Will you go?

If you really don't feel comfortable around the people it is okay to just tell your friend something came up. Then make plans to just go to luch or dinner with them another time.This way when you make plans you will know it is just you both. Don't fell guilty about not going.

I'd still go..considering if the friend is very close to me. If the friend happened to be a casual friend, then I'd think twice.

This is a very interesting question. I know someone that is like that. She will invite me out to eat, and occasionally bring someone else along. I do not mind meeting and getting to know other people, but it is not something I always want to do, especially in your situation. I understand that the friend is someone you rarely see, and I would appreciate a more one on one meeting if I were you, but if you feel that you cannot tolerate the presence of other people who were also invited then be honest with yourself and politely decline the lunch/dinner. If I wanted to catch up with an old friend that I rarely see, I would like to do that one and one. I really think that is how it should be. If I saw the friend more often I would not mind having other people invited; but with other people there on this rare occasion, it takes away from the comfort of expressing yourself completely. Maybe you can go to lunch/dinner and hopefully your friend will give you most of his or her attention, and the other friends can divide equal attention amongst themselves and whenever you can all engage in conservation hopefully it is pleasant. Go ahead to that lunch/dinner and enjoy yourself.

i have been into such situations before, invited but with people i do not know and am not comfortable with, i opted not to go... i personally do not like being left out and since i am not much of a people person, i cannot really bond that easily especially with people i have nothing in common...so i opted not to go so there won't be awkward moments

I will not go. Even if it's someone I do not see very often, I can always invite him/her to a different place and time to catch up. There is always a place and time for that. But not now. Not in the place and time when the people whom I'm not comfortable with are there. It will just make me feel uncomfortable and I know I won't enjoy so I won't come.

i think i would make up an excuse but try to make other plans with that friend at a later date. i would hate to lie to my friend but if your not comfortable around the other people then that isnt really fair to you so i wouldnt go. depends on how good of friends you are you could just tell that friend the truth about you being uncomfortable and then do the same thing and make new plans for just the 2 of you.

That is a tough one. I suppose that if I was not comfortable with some of the guests, I would not go. But something I would do if I did want to see this person is decline that particular dinner. And then I would ask them to join me a different day. That would be the best bet, as you would not want to feel upset while with the dinner party. ~C~

Go with your friend, but take your own car or other transportation. It may be just fine to be there, and you may learn to appreciate the other people in this setting. If it is too uncomfortable, after a short while you can think of a reason to leave but set another time to have another meal with the friend you want to catch up with.

I doubt it, if I didn't care for the others I think i just wouldn't go and maybe try to hook up another time when it can be just the 2 of us. Why go when you know you not gonna enjoy yourself

dolce_vita78..I think a lot depends on just how seriously you feel uncomfortable with the others. If it's minor I'd ignore it, if it is really a problem why not invite your friend some other time and have it be just the 2 of you?

I agree with others here, if its a major issue with the other people I would not go. But if its just something little than I might give it a try and try to ignore whatever the problem is with the other guests. I have had this issue before with my sister and a couple people she hangs out with. I am not crazy about them but I deal with them if its only a short while. I just ignore their immaturity and then either vent here or to my husband, LOL. Its gotta be up to you though and how uncomfortable you are with them...

hi dolce_vita maybe your friend is different from whawt mine was like when I was in this situation. Maybe she will take the time to catch up with you eventhough these other people are there you are not comfortable with. Something like this has ruined a friendship for me in my early 20s. It was my best friend since I was 13, and I had just suffered the breakup with my fiance so I was quite vulnerable. We had a school reunion and she wanted to go there. I said theres dancing involved and that brings memories of my loved one who broke up with me as his parents dont like me so I better not go. She talked me into going, saying she was never popular with the guys either so we can sit and catch up on things. Needless to say as she was my best friend I gave in. She was accompanied by her two older brothers which was okay with me but didnt take any time for me and in fact the one sitting alone was me then so after half an hour I told someone to please hand the money I owed her for the entrance card and I went home again.

I would not go, I don't like to stay in between or with people I don't feel comfortable with. So I would tell this friend and see if we can make an other appointment. If not that is fine with me too, also because weh did not meet very often anymore and there are other ways to communicate if you really want.

I was confronted with a similar situation not long ago. It wasn't a friend but a family dinner. I usually do not attend for many reasons. I work shift work and am often working, I live a 4.5 hour drive away and I do not get along with my one sister...I hadn't spoken to her for 4 years. Well, it so happened that on the last family dinner I wasn't working, I had the whole weekend off and it was supposed to be nice weather-wise...a good day for a drive in the convertible. I debated whether to go or not as I knew I would feel uncomfortable. What did I do? I decided that I shouldn't let anyone else keep me from doing what I wanted to do. Just because there was going to be someone there who I was not comfortable about seeing, why should I stay away and miss having fun with other family members. I went and thoroughly enjoyed myself. So, my advice, if you want to see your friend, go. Don't let others who are going to be there stop you from doing what you want to do. If you are unbearably uncomfortable you can always leave.

I think it is good to visit friends that who really love us and who really care for us. I would suggest you to go and have lunch or dinner together with your friend when both of you are free and when you both are alone. I would suggest you to talk to your friend and say that if you can come on some other day if you are not comfortable with particular people who are there.

Just don't go if you're not comfortable with these people. Catch up with her when you get her alone. Schedule some "alone" time with her, maybe a light snack, or a dinner where you two can be alone.

I will not go because most probably I will not be able to enjoy the lunch. I would request my friend to invite me sometimes later on.