Is it worth fighting if....?

I think she has to say good bye to her past life life and switch to a new life as sha has to take care of her children.She has to be brave enough to live in this world and you friends help her in every except of her new steps.Hey you dint mentioned here that the her husband behavior with children?Is he treating them in the same way?

i use to say once a cheater always a cheater but i have seen first hand someone that cheated and never did it again. if he says he dont love her then there may be no point in trying to fight for it anymore. this is the time to try and start over fresh. my husband left for about 3 weeks and i thought he wasnt coming back. it was hard at first but it slowly got better. the pain never really goes away and it is ok to cry and be upset about the situation. i also have kids and that is what kept me going and i had to be strong for them. i personally couldnt eat like i should, it was hard to sleep at night, everything reminded me of him, and things i use to enjoy we boring and lame to me then. friends helped me by just being there for me. a neighbor just hugged me and she did what she could to help me with the kids. she helped me get my house all cleaned up and all caught up on the laundry. i soon noticed i was getting more done while he was gone. i found comfort in music, books, and i found some new hobbies. i would collect things. i also changed the whole house around because i couldnt afford to move but it looked diffrent from when he was there with me. so it was like a brand new start. i learned to do things that i didnt think that i could do. it is a slow process and i am sure she will still hurt and stil think of him on occasion but now she is free of all the lies and the hurt and the pain. she has a chance to live again and find someone that will treat her the way she deserves to be treated. i wish your friend the best of luck. sometimes a friend in pain needs nothing more but her friends around her listening to what she has to say and not saying a word. i hope that she can over come this for her self and her children :)

Such a sad situation! If the man had no legitimate reason to cheat on his wife then it is a tough life for your friend. [ by legitimate I mean ,if she were a shrew and he had been put to a lot of pestering, emotional torture on account of so many things then it is better to give her maintenance, have visiting rights or custody of children depending on their age and move on with his life.] There are just two courses of action here. One is to leave him and the other is to stay in the same house with the marriage in name only. She needs to have some activity to occupy herself and this will stand her in good stead when children are grown up. Her life must now be concentrated on children and she should get on with her life. It is a painful and undesirable situation but there is no choice. If she can maintain her family by herself then she can leave him and have a separate establishment..

your poor friend no wonder she feels so awful.sounds like she is depressed she needs to see a doctor.Why do some men do this to their woman.it is so unfair to her and the children.When my first husband left me my kids where a lot older and i certainly was not pregnant.Just tell your friend its is not her fault.Tell her she is lovely and not to waste anymore time over that man who deserted her.Suggest she goes to the pictures or out with friends once in a while.Don't let him win,dress up wear a bit of make up let him see what he is missing.Look happy and smile even when she feels low.This is all the advise my friends gave me and it worked.It is 20 years down the line ,I have remarried to a lovely man and had another child.It does pass this feeling of worthlessnes and life is for the living.Tell your friend to make her self smile and eventually she will be smiling without realising,no man is worth all that heart ache

Hi, first of all, I am sorry about what your friend is going through. I know it is hard to handle things like that. However there is nothing that your friend can do instead of moving on. Wasting her lfe for her husband isn't worth it at all. She is a mother with 3 kids. Thats the other reasons that she may not be so unresponsible by wasting her life. Her 3 kids need her.

This is a difficult situation, I am also married twelve years now, and I will probably be so devastated if it should happen to me. But at the same time, one must always pull yourself together for your children's sake. Remember our children is a gift from God Almighty and know matter this man is their earthly father God is their Heavenly Father. He says in His Word that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Remember people are just human, they will always dissappoint us, leave us by the way side, destroy us, but their is One that sticketh closer than a brother and that is God the One who created us. He loves us so much that He gave His only Begotten Son to die on the Cross of Calvary for us. Jesus redeemed us back to the Father so that we might have life eternally with God one day. So no matter the challenges we face on this earth, we must continuelly pray and let God strengthen us with might in our inner being, so that we don't lose hope. Because He is the Hope of All Glory, and mere man can not offer us what God can. Be a support for your friend , but tell her to stay prayerful and look after her beautiful children while they still alive, because if something should happen to them, she will feel even worse than what she feels now. Remember we as women carry our children for nine long months, and they bond with us like nothing else bond, so they are extremely important to us as, mothers. A man will come and go, but remember your children are yours for life, they are your seed. Her seed is blessed and mighty. Love them with all your heart. Forget this man and move on, in due time God will heal the pain, He might even bring someone new, in her life oneday , not now, but He is the God of new things, so she must just pray and be strong , fellowship with other believers , read Gods Word everyday and go in his strenght and Might and Power. She is more than a concerer, she will overcome this sadness. Because she is not alone God is holding her hand and the hands of her little ones.

Your friend needs to make a clean break by divorce or legal separation. Due to infidelity on the husband's part, I believe that divorce would be best. Until she make a clean break, she cannot move forward.

screwdriver: it depends on the culture prevalent in your country. Can a lady live alone? Is she having means to live separately? If she doesn't have means she has to tolerate this injustice and pull on for the sake of children. Such instances are common in western countries and now it is spreading to our countries also. Her husband might have developed relationship with another for satisfying his physical needs. it is not right. there are many women like this tolerating the problems for the sake of their children,

I think that her husband's feeling may have changed somewhere along the way. She may not have realized it and been blindly in love. But now it is time for her to move on and they only way is to divert her mind on to something else. Get a new man, find new friends, do some socializing, try to realize that her husband did not deserve her love. She has to let go of this love she holds for him and see that the guy was a jerk. She needs to even start hating him, and stop blaming herself and blame him instead. Maybe she can call him and swear at him, scream at him for being stupid enough to let her go. Or if not, then she just needs to stop thinking about him, and think about herself, her kids and her future. A change of scenery, or maybe even moving somewhere new, starting life afresh, developing new hobbies, all this would help if she can be up to it. Her life is much better off without that cheating husband, she just has to open her eyes and see it.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's situation. Having third party to the couple is very common nowadays. She need to be brave for her children. Tell her that you are not the only one who encountered this kind of problem, why others can still move on then I'm sure she can also do it. She need advices and comfort from you screwdriver, help her to stand still to her life. She need to let go her husband, he is not worth to your friend's love. In the future I'm sure her husband will realize that he made a wrong decision to leave his family. I hope he won't regret for it.