Are Relationships Complicated? Do They Have to Be?

Stan, I can relate to you 100% and guess who else can.....my Hubs! Him and I talk about the same thing on a regular basis. We both think that people need to just be nice and respect one another. We have been married 10 years and dated 2 years before we got married, for a total of 12 years that we have been in each others life. We have been in 5 fights (arguments) that entire time. My sister said we need to fight more,that make a relationship good. But she has never been with someone for even 5 years......

Sure, I can relate to what you are saying but when you share your life with someone there are two of you. You have to tolerate someone, make allowances for them, forgive them when they stuff up and continue to love them in spite of some of the weird, gross, ridiculous, childish, selfish things they say and do. You have to want to be intimate when they do, you have to know when they don't want to be intimate. You have to be thoughtful, helpful, and unselfish. It's complicated mate. Truly.

Oh yes, I can relate! Relationships don't have to be complicated. My hubby and I have been together since we were 18 - we got married at 34 and are still together 10 years later we are still happily together. Open communication has always been our policy . . . and if you have that - there's no need for silly games and assumptions. I will have to say that I do know people who have complicated relationships - it does exist unfortunately - and if unresolved, then it continues to be complicated . . . but I'm glad I'm not in one like that.

I think relationship is going to be simple if we make it simple.. relationship is complicated when you make it complicated.

If we just think simply like the one you said there is no cause for a relationship to be complicated. But people have different thoughts and way of dealing problems and that make everything complicated. Sometimes, we don't want to hurt the people around us and we need not think only of ourselves. Doing that make things complicated. I'd rather make things complicated for me than to hurt other people.

hello trinale! i understand what you are saying and why you are saying it...but i also think that relationships are complicated because people are complicated and complex.. you are right about the honesty and cutting b.s. situation...but a lot of people just aren't honest...i think relationships take work, but also rely on something intangible and undefinable, a magic, that makes it all work...either you've got it or you don't sort of thing...

I can totally relate to you. Relationships would be simple if people if people would keep it simple. If you're really into the other person then just stop playing games and everything would be easy to read.

Hi there! I agree with you, relationships aren't complicated especially if you have an open communication, respect, trust and love to each other. It will not be complicated at all unless otherwise you make it complicated. Like you, I want my relationship plain and simple and of course I need to enjoy every moment of it. The relationship starts to be complicated when you expect too much and when not met then you feel devastated and look for more.

their more complicated nowadays due to nobody having no definite role in their lives, everyone in the relationship is fighting for different positions of power causing clashes

I agree with you: relationships aren't complicated -- people make them complicated... I am a simple person too but my bf is a complicated guy so that we had many conflicts and debates...we all do make a problem become complicated only, not anyone else...

i totally agree with your statement. It's on us who makes it complicated. All we need is we learn how to give and take, understand and stop competition. Its so nice to love and to be love.

You are right, a relationship will be complicated if we make it complicated. actually it is not only happen in relationship but for so many aspects, we will have an easy life if we make it easy but we will have a complicated life if we make it complicated. We are the person who made the relationship complicated or not. Making assumption without cross check the truth will make situation worse, because each person has different view, making assumption usually will lead to making judgement. When it is comes to a relationship, being open to each other is very important to avoid misunderstanding. I had a complicated relationship before but I wont blame the relationship, it happened because there was lack of understanding and lack of trust. So I've learned my lesson well and hopefully my future relationship will be so much better.

You are right of course. Honesty, communication is going to get you everything you need. Taking and listening sometimes more listening than talking. As long as people communicate they have successful relationships and it need not be so complicated. On the other hand this does not apply if you own a tv remote.

There, you made it complicated just by responding to the lady's comment. We make things complicated not by playing games, but by responding to everything the other person says. After two years of marriage i have learned, that the less you respond the better it is....even if you understand something, it is not always necessary to speak out. Though i am still in the process of learning to keep quite. The less you argue the less you complicate things...... Sauni

Yes, i definitely agree with what you said. I also believe that these complications are GOd given, for us to be able to streghten our relationship with our partners. So whenever we encounter difficulties or complications in our relationships, remember the third party that is involved, and that is God. I mean apart from being honest and open minded when problems occur between you and your partner, we must put God in the center of our relationship for it to be a blessing in our life and as well to others.

You are totally right in that relationships in themselves are not complicated it's the people involved in them that make them so. (and that can apply to many things in life, not just relationships) Some relationships can be so complicated that even the people involved in them do not know everything that is going on, yet others can be very simple. Unfortunately not everybody can be, or wants to be open and honest about everything. Some people (like my ex-husband) like to play games. Others like to deceive, see what they can get away with, create problems, become bored in a relationship so want to stir things up a bit. Keep in mind that you also have to find the "right" person to have a relationship with. Some people spend their whole lives searching and never find a suitable partner while others are lucky enough to find them early on and are able to have a happy, enjoyable life together.

I agree with you, being in relationship are easy, enjoyable and fun especially if you love each other sincerely and dearly. In a relationship there are time you can experienced trials, troubles and even misunderstanding but it's only part of the realtionship and you can solve it together. Good relationship needed to be taken seriously so that it will last forever. Playing games in both parties it will cause damage and misunderstanding in a relationship. Being open, honest,loyal and faithful with each other was the key for the successful relationship. I've been in relationship for 7 years with my husband and I feel that every is easy and smooth because we always happy and open to each other. Accepting each other attitudes, opinions, thinking and even decision are a big help to maintain a good relationship to avoid any complicated discussion and relationship .