Learn to Love or Love to Learn?

Do you love him for his uniquenss and being a gentleman? I think you can fall into love over time with people...sometimes you just can see them for who they are until you are in a relationship with them. Give it time, don't say it till you mean it. If he is really serious about being with you, he will wait for you and accept you and your feelings as they are now.

Honestly at first, I don't feel love to my first bf. I feel the same way you did. He was being a gentleman when he was still courting me. He was always there when I have turned him down so many times. I even showed him my darkest side so he will stay away from me. But he never stopped, he was still there. So I gave it a go and said I have to try. I was so much of a lier for saying I love you to him even if I didn't actually feel it. As time goes, I have learned to love him for everything he is including is bad sides. So my point here, is you have to give that man a chance, learn to love him. If there is really nothing wrong with him then there may be something in your heart and mind that you are so afraid of loving him. Right now, I am still with my first bf, 6 years and still counting. I believe yours will end perfect as well

I think you should give him a chance, I think with his attitude and with him showing how much he cares for you and how much he loves you, there is no reason why you cannot fall for this person. Of course you should be careful if he is just not being himself - but you can tell that anyway. I think you will be very lucky to have him if it is true what you noticed about him.. you are a lucky woman and do not neglect to see otherwise...

May I ask how old are you now? just wondering... Well, first of all why did you said yes when you really don't even like him? I have to agree I have experienced such situation like this. Back when I was in first year college.where I like the guy physically cause he has a good built and he's good in sports. I like to know him more though he said he likes me but he seldom talks to me. He is quite a mysterious to me so I talked to him and said yes. It seems like he likes the sound of it but the fact that I gave him a chance for us didn't make a big impact on both of us. I just have the experience but then turns out, he isn't making an effort to talk to me or do something for me. One month after, I talked to him and break up. Though we really were not officially called "in-a-relationship". At least I made myself clear to him that we should stop such nonsense... Kidding! I guess it can be easy to learn to love a person if he is really lovable or he has qualities that you really like. But then, if the feeling is not enough, better off let them be free. For you are hurting yourselves both. If you are guilty, try to talk to him alone and be true to yourself and to him. He deserve to know the truth anyway. Don't be afraid to tell him the truth, who knows, he might like you more on talking things through? Or if he does understands you, you might end up liking or loving him instead? Who knows, right?

Hi jemzchix! Wow! I think you just put yourself in a very difficult and complicated situation.. Although if he is someone with unique traits that is very difficult to find nowadays, then I should say you are lucky though. You made me think.. Learn to love, or love to learn? What is the difference between the two? Should we learn to love a person? Is love really learned in a way? Love is felt naturally.. That is what I believe. But, in other cases, love is not felt right away, sometimes you just have to realize that the person is worth your love. And as time passes by, you may fall for him or her. What do you really mean by " love to learn"? For me it appears that you would love the person because you know you'll learn from it.. Did I get your point dear? Anyways, since you've got yourself in the situation already, then try be nicer and try to appreciate the person. Try to understand how he'd feel if he realizes that you don't really have feelings for him. That would really hurt him. I just wish that, if you think he is the best guy for you, then you'll somehow realize in time that you actually love him.. All I wish is that you'd both be happy.. God bless and share the love!!

It might take time, don't push yourself to love him. Just get to know him better and see if you develop any feelings. If not, then don't let him suffer any longer. Besides, he's a good guy so he deserves a chance I guess.

Love dilemma.. to fall in love is not a choice, but a chance as it can happen at an unexpected place or time, and when it does, you will surely know how it feels right there and then, unexplainable and really makes you quite happy. Teaching yourself to learn to love takes a lot of painstaking time to assess, but surely there is a chance for love to transpire as the heart could not endure such feats this man does for you.

To love somebody shouldn't be rushed, it takes time to actually love someone. So, give it time and when your heart is ready to love somebody than you'll know. So, don't try to love him just let it come naturally. Love is a natural feeling, it comes when it's ready.

I think that he definitely deserves the chance for you to love him. If he has a lot of good qualities and he treats you right then you should get to know him better so that you can love him for who he is as a person. He deserves that from you. After all you if you said yes you definitely don't want to ruin the start of this relationship by your actions. Give him the benefit of the doubt. Get to know him and you will more than likely come to love him in the realest sense.

You just like him, not love yet... Love is natural and comes to us natural way, i think, so that we cant say we have to learn to love. better you guys need more time to exactly know your feeling: love or just like.

Love is not learned. In your situation, sounds as though he's a friend. If you want companionship, get a dog. Do him a favor and let him go! There's someone out there for everyone, and you would be doing him an injustice if you were to hang onto him and not love him the way every person deserves to be loved!!