:45pm CST
My questions seems silly but help me out friends. =) I was trying to look for that article I read on Yahoo about the right times of the day to talk with your man about something. I can't find it anymore but somewhere in the article it said that if you want to talk about something serious with your man and you don't want much confrontation, do it after dinner when he's fed and not that sleepy yet. I don't know if I'm remembering the article correctly but it was something to that effect. You see, I want to talk to my boyfriend about a sensitive topic that affects our future together. It's something that he has to do but hasn't done it yet. We are in different continents now so we're just gonna do this mostly via texting. I want to let him know that I feel our future is not his priority because all he does is work. I believe that if he really wanted to get it done, he will make time for it. Sorry for being cryptic but I hope you get what I'm trying to say. Anyway, I don't want it to end up in a fight because it's hard to fight if you can't actually talk to each other. So is there really a right time to talk to a guy with less confrontation? Male views are very much welcome. Thanks!
5 responses
@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
7 May 12
The right time to talk to a man is as soon as possible. Shying away from a confrontation that involves a point you are trying to get across with your boyfriend only puts you in a submissive position. If he truly cares for you he will value your concerns and treat them as his own. If he gets angry and dismisses them then you might not be pursuing the healthiest of relationships.
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
7 May 12
Thanks for your response! 
You know, I've thought about that. When I approach the topic he kinda cuts off the discussion by saying something like "I'll work on it. I promise." But is it too much to ask for a specific, measurable and reasonable time frame? If I follow up on it immediately, I feel like I'm nagging or pressuring him. I cannot "discuss" with him while he's at work. So I'm only left with before going to work (I don't want during this time because I feel like it's too early in his day), after work and Sundays. We're on a 12-hour time difference so that makes it a little harder. But I do get your point. I don't want to ignore the possibility that it might end up in a breakup.
You know, I've thought about that. When I approach the topic he kinda cuts off the discussion by saying something like "I'll work on it. I promise." But is it too much to ask for a specific, measurable and reasonable time frame? If I follow up on it immediately, I feel like I'm nagging or pressuring him. I cannot "discuss" with him while he's at work. So I'm only left with before going to work (I don't want during this time because I feel like it's too early in his day), after work and Sundays. We're on a 12-hour time difference so that makes it a little harder. But I do get your point. I don't want to ignore the possibility that it might end up in a breakup.@PhillyDreamer (3039)
• United States
7 May 12
Long distance relationships are much harder. It may be he is comfortable with the relationship as it is while you want more. The only advice I can give you is to end it now, or enjoy the ride for what it is. How long has this relationship gone on?
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
12 May 12
You are so right. I know I want more and he says he wants more too but I don't think he wants is as much as I do. We have been together for almost 5 years but I left almost a year ago. So for the most part, we were together in one place. If I can talk to him face to face anytime, I wouldn't think twice about talking to him even if we end up fighting. At least we are face to face and we can resolve things if we want to. I can run after him if he chooses to walk away or I can walk away myself if I wanted to. And I will know whatever his expressions are, for sure. Texting, or even Skypeing is not so accommodating. That's why I have reservations. I don't want to lose him that's why I want to talk about it. I'm just scared.
@allamgirl (2140)
• Philippines
8 May 12
I always think that sooner is always better, otherwise, the problem will just get bigger and bigger. So talk to your man soon about whatever that's bothering you. If he truly loves you, he should make time for you, at least hear you out.
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
7 May 12
yes, there is always a right time to talk about anything especially if it bothers you and very important to you. you just have to tell your partner how important it is to you to talk about it. if he really cares for you and the relationship, he will give time to your request or demand. well, you have the right to do this because you are her partner and you care about your future together.
@jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
7 May 12
Thanks for your response! You're right! I do have a right to ask for a time to talk. But I get ahead of myself a lot and I get scared that what if I won't be able to handle it if it resulted to an argument. I'm not very confrontational, you see. And I know I should assert more effort into fighting for what is important to me. Ugh! Thanks again for your time!
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
7 May 12
Good luck with that! With my experince there is not a good time or any subject to be brought up with man! I dated alot of jerks! One guy had a violent temper and the few times I tried to talk to him I feared for me life!
All the other men just angered with me and in some chases threw insults at me!
I was always blamed for things even if it wasn't my fault!
This is one of the reason's I know I am not a person to be with a man,after years of thinking I did! I wasted way to much of my life trying to find a man! Men are a waste of time and energy for me! Being single and alone is for me!
All the other men just angered with me and in some chases threw insults at me! I was always blamed for things even if it wasn't my fault! This is one of the reason's I know I am not a person to be with a man,after years of thinking I did! I wasted way to much of my life trying to find a man! Men are a waste of time and energy for me! Being single and alone is for me! @jonnifc (1017)
• Philippines
12 May 12
I'm sorry for what you've been through. If being single work for you, go for it! If that will make you happier, why not? As for me, being with my guy makes me happier than being alone. That's why I want to go for it too. I want to work things out and see things through. Good luck to you as well!
@asuankhor (37)
• Taiwan
7 May 12
I think that maybe your boyfriend is not ready about his future life.If he thought about his future on how to take it,he will take the initiative with you to talk about the future life.And that's really a right time to talk to a guy,including my father i always choose the right time to talk to my father.
