I'm The Strongest Person I Know, and Sometimes That Sucks
United States
June 13, 2012 6:45pm CST
I am a pretty strong, well grounded person. I handle crisis pretty well. In fact, I almost function better during major crisis than I do when things are calm. I like to think of it as a talent, one that has been very beneficial at times. It feels good to be level headed when everyone around me is having a meltdown. I rarely have my own meltdowns, but I am human and need to be vulnerable at times too.
Long story short, there are a lot of things going on around me right now. Some of them don't effect me personally, but most of them do. I like that I'm able to be a comforting ear, voice of reason, or verbal punching bag to some very important people in my life right now. Problem is that I don't have anyone to be those things for me right now.
Relationships are a give and take. One day you might be stronger than the strongest person you know only to be weaker than the weakest you know the next. Right now I feel like I'm the strongest person I know but at any second, when I let myself realize that what's going on is emotional for me as well, I can feel like the weakest. It's in those weak moments that I'd give anything to not be the strongest person I know.
Just wondering if anyone else ever feels this way and also curious to know who you tend to turn to when you need a supportive friend.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
14 Jun 12
Hi there and Welcome to Mylot!
Ya, I'm that person too. Sometimes it puzzles me. My life has taken a lot of ups and downs, twists and turns and yet I've never been down for long...always bounce back and move on. People that seem to come to me with all their problems which is fine. Like you, I'm glad that I can be here for them. I could also say that I don't have anyone to talk to when I'm feeling down and out. Honestly, though if I said that outloud, every single one of my friends and family members would be furious with me. Why? Because they probably really would be there for me and would gladly let me vent or whatever. Truth is, it's just not in my nature to do that. If I have a real problem, I may mention it to someone but I don't really "vent" or break down to anyone. I would tell someone else that it's not even healthy to hold things in like that and yet, I do it all the time. If I were to actually vent..it'd probably be on a place like this. Not sure why but that's how it is.
Ya, I'm that person too. Sometimes it puzzles me. My life has taken a lot of ups and downs, twists and turns and yet I've never been down for long...always bounce back and move on. People that seem to come to me with all their problems which is fine. Like you, I'm glad that I can be here for them. I could also say that I don't have anyone to talk to when I'm feeling down and out. Honestly, though if I said that outloud, every single one of my friends and family members would be furious with me. Why? Because they probably really would be there for me and would gladly let me vent or whatever. Truth is, it's just not in my nature to do that. If I have a real problem, I may mention it to someone but I don't really "vent" or break down to anyone. I would tell someone else that it's not even healthy to hold things in like that and yet, I do it all the time. If I were to actually vent..it'd probably be on a place like this. Not sure why but that's how it is. • United States
14 Jun 12
Lol... I almost said in the post that maybe there was a reason I found mylot.... I don't hold things in as much anymore & totally understand your comment that all of your friends/family would probably respond furiously. That is one of the good things about being this way. When you've been so much for so many at times, there are so many who willingly return the favor.
I do have people that I lean on. It's just that right now they all seem to need propping up way more than I do. My life is pretty great, and I wouldn't trade who I am for anything. Just sometimes I get caught up in wondering what's it would be like to break down and not be expected to be strong for a change.
Anyway, thanks for your response & for the welcome!
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
14 Jun 12
I actually know that my "people" would not react well if I were to have a melt down. I know this because a couple of times I have and it's always been over something that to them seems really trivial and it was. The thing was...that for me it was a lot of little things add up and then I blow. If I show the slightest bit of irritation, they all react as if their si something to be "concerned" about. I'm normally so laid back that if I even express the slightest irritation to anything...they react. A lot of times, it is they, those that I'm closest to, that ARE the root of my problems so it IS hard to vent. @kcdensmore (2)
•
18 Jul 12
I am in that same boat; however, if you keep bailing everyone else out eventually you start to take on too much water. It also makes it nearly impossible when you find a situation that has you totally off guard. Everyone is so used to relying on you that they have no idea you are stumped. I am so used to just lying and telling everyone it's fine it just destroys me. I am in that spot right now. The worst part is everyone assumes you can handle everything, so then they give you their problems. That's how I ended up paying my rent and my brother's. It was terrible. They never even thought that it might be destroying me financially. It took a year and a half before I was out of that situation.Now I finally can work on what I need to. It is exciting that I get to start over. I decided that I wasn't going to be that person anymore either. It is way less stress.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
14 Jun 12
It happens, really withh all of us. and it is basically the thing when it happens to you at a time you are vulnerable.. and there is no one to be the strong one for you. Happened to me and it was like i looked at all my sides and none was even so close to be with me even to those whom i have spent my time with being their shock absorber. it is really sad...
@hotsummer (13837)
• Philippines
14 Jun 12
i just feel the same way as you do. i do want someone to turn to a lot of times also. but i admit i am not that kind of person that can be strong for another person. but i do want to also. but for now i don't have that strength. as most of the time, my friends are very strong enough and they don't need my emotional support. as i am the one who was vulnerable to problems to emotional problems and disappointments. but i have not found friends that can indeed be helpful. although few friends i have are good friends also, they won't be able to help me in my problems. but they can be there to listen though. but only they can't do anything with my problem.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
15 Jun 12
I am in the same position, and I am always finding that I am the one who people will choose to come to if they're in need of a shoulder to cry on. There are so many people who come to me needing help that I often don't have the time or the energy to cope with it all. I hate letting people down though, and there is no way that I would ever want to refuse to reply to somebody just because I was worrying about having the time to talk to them. I like to do my best for my friends, even though I'm not too sure that there would be anyone for me to talk to if I was in the same position.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
14 Jun 12
I am a strong woman but i am a teary woman too...then i think it is fair for me. When being strong, i never cry in front of anyone, no talking with friends or the other about my problems, try my best to pass that hard time...but i will cry at night when i am alone....at that time, i am weak and just cry as much as i can and then sleep. I feel better tomorrow and continue to past the hard time...till it is the past.
I think better don't be strong in any situation. When you want to cry, just cry..don't keep your tears inside, it is not good for you...even you are alone, no one to sharing, crying will make you feel better after that.
